Staying Kind in a Sound Bite World

My mom often had to remind me while growing up, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then…” [Leave a comment below if you do not know the rest of the saying.] I am sure the importance of that message has changed. I am not sure many have heard or put into practice that saying; at least, when viewing TV and social media. Remember when political ads were actually about the candidates views? Did those end in the 1990’s? Why are ad hominem’s now the standard for political ads? That was a pretty good accidental ad pun.

Here are some possible solutions we can all be part of. These are the Core Values of Glory Cloud Coffee Roasters:

• Honor All [our internal motto]
• Be Excellent
• Be Kind
• Appreciate
• Serve Each Other

What if we learned or re-learned how to treat people as valuable because they are human? Everyone has excellence inside them. It takes great leadership to pull it out of them. First off, you have to look for the good, creative and passionate areas inside them. Then, be kind to everyone! Don’t just be kind to those you agree with. It takes effort to appreciate all that we have, are and the true gifts of those around us. Even if appreciation is not returned, give it away and serve others. Treat them better than anybody treats you. Blow their minds with acts of kindness and service. This would reduce some of the mess I am about to describe.

The internet made a way for information and communication to spread quickly. I wonder how much knowledge we are gaining from all this information. Many things are going viral. Some of which we would be better off without. Two way communication and conversation seems to have dwindled; well, if your views differ. Comments regularly show trolls have a strategy to find everything they disagree with and throw mud at whatever they just read or watched or just clicked on so they could launch an attack. This is complaining without purpose. It does not offer a solution. It is merely gas on the fire.

Remember when Zagat gave consumers a platform to express their opinions about restaurants? Apparently it still exists. I haven’t seen it in years. Remember when Yelp was the hot new consumer rating thing? It is fading quickly because of the attack of the trolls. I am sure there are many good reviews and comments out there. Unfortunately there are also those who only desire to complain and whine. This led businesses to fight back and look for alternative ways of getting themselves positive marketing. Starting a new business has me searching for all kinds of tools to do positive online marketing without worrying about too many trolls. Some ad specialists have created entire marketing sites for cities where no consumer feedback is allowed! They fight hard to get their sites at the top of search pages so their paying business customers can have positive marketing.

Facebook started out as a way for busy college students to connect with others on campus. Then it went viral. Then it wiped out MySpace. Then it collected all our data and sold some to advertisers of whatever we were interested in. We are good at spying on others and being spied upon. We post pics that get us hired or fired. We post some things meant only for our family that can be used by predators: “Hey, I’m going on vacation far away for a week, so please go to my house and take my stuff.” Or, “Here is a pic of my child [insert name], please say hello to them when stalking my neighborhood.”

Facebook also allows all of us to express our opinions about everything. There sure are lots of rants going on. Politics, religion, social justice, activists, etc. all jump at pushing there voices in front of their friends. There is a whole lot of keyboard muscle activated. How about this? Before typing, call a friend who disagrees and have a pleasant conversation to see if you just might be the one who is off kilter.

Everything can be used for good or evil. Most people pursue doing good. Some make a mess for the rest by doing the evil we despise. Like the 1% of lawyers trying to give the rest a good name. Most people try to be safe, kind, polite, gentle. At least, make the effort. But some people just light our fires and push our buttons to set us off. It doesn’t unite our divided nation. It serves no good purpose to fling negatives, sound bites and mean memes.

And so, we got Twitter. Launch those snippets of hilarity or sarcasm. Make a statement in too few characters to really explain what you mean. Twitter wars are teaching people a new way of liable, slander, red herrings, ad hominem, vilifying, or something like that. Remember that TV news programs created sound bites so stories would fit into a tight time schedule. That is one reason I don’t want TV news to do a segment on my business. I do not believe I would approve of the 10 second sound bite they would choose from a 10 minute interview.

Well, Twitter takes that next level times 9. President Trump uses it as his personal news feed. Real news. Fake news. Who knows what is fact from opinion and agenda driven editorials? If you cannot trust your email to not be spam, why should you trust a news article that looks real to be real?

It all comes down to trust. Who do you trust? Who deserves to be trusted? Where do we look for accurate information? Is it as simple as having relationships with humans you speak with? Trust develops over time and can evaporate like water in the Mojave.

Be honest. Have integrity. Stand above the negative sound bites. Avoid accusation. Give to those who cannot give back. Serve in your community and around the globe. Be a difference maker. Don’t throw sticks and stones or words. Find the good in others. Here is my internal mantra:

“I believe in you more than you believe in you.”

Let’s get conversation going again so two way talking is polite, honest and builds up others; even where, there are disagreements. I would like to help us become the United States. Division, anger and violence accomplish nothing good. Separating over petty differences is not solving anything. Where will you begin?