Staying relevant in the face of ageism.
This week I had a post go viral where I did a little rant on ageism and how (whether it’s young or old) allowing it in your business puts you at a disadvantage. I received alot of questions from professionals sharing with me their stories. The big question being asked is “How do you stay relevant?” especially when you are feeling devalued, and like you’re being pushed aside for something that isn’t really, truly, anything to do with merit.
As a woman in technology I have worked in male dominated industries such as financial services and automotive. I know a few things about what it feels like to be dismissed based on something as arbitrary as an “ism”. In my case, sexism and also ageism, as I was really young when I started my career at the young age of 19.
If you're only recently experiencing an 'ism' for the first time (where you’ve been passed over, or pre-judged on something as inane as an “ism”) than you're actually very blessed that you're only facing this now. Yet, it doesn't matter when it happens. Whether it is something you've been experiencing from the moment you took your first steps in this world or if it’s something that you are experiencing later in life… it sucks. It’s so very difficult because you know who you are and all the gifts and talents that you want to bring to this world. To have somebody arbitrarily dismiss you is, quite simply, painful.
Within my company, one of the things that has made us strong is our diversity. We call ourselves a mini UN and proudly have every market demographic present although we are small. I’m really proud of this and it is our diversity that I believe makes us strong.
Yet, many employers don't see this and getting over the sting of a rejection can be a hard thing. When it comes to proving you're relevant the first thing you must do is to put aside and dwelling on the attitude that thinks that “Well, this isn’t fair”. It's NOT fair but trying to convince someone on that is a useless endeavor.
I learned this quickly as I came up against both ageism and sexism early on in my career. I wish I could tell you it got better as I got older but there has never been a year where I have not encountered both sexist and ageist attitudes. Not one! I remember at one point making the determination within myself that I was not going to allow these unfair attitudes to defeat me. I decided to adopt the attitude instead that said “Fine! If I have to do double the performance, and if I have to go into this fight with my arm behind my back, then so be it, and I’m still going to win”.
You need to dig deep and do this homework on yourself. You need to do some self-reflection and ask "Am I going to really allow be to just be beaten down?" You may not want to hear this, but YOU get to determine your attitude on how you face unfair bias. The greatest heroes of history decided to do something about unfair bias by fighting it head on. Against all odds, they ended up changing the world but it started with an inner resolve to not accept the status quo. That's because we all get two options when somebody is being unfair and we are being told that we can’t do certain things because of something stupid.
You can either:
- Believe them and kind of go away and say “Maybe they are right”, or
- You can fight.
If I can give you one thing today (especially for those of you who are experiencing ageism) it is to do some journaling and ask yourself a few questions to remind yourself of who you were when you were twenty years old. Write down your answers to questions such as:
- Who was I when I started out young in my career, filled with hopes and dreams and was willing to try anything and do anything.
- Do I have a chip on my shoulder?
- How hard was I willing to work?
- Did I think I "deserved" anything?
- Have I lost some of this?
The reality is that as we move through our careers we DO get chips on our shoulder and we do start to think that we deserve treatment because of all of our accomplishments. To have someone tell you that it just doesn't matter it’s not an easy pill to immediately swallow.
Next, I want to invite you to hit the internet together and start researching. If you want to provide value and be relevant than the number one thing that you can do is serve people and help them. The reason why I constantly got asked back, even if I was dismissed at first (or asked to get the coffee, even though I was showing up as the consultant which happened more than once) was because I was well educated. I discovered that the moment I opened my mouth and was educating those in the room with recent trends, market shifts, and other valuable data that they wanted to listen. I was able to provide them with value that would either help them competitively or help them not be embarrassed which is really important.
When I did this the way they viewed me changed. It no longer mattered how they were viewing me before because I was able to shift that attitude. I’m going to do a few posts on the things that I have done over the years to prove my value when people have dismissed me, some of the things that is some hard homework that I continue to do on myself and some of the things are very, just practical activities that you can do and I’ll be sharing them with you.
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6 年Age (“too young” or “too old”) is an easy reason to give for rejection—whether it be employment rejection, or simply discounting someone’s advice or opinion out of hand because of their age. Stereotypes and mis-perceptions about age and aging limit the potential of people, both young and old. Older people have more years and, therefore, more experiences. That doesn't mean they have more wisdom than someone with less years. Age is a highly individual experience. It is not possible to generalize about the skills and abilities of a younger person based on age, any more than it is possible to make assumptions about an older person. As the late, great trumpeter, Louis Armstrong, said, "The best age is the age you are."
MD, PhD Founder and Owner of Diana Barbonta Ltd , Founder and Owner of Diatrial Ltd
7 年A friend of mine has a saying: You have the right age only about 2 weeks in your life The way I never dealt with 'isms' is by not having the idea in my mind. When talking to a man - I see him as a person not as a man. Talking to a younger or older person - I hold the same idea. It might be that part of 'isms' are projections of our own self-perception on another person's mind.