Staying Grounded: Finding Myself Amidst Life’s Chaos

I sit here, listening to the sound of the water flowing from the spitting fish in my pond, soaking up the peace and serenity it brings me. I can feel the warmth of the sun’s rays penetrate my skin as I pray and meditate. So much is happening around me to people I love. They have a lot of grief and uncertainty in their life right now.

I think about how differently I handle these situations today. I reflect on the times when I was active in addiction and even early in recovery on how I would have reacted to the events that are happening. Today I can respond by asking God if there is anything I can do to help to them.

I remember how easily I would get caught up in everyone else’s problems, driven by my ego, which convinced me that I could fix everything for everyone. I believed I knew exactly what they needed to do and how to help them achieve it. My focus would shift entirely to them, causing me to forget everything I needed to do in my own life—like cleaning the house, watering the plants, or writing in my journal. I would neglect working on my book or simply taking the time to sit quietly and listen to the beautiful sounds of nature.

I attempted to stay out of other people’s chaos and drama, but I would inevitably get pulled right in. I believed that I had to be the fixer of everyone’s problems. This theory most likely stemmed from my childhood. I was the oldest of five children, living with our mother’s parents. Maybe this sense of responsibility came from raising my mother’s kids and assuming that role, or perhaps it was shaped by witnessing the constant conflicts in my family and not wanting that for my siblings and me. Either way, despite my efforts to prevent it, I became entangled in it, always trying to smooth things out.

I remember how my gut would be in knots when they didn’t listen to me or follow my advice. Frustration would turn to anger, leading to arguments. Back then, I had no self-control, yet I felt I should be in control of everything and everyone around me. I made decisions thinking I was protecting them, only to end up causing harm to the very people I wanted to protect. This behavior led to the breakdown of many relationships—some of which I’ve been able to mend, while others remain fractured, possibly beