Staying Human On A Digital Platform

Being on a digital platform like LinkedIn can be dehumanising and desensitising, especially when we start viewing each other as mere avatars.?

Ignoring messages or getting ghosted is now common behaviour, and few think twice about giving a no-response. It appears that many of us have forgotten that behind every account is a person trying their best to make a living.?

So ahead of World Mental Health Day, I'd like to insert a gentle reminder: Professionals have feelings too. And when we get "ghosted" in a professional setting, it might possibly affect the best of us.

This thought occurred to me when I received a no-response from a person that I was matched with during a networking event. I remembered that the organiser of that event had everyone in the room pick a notebook which had someone else’s contact details and some description of what she did at her job. We were then asked to send a message to that person we had been matched with in the room, just to say Hi and how much we would love to connect. I did not get a response. Maybe she was shy. While she accepted my connection request on LinkedIn, she made no attempts to respond to any LinkedIn or email messages for coffee. By this time, I felt like a stalker.

Being ghosted in this instance feels like rejection. How much would it cost a person to return the courtesy and write back with a: "Thank you for your message, but I'm sorry I'm not able to properly connect at the moment." After all, our circles are relatively small in Singapore and we might cross paths again.

I had similar experiences in the past when I tried to expand my social network to explore job opportunities over LinkedIn when I got retrenched at my last job 3 years ago. It was difficult for me to understand how I could get ghosted by some people who were usually extremely active over LinkedIn, sharing career management tips, mental wellness tips and mentoring tips, almost on a daily basis.

Be it actual requests or cold LinkedIn mails from recruiters, I'd make an effort to respond to anything in my inbox even if my answer is a "no". At least these people would know why. Simply declining an offer is better than a no-response, although the latter approach is an easier way out. There's enough literature to back up how detrimental it is to 'ghost' someone or be ignored.

The digital world might have its own rules of engagement and etiquette, but with increased mental health issues plaguing our society and the number of hours we spend plugged in daily, perhaps the inconvenience of saying "hello" back would go a longer way than we think.