Stealing Grit

“Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. ” Kahlil Gibran

Anthony arrived at the address Coach Wash gave him and saw a modest house with a small and an organized front yard. There was a small fountain to his right surrounded by purple flowers. Anthony was feeling really stressed from what was going on at home and the sound of the water seemed to calm him down a little bit.  

Anthony went up the steps and knocked hesitantly on the door.

Coach Wash opened it with a warm smile and said “Welcome Anthony, please take your shoes off and come in.”  

Anthony entered the house and immediately noticed that the house was immaculately clean, the cleanliness of Coach Wash’s residence made him even more relaxed. His mom was consistently on him about cleaning up the house while she was at work but Anthony felt like it was an impossible task with his little brothers.

“Would you like some tea Anthony” Coach Wash asked.

“Yes Sir, I would”

“So Anthony, why do you think that I brought you here, instead of the field today?”

“I don’t know Coach Wash, why?”

“You were very frustrated at the end of our last training session, you said that you would never achieve the Speed that you desire.”

“Yeah, sometimes I just don’t know if I have what it takes to be who I want to be.”

“Who do you want to be?”

“I want to play professional football player.”

“Why?”

“Because then my mom won’t have to work crazy any hours anymore and I will be able to take care of my family.”

“Why is that important to you?”

“Because my mom hates her job, her bosses treat her like crap, and everyone in my family feels kind of helpless.”

“You want to change things for your family in a positive way…”

“I do,” Anthony replied.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?” 

“Why do you want to make things better for your family?

Anthony thought about it for a moment. “I guess if not me then who?”

Anthony and Coach Wash looked at each silently for a couple of minutes.

“Good answer.” Coach Wash said.  

“If you truly want to turn this dream into reality then you must never again demonstrate that lack of self-belief.” Coach Wash stared at Anthony with more intensity than Anthony had ever seen.

“I understand, Coach” Anthony replied.

“Do you Anthony? You must be the one that consistently has the belief in yourself more than anyone else.  Your self-belief is what is going to get you started on this journey and your self-belief is what is going to keep you going when times get hard, and as you already know Anthony times will be hard.”

"Yes Sir."

"You must become someone who always fights to the end, always with the belief that you will come out victorious."

"Yes Sir."

"Your mission is to become a professional football player. That is your Target. Once you have decided that a particular target is absolutely critical to your life and happiness, you must make it your mission to achieve it. This mission must become the central focus of your time and energy. Once declared and pursued, this mission will unveil the several smaller targets that you need to knock down along the way in order to accomplish your mission. After you have declared what your mission is, there is only one thing you absolutely need to understand in order to jump-start your mission."

Anthony thought about it for a second. "What is that Coach Wash"

"That the only way you don't make it is if you quit or die, and you make that vow today that you aren't going to quit."

Man, Coach Wash was intense. As they looked at each other the tea kettle starting making noise. Coach Wash brought out the tea and led Anthony to the backyard. Anthony went through the backyard and saw another small pond and a few stones on some green moss. A long, tall, bamboo fence separated the yard from the busy street.  

“Anthony come over here, sit.”

Anthony followed Coach Wash to two rocks sitting alongside the pond surrounded by sand.

“Today, I teach you how you can cultivate an indomitable self-belief through a process I call M.V.P.”

“Becoming my own Most Valuable Player!” Anthony responded enthusiastically.

“Yes, by diligently working on this practice you will become your own most valuable player but in this case, the acronym stands for something else. The M stands for meditation. Have you ever meditated before Anthony?”

“No, I mean they tried to teach my class in school but no one took it too seriously. Isn’t meditation for people from China, India and places like that.”

“Yes Anthony, the Eastern religions encourage meditation but so do many other religions and other cultures across the World. If it makes you feel better you don’t have to call it meditation you can call it focus training, to gain self-belief you must be able to cultivate your focus." Coach Wash shared.

“I have a hard time focusing, it seems like whenever I try to focus on something my mind starts thinking about something else.

“Anthony the link between focus and high performance remains hidden most of the time, it ripples through almost everything we seek to accomplish.”

“How do I improve my Focus?” Anthony asked.

“Focus works much like muscle-use. Anthony what happens when you don’t train for a couple of weeks.”

“I feel slower and weaker.”

“Yes this is true and how do you feel now after you been training hard consistently?” Coach Wash asked.

“I feel fast and powerful.”

“Yes this is true and your focus ability works just like your body, train it well and it improves, ignore its power and it gets weaker.”

“So how do I improve my ability to focus?”

“ Concentrating on one single thing is the best way to improve your focus. The best way practice concentrate on one single thing is to do meditate?”

“ So let me get this straight, meditation help improve my focus ability, and my ability to focus is a key factor in making it to professional football?” Anthony asked.

“Anthony your ability to focus is a key factor in your ability to do anything well in life.”

“Let’s do this, I’m ready.” Anthony started squirming on the rock, at this point ready to do whatever the task required.

“Anthony before you can take control of your mind, you first must calm it down. The fastest way to calm your mind along with your body is through slow and controlled deep breathing.”

“Like the 4x4x4 breaths that you were teaching me on the field!” Anthony said enthusiastically

“Yes, Anthony, deep breathing from your gut is a simple but powerful tactic you must apply to calm your body and your mind. By focusing on your breath, you collapse your focus to the present moment. This helps you get in concentration mode while also providing the benefits that we talked about on the field.”

“The recovery of the nervous system.”

“That is correct, Anthony.”

“Anthony, I want you to straighten your back and look at the water.”

Anthony did as Coach Wash requested, his size 15 Jordan shoe excitedly tapping the stones beneath his feet.  

“Anthony I want you to go through five cycles of the 4x4x4 breathing, visualizing your body calming from head to toe. After doing this, relax into your natural breathing pattern through your nose but maintain your focus on your breath.”

Coach Wash watched Anthony follow his instructions and he noticed the Jordan shoe had stopped tapping.

“Now Anthony in your mind’s eye, listen to the running water and see yourself sitting at the bottom of a deep pond. All the noise, gunshots, and car screeching that you hear from your current World is all fading away. You are not in East Oakland anymore, see yourself at the bottom of a deep pond. Feel the serenity and silence as you look around and up at the clear, sparkling water of the surface. Any thoughts that arise are mere ripples.”

Coach Wash watched Anthony silently breath through his nose.  

“Start counting each breath in. If after five counts, you notice your mind thinking about something at home or at work, no worries, bring it back. Just let it float to the surface of the pond and dissolve, then start over. Remember each time that you do this you are building your focus skill, each time you do this you are getting one small step closer to your goal.”

The two of them sat in silence for fifteen minutes. Anthony opened his eyes and glanced over at Coach Wash.

“How do you feel Anthony?”

“I feel good, I feel relaxed, I feel focused,” Anthony replied.

“Congratulations you spent 20 minutes training your mind and your ability to focus.”

“Thanks.”

“I want you to remember Anthony that each of lives in our own internal mental world. This World can be an Amazing place that takes you to high performance or it can be a destructive place that limits who are and who we can become.”

“Our own internal World, I like that.”

“Yes and always remember it YOUR World you are the one that creates everything in that internal World. Your ability to take time every day to create and cultivate this place is what will separate you from your peers.”

Anthony nodded his head and looked into the pond.  

“Coach Wash, I see so much negativity in my life, I am surrounded by it, from what I remember its all I know. I don’t even know what an amazing World looks like.”

“What does an amazing World look like to you?”

Anthony sat quietly contemplating. “An amazing World to me is a place where people spend their time and energy building each other up. Complimenting each other and helping each other get better. That’s why I love football so much. My teammates and I are always encouraging each other and pushing each other to get better.”

“It sounds like you know exactly what an amazing World looks like.”

“Anthony you are in charge and you have the ability to transform your thoughts, your mind, and your World.”

Anthony nodded his head. “Coach Wash what does the V stand for?”

“The V?”

“The V in M.V.P. I learned the M stands for meditation, what does the V stand for?”

“Anthony we will save that for another day. Today our focus is on focus. You have already learned a very important skill today…”

“Focus.”

“That is right, focus, your ability to bring back wandering attention, over and over, and over again is the very core of who you are and who you will become.”

“I like it, I feel more in control.”

“It is important you know this because you are in control.”

The sun was starting to set and Coach Wash sat up from his stone.

"Anthony, you have put in a lot of work today, why don’t you go home and rest?"

“Ok, Coach Wash, where do you want to meet tomorrow, on the field?”

“Why don’t you come back here, I need help tearing down this bamboo fence.”

“Bamboo fence?” Anthony looked over skeptically. “What does tearing down this bamboo fence have to do with me getting faster?”

“Everything is connected Anthony, as you will soon learn.”

Anthony grabbed his backpack and Coach Wash walked him to the door. “Ok, I will see you tomorrow, I am going to go home and clean the house before my mom gets off work.”

“Good man you are, and what are you going to be thinking about when you are cleaning the house?” Coach Wash asked.

Anthony paused for a moment. “When I’m cleaning, I am going to think about cleaning." Anthony paused for a second. "Man, I never knew so much of our performance is based on our ability to take control of our mind.”

"Your mind is your most powerful weapon.  Your mind directs every physical skill you do, every movement you make and that translates into delivering high performance on the field and in life. Even when you physically practice a technique, what you’re doing is building memories of how to do it properly. The most amazing part is that you don’t need to (physically) do anything to add new memories. You just need focus on the right things." Coach Wash paused for a second to make sure this last piece of wisdom was soaked in.

“You are learning Anthony, I am proud of you.” Coach Wash nodded his head and shut the door.  

Anthony walked down the front steps, past the small fountain, and through the gate. As he walked out he noticed a dark green 1977 Caprice headed his way coming down Coach Wash's street. 

The driver stopped the car and rolled down his window. "Hey what's up Ant!" Anthony smelled a ton of weed coming from the car and recognized his older cousin.

"Hey man, what it is?"

"You want a roll with us, we are about to go get some money?"

Ant looked into the backseat noticed there was already 3 guys squeezed in, each one with a blunt in hand.

"Nah, I'm gonna walk."

His cousin looked at him for a second as if it was an answer he was not expecting.

"All good man, see you back on 77th."

As the car drove off, Anthony felt for a second like he was entering back into reality, that his time in Coach Wash's was some kind of illusion.

Then he caught himself, “I create my World, and my World is an amazing place. I created my World, and my World is an amazing place” Anthony repeated this mantra in his head the entire entire way home.  

HIGH PERFORMANCE TRAINING EXERCISE FOR YOU THE READER TO DO, HITTING THE MENTAL TRAINING CENTER.

Think of building your Focus ability in the same way you can build your physical ability by hitting the gym or the field. As in any workout, the more deliberate reps that you do the stronger your muscle becomes. The Focus skill building equivalent of doing a rep. in the gym is noticing when your mind wanders and bring it back to target. Concentration on one point of focus is the best way to build your focus. As in any sort of training, the more reps. you do the stronger you become.  

Today, spend 20 minutes sitting upright in a chair at your dining room table. Grab your high performance notebook and a candle. Light the candle and put it in front of you on the table. 

Focus on the candle. 

Spend 5 minutes focusing on the candle, every time you notice your attention wandering, put a checkmark in your notebook. 

At the end of the 5 minutes put the notebook away and spend 15 minutes staring at the candle and focusing on your breath. When you notice your mind wander, bring it back to focus. Congratulate yourself you just hit another rep. in your mental training center. 

Note from Jack - What's Up LinkedIn Family, if you enjoyed this Chapter and would like to see the next Chapter of Stealing Grit on the LinkedIn platform then please comment and share. I appreciate you. - Jack