Staying Sane in an Insane World: Tools to Find Balance and Create Your Path

“We are what we repeatedly do.”

—?Aristotle

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I love that quote. It isn’t just a catchy phrase; it’s a stark reminder that we’re not set in stone regardless of how much we think we are. We have strengths and weaknesses,?interests and avoidances, sure. But when it comes to living mindfully, serenely, boldly, enjoyably, effectively … there is an incredible amount you can do.

By practicing the right things you can come to live differently and stress free. You can have a ton more joy and fruitfulness in life. You can create mindful habits that lead you in a direction that means you are proud of the life you’re living, and excited by what comes next.?

The causes of humanity's problems (given a level of survival and wealth) and can be reduced to three main causes: 1. We are not present enough, we live too much in the past and future and so miss out on Life itself,

2. We’re not mindful and aware enough so there’s too much mindless reacting (leading to negative habits, patterns and addictions)

3. We’re not able to consistently choose to have a positive, anti-fragile and resilient attitude to what life throws at us

Knowing this is a good thing because they’re all an easy fix. You’re busy, you don’t have a lot of time, and so I know finding balance can seem impossible. However! With the right and simple strategies, you indeed can learn to be present, less stressed, and more fulfilled. Here’s how.

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Mindful versus Mindless: The Difference

First and most fundamental of all, you want to be aware of what you are doing. All of the strategies below will bring more awareness into your moments, however, awareness is awareness is awareness. That is to say, turn the lights on. Tune in. Simply notice what’s happening, what’s here.

Notice now. Notice your inner state. Notice your words and your actions. Notice your drives and your defences. Notice your self-talk, what you’re drawn to, what you’re avoiding.

All good –?awareness means choice. You don’t have to like it, but you do have to understand the cards that you are playing with. Then you can play differently, if you wish.

So tune in. When you do, explore. Especially to now —?what is the nature of now itself? Simply be curious, don’t try and intellectually understand the present moment — as Alan Watts noted, the menu is not the meal — instead see if you can feel your way into it. Be aware of now.

Where are you? The first strategy is to develop a return to now. It’s always here, where are you?

Now there are some superb tools out there that make the return to now so simple, so direct. The Ishayas’ Ascension is the one I practice, teach and recommend. Get yourself on a course, you won’t regret it.

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Your “To Be” List

You write “to do” lists galore right?

One powerful tool to create an intention or a set point for you to orient yourself around is its often missed counterpart: a “To Be” list. In terms of your being, who do you want to be today? In terms of the challenges that you can expect, who do you need to be today?

Set yourself up for the day before you get into what you need to do; focus on how you want to do it. Then, in awareness, you have something to return to —?and return to it you will. Set the expectation that you will indeed fall off the wagon, and that’s okay. What’s important is that you simply climb back on with minimum recriminations and comparisons.?

You always get to go again, but only you can give yourself that chance. More on that in a minute.

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Other Strategies to Bring Mindful Awareness into Your Day

Mindfulness and awareness doesn’t just happen. It takes practice —?but that is all. Here’s a nice framework to help you remember and return, to stay present, shift your mental state, and build resilience.

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Three Steps — How to Be Present: Stop, Make Space, and Choose Again

1. Stop: Recognise when you need a pause. Many roads have a ‘rumble-strip’ on the side —?when you’re heading off the road, the strip wakes you up with a telling rumble. So know your own rumble-strip, when you’re headed off into the ditch.

A useful acronym is?HALT?— are you Hungry, Angry, Lost/Low/Lonely, or Tired? These are states that can tip you into mindlessness. Notice your “tells” — your signs that something is off.

When you catch yourself, ask, “What needs to change — the situation, or me, or both?” Recognise that often we can change ourselves much quicker than the situation, though having a quick snack or a nap might be just the ticket.?

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2. Make Space: Once you’ve stopped, step back and recalibrate. This could mean taking a moment to walk outside/another room or pausing at your desk. Breathing exercises are powerful, and here are a couple:

a). Energising Breath (10 Breaths):

Inhale deeply, filling your lungs fully, then exhale forcefully. Repeat this 10 times. On the last breath, hold the inhale for a moment. If you feel slight dizziness or tingling, that’s totally normal — just be gentle. Then as slow as you can, exhale, sinking down into the calm that is here. If you feel like it, do it again when you’re ready.

b). Relaxing Breath (4/7/8 Technique):

Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 5 (or 7, if you’re comfortable), then exhale for 8 counts. Do this for three minutes to create a lasting feeling of stillness and ease. This breath is also beautiful for helping create the relaxation perfect for drifting off to sleep. If 4/7/8 is too much, try 3/4/5.

Practice these. They take only a fraction of your day, and yet give you so much. And —?the more you practice, the quicker your state will respond. So practice!

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3. Choose Again: Life gives you countless opportunities to start fresh, but only if you give yourself permission. Start again; go again.?

In this, recognise that thoughts and feelings aren’t facts — they’re options. Choose new ways of being in the world and break negative cycles by deciding to act differently. This is the way you form new habits and conscious ways of responding to life: repetition.?

Something that will help enormously is to understand a universal truth about life: What you focus on, grows. The old “Is the glass half full or half empty?” is a powerful director for our attention and for our life. Let’s get into that.

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Appreciating Your World: The Power of an Attitude of Gratitude

It’s easy to get caught up in what’s going wrong — the injustices, the frustrations, the stress. Who doesn’t have at least something that’s not right? But focusing on what’s broken only feeds itself, forever. It really is a downward spiral. Instead, cultivate an?upward spiral?by appreciating what’s good.?

Don’t “yeah yeah” appreciation and gratitude. The problem with humanity is that we take so much for granted. We have so much, we ARE so much; we just get into a trap of focusing on what is wrong or broken, so we just don’t see it.

A foundation of appreciation and gratitude will also give you the energy, creativity and clarity to do something about the things you want to be different. Truly.?

Last thing — there’s no need to reach for the feeling of gratitude. Sometimes it’ll be there, sometimes it won’t. The critical thing is the trigger of choosing to notice the good and approve of what’s already here.?

So practice this, regardless of how small, practice it.

Here’s some ways:

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1. Appreciate Now: List three to five things you can appreciate or approve of about this moment. It might be the warmth of your coffee, the quiet before the house wakes up, or the sound of your child’s laughter.

2. Appreciate Yourself: Shift your focus from weaknesses to strengths. What went well today? What’s improving? Write three to five wins each day. Over time, this builds resilience and helps you break the cycle of self-criticism.

3. Appreciate Others: Make it a practice to consistently recognise the people around you — everyone and anyone. Say something nice, say “thank you” and why. This practice benefits both you and those you acknowledge in incredible ways.?

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You get to go first. Don’t wait, don’t be shy, be bold and head forth with appreciation.

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Watch for:

Negative thoughts and actions can spiral, pulling you down without warning. Look out for signs such as:?

Complaining or whining (even and especially when it seems everyone is doing it), gossiping (same), persistent self-criticism and/or perfectionism (choose for progress over perfection), worrying and catastrophising (I think one of the best defensive practices here is just the rebuttal of “Maybe, let’s see”).

Catch yourself, make space, and?choose again. Find something to appreciate, even if it’s just a small shift in perspective. If you can’t find positivity, at least be less negative — that’s progress too.

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Creating a New Habit of Mindful Living

There’s so much in the above. You don’t have to do all of it at once. Pick something, pick one small thing to do as consistently as you can. None of them take a huge amount of time, but they will change you, how present you are, and the way you react to life. So get involved in something!

Practice, and enjoy. Life can be so much better than you think it can. Stress and struggle doesn’t have to be a necessary part of getting things done in life. Truly. Get amongst it and see what happens. And let me know too. I’d love to help.

Go well!