Staying True to Myself: A Queer, Neurodivergent Woman Business Owner's Journey

Hurdles I Learned to Overcome

Ever since I was a young girl, I knew I was different. The obvious reasons — I’m left-handed, a middle child, and an only girl among three brothers. As if that wasn’t enough, it was the not-so-obvious hurdles that truly set me apart from the rest of the world. The not-so-obvious became hurdles?I had to learn to overcome. I wasn’t aware of until much later in life that these hurdles?would become my superpower.?

I was diagnosed with ADHD and ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder)? in 2015. It is now known as being neurodivergent. Symptoms that come with having ADHD and ASD are:

• unable to sit still, especially in calm or quiet surroundings
• constantly fidgeting
• unable to concentrate on tasks
• excessive physical movement
• excessive talking
• unable to wait their turn
• act without thinking
• interrupt conversations
• find it hard to understand what others are thinking or feeling
• very anxious in social situations
• find it hard to make friends or preferring to be on your own
• seem blunt, rude or not interested in others without meaning to
• find it hard to say how you feel

As a woman with ADHD, my experience is unique and often challenging. From the outside, it may not always be apparent that I have ADHD, as I can often appear organized and put together. However, internally, my mind is constantly racing, and my thoughts can quickly become scattered and overwhelming.

Studies have shown that ADHD is more commonly diagnosed in males than females, with the ratio varying between 2:1 and 9:1 depending on the population studied. However, recent research suggests that this gender gap may be due in part to underdiagnosis or misdiagnosis of ADHD in women and girls. It's been suggested that ADHD in females may be underdiagnosed or misdiagnosed because they may exhibit different symptoms than males or because their symptoms may be attributed to other conditions such as anxiety or depression.

Challenges I Face with ADHD

One of the biggest challenges I face is staying focused on tasks that I find boring or uninteresting. I struggle to prioritize and manage my time effectively, which can lead to procrastination and missed deadlines. This can be particularly frustrating when I know that I have the ability to do well, but my brain simply will not won't cooperate.

Another challenge is impulsivity. I often act before I think, which can result in impulsive decisions or actions that I later regret. I may interrupt others when they're speaking, speak too quickly or too loudly, or engage in risky behaviors without considering the consequences.

Social situations can also be difficult for me. I may struggle to pick up on social cues or understand nonverbal communication, which can make it hard to form and maintain relationships. Additionally, I may struggle to filter out distractions in busy or loud environments, making it hard to focus on conversations.

ADHD is Not My Superpower, And That's Okay

Despite these challenges, I've also learned to appreciate the unique perspective that ADHD gives me. As I said earlier, I now refer to it as my superpower. My mind is constantly buzzing with ideas and possibilities, and I'm often able to see connections and patterns that others may miss. Ways I’ve been able to use my superpower:

• Leverage hyperfocus: I have the ability to hyperfocus on tasks that interest me. I use this to my advantage by intentionally choosing tasks that I’m passionate about and allowing myself to fully immerse in them.
• Tap into creativity: ADHD is often associated with creativity and out-of-the-box thinking. With this in mind, I am able to come up with unique solutions to problems or see connections that others miss. I embrace this creativity and look for ways to apply it in my work and personal life.
• Build in structure: While ADHD can make it difficult to stick to a rigid schedule, having some structure in my day helps me stay on track. I have experimented with different systems and have found that using a planner, setting reminders, and breaking tasks down into smaller, more manageable pieces are the key to staying on track.
• Optimal level of stimulation: I often crave stimulation and struggle with boredom. I am constantly changing my environment and activities to stay engaged and focused.?
• Seek support: Having a network of like-minded women who understand and help me navigate the challenges of ADHD has been invaluable. I joined an ADHD Female Entrepreneurs Community on Facebook a few years ago and LOVE it.

Living with ADHD can be challenging, but it's also a part of who I am. With acceptance, understanding, and the right strategies in place, I'm able to navigate the world in my own unique way.

I am Queer

As if being a neurodivergent left-handed middle child only girl among three brothers weren’t enough, let’s throw in one of the biggest wrenches of all: I am queer.?

Coming to terms with my sexuality as a queer woman was a journey that took me many years. For a long time, I struggled with feelings of shame and confusion, unsure of how to reconcile my attraction to other women with the messages I had received from society and my upbringing.

It wasn't until I fully embraced my identity as a queer woman that I finally felt whole. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was living authentically and that all the pieces of myself were finally fitting together. The weight of self-doubt and self-loathing that I had carried for so long began to lift, and I felt a newfound sense of freedom and joy.

Meeting my wife was the icing on the cake. From the moment we met, I knew that she was someone special. We connected in a way that felt effortless and natural, and I felt seen and understood in a way that I had never experienced before. Being with her felt like coming home, like everything in my life had led me to that moment.

Being with my wife has brought me so much happiness and fulfillment. We've built a life together that's grounded in love, mutual respect, and a shared sense of purpose. And while we still face challenges as queer women in a world that can be hostile and unwelcoming, we face them together, with strength and resilience.

Embracing my identity as a queer woman and finding love with my wife has transformed my life in so many positive ways. I'm grateful every day for the journey that led me here, and for the sense of wholeness and belonging that I now feel.

