Staying In Marriage For Child (I Don't Love My Husband, Should I Stay Married For My Kids?)

Staying in marriage for child - I don't love my husband, should I stay married for my kids?

Although the reasons parents separate are many and complex there are always going to be very compelling reasons for maintaining the family unit.

Barring the obvious which is that divorce is distressing for the children.

There are a few other reasons I'd like to outline in the following article.

Reason 1: Control

You see your children everyday.

They're there when you wake up. When you kiss them goodnight. At breakfast, lunch and dinnertime.

You see them every birthday and all other religious and secular events.

They're with you for every visit you make to your parents, brothers, sisters and friends.

You decide what they will eat, how they will behave, what clothes they will wear, what shows they will watch on TV. You decide how they will have their hair cut.

When you divorce you lose all of that control.

Control you may not have understood and appreciated before.

Now you are sharing control with your ex-partner, and perhaps his new girlfriend, who's idea of good parenting is perhaps the complete opposite of what you think.

You might be able to imagine how you would feel if you were faced with this reality.

But the loss of the control a mother feels entitled to is a terrible and painful blow to most women.

Reason 2: Financial

To speak of money at a time like separation or divorce might sound crass, but when your emotions are already in turmoil financial problems can be more distressing than ever.

You might be fortunate and qualify for legal aid, even better you might be fortunate and find that your ex-partner doesn't fight your attempts to gain custody.

But the odds are against that.

The truth is you might be in for months or even years (in extreme cases) of custody battles, which will bear an emotional and financial cost far beyond your worst nightmares.

Currently, many new mums are unaware how hard they generally need to fight for more than 50% care of their children.

In order to avoid the financial and legal wrangling over the children in the case of divorce, you both must be able to agree on a 'parenting plan' that suits not only the two of you, but the children as well.

Can you guarantee yourself that? Not likely.

Reason 3: Bitterness/ Resentment

After all is said and done, your separation and divorce [if applicable] will have been a torturous ordeal suffered by all involved.

You will most likely be nursing battle scars along with your children.

Your Ex will have his own scars.

No one will be left unscathed in the aftermath.

There's a good chance that your children will come after either yourself or both of you - with many unhealed hurts and accusations about the past and the decisions you've made.

There's also a good chance that all future family events will be forever marred for [b]all of you[/b] by the memory of the fights that have preceded them.

Weddings, the births of grandchildren and even the birthday parties of grandchildren. Christmas family gatherings.

The war that often follows separation can forever colour and cloud all these events - sometimes the tension is so bad that one of you is excluded.

That is a high price to pay.

In conclusion, I'd like to say that I am not necessarily against divorce. But if you are considering it please think over the points raised here.

If you must 'fight' for your rights, fight with as much dignity as you can muster.

Do not create or worsen rifts with your Ex or his new partner.

Keep the future in your mind at all times.

Work towards the goal of your future happiness even in the face of all the difficulties that divorce and separation can bring to a family.

After all is said and done, parents need to make an informed choice about what a divorce with children is going to entail.

If you can't or won't stay together for 'the sake of the kids' then do it for yourself.

It's all up to you! If you don't take this action to save your marriage, then who will?

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Keys for Happiness in Marriage

Happiness isn't a matter of chance. You'll have to work throughout the lifetime of your marriage to ensure that both of you are happy. Many married couples are clueless to this fact. However, it is important that both partners contribute to ensure their marital happiness. Here are few important keys for happiness in marriage.

Before you can be happy with someone else, it is vital that you're happy with your own life. This means that you should try to find happiness in terms of your friends, family, hobbies and work life. If your husband sees that you're happy with yourself and your life, he's far more likely to be content with you overall.

Laughter is one of the most important keys to happiness in marriage. I'm sure you've heard the saying laughter is good medicine for the soul. It is important that both of you share laughter on a regular basis. You could go to watch a funny movie together or even go to a comedy show. Sharing 'in-jokes' when you go out is also a way of keeping your marriage alive.

Many women often make the mistake of trying to change their husband. The only person that you are capable of changing is yourself. It's important for you to accept this fact. Once you do accept the fact that you can't change him, you both will be happier for it.

It's also important that you never take your husband for granted. Make sure he knows you don't take the things he does for you for granted. Tell him that you notice and appreciate the things he does. When you say it mean it. Be genuine in your praise. He'll not only appreciate hearing you say those things, he'll be more inclined to continue doing the things he knows make you happy.

One of the next keys for happiness in marriage is to always show affection for each other. Most importantly, this means physical affection. However, this doesn't always have to be in the form of sex. You can try kissing, hugging, and touching each other more in order to form a tighter bond. One of the final keys for happiness in marriage is to share fantasies with each other. Every now and then act them out. This will help bring spontaneity into the marriage, and avoid relationship spiralling into a rut.

These are just a few keys that will help you keep the happiness in your marriage. Make sure that you're happy with your own life, or you will not be able to be happy with someone else. You should also make sure that your husband knows that you don't take him for granted and that you appreciate everything he does.

There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by, Click Here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Specific things you do and say can compel your spouse to fall in love with you all over again. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause them to feel even more distant from you. If you want your spouse to fall even deeper in love with you now than when you two first married, visit this Helpful Site