This World Was Not Designed for People Like Me, But That’s Okay

Living as a queer neurodivergent left-handed middle child only girl among three brothers (don’t try to say that ten times fast) means constantly navigating a world that was not? designed for me. It means dealing with microaggressions, discrimination, and even violence simply because of who I am. It means constantly having to come out, over and over again, to new people and in new situations.

At the same time, being who I am has given me a deep sense of community and belonging once I found others just like me. I've found friends and chosen family in the LGBTQIA+ community who understand me in ways that others may not. I’ve also found this amazing ADHD group on Facebook I can be myself in as well as ask advice for anything ADHD-related I’m struggling with. And while the journey to self-acceptance hasn't been easy, it's also given me a deep sense of pride in who I am and what I stand for.

Being 100% me means constantly navigating a complex and ever-changing landscape. It means being both vulnerable and resilient, and learning to love myself despite a world that may not always love me back. But ultimately, it's also taught me the importance of speaking my truth, living authentically, and standing up for what I believe in.

The Only Way to Deal With Fear is to Face It

As a brand and marketing business owner, I’ve learned over the years that nobody wants to be sold to. They want real and authentic connections with the people they buy from. The more raw you are, the more attractive you are to your ideal clients. At first I was scared to share myself completely. I was worried I would lose potential clients which would also result in losing money. Fear is a very strong deterrent to success. It is wrong.?

Fears are nothing more than a state of mind. - Napoleon Hill

Fear is a natural, powerful, and primitive human response. It alerts us to the presence of danger or the threat of harm, whether that danger is physical or psychological. However, most fear is learned, developed at a young age, and influenced by our environment, and the only way to deal with fear is to face it.

Do something that scares you every day. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Today I am doing something that scares me by sharing who I am completely. I strive for transparency and hope to encourage others that vulnerability is strength. . I am no longer ashamed of who I am. I no longer fear losing friends because those that matter to me most love me no matter what.???

I Choose Who I Want to Work With

Why should we face our fears? I do not want to do business with those that fear people like me because they do not understand me. A hard lesson I’ve learned is that I will not be everybody’s cup-of-tea. I am a people pleaser, so this is a very hard reality check for me. I’ve had to walk away from potential business partners because they told me I’m deterring a large amount of business by being openly queer on my website. All I had was a picture of me and my wife. I contemplated listening to him, but it made me realize that he was wrong. I want others who are like me to know that I am their ally, their family, and someone that will not discriminate against them based on the color of their skin, their gender, their sexual orientation, or their neurodivergent brain.???

Why I Started My Business

I started my business to create a space where people like me could thrive and feel valued for their unique perspectives and contributions. As a queer neurodivergent left-handed middle child only girl among three brothers, I know firsthand the challenges of navigating a world that isn't always built for people like us. I wanted to create a business that celebrated diversity and embraced the strengths that come with different ways of thinking and being.

By creating a space where neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ individuals could feel safe and supported, I hoped to make a positive impact not only on my employees and clients, but on the world at large. I wanted to show that it's possible to build a successful business while staying true to your values and creating a culture of inclusivity and acceptance.

Through my business, I've been able to connect with so many incredible people who share my passion for creating a better world. I've seen firsthand the transformative power of a supportive community, and I'm grateful every day for the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others.

I am proud to be leading the way towards a more equitable and inclusive future.

My Mission and Vision

I am dedicated to selflessly serving others and educating them on how to work more efficiently. But beyond that, I am also committed to eliminating barriers and fostering a world that values diversity and inclusivity because it is something I face every day. I see where you’re coming from.

My vision is to create an empowering business world that delivers innovative and effective brand, marketing and automation solutions which results in enhancing my clients’ awareness, improving their messaging, and fostering long-term growth. I plan on fulfilling this vision by educating, empowering and equipping women business owners with the necessary resources, guidance and support they need to have a profitable and sustainable business.?

In Conclusion

What you have learned from me is that growing up, I often felt like something was wrong with me because I didn't always understand people, and people didn't always understand me. It wasn't until I learned about heteronormativity and neurotypicality that I realized I wasn't the problem. The world around me was built for a certain type of person, and I didn't fit that mold. But instead of trying to change myself to fit in, I decided to embrace who I am and challenge the norms that made me feel like an outsider.

As a business owner, I've taken that same mindset and applied it to my work. I don't want to sell people on a product or service; I want to empower them to work smarter and join me in creating a world that celebrates diversity and inclusion. That's why I take a selfless approach to serving my community and sharing my expertise. I know that by helping others, I'm making a difference in their lives and contributing to a larger movement of change.

But breaking down barriers isn't easy. It requires constant learning, growth, and self-reflection. It means acknowledging our own biases and challenging them. It means listening to voices that have been silenced and amplifying them. And it means creating spaces where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued.

As a queer, neurodivergent woman business owner, I know that I'm in a unique position to effect change. But I also know that I can't do it alone. That's why I'm inviting you to join me on this journey. Whether you're a fellow business owner, a member of the LGBTQ+ community (or other marginalized groups), or simply someone who wants to make a difference, I believe that together, we can create a world that celebrates diversity and inclusion.

So let's start a conversation. Let's challenge the norms that hold us back and create spaces where everyone feels welcome. Let's work smarter, not harder, and strive for change in everything we do. Because when we come together, anything is possible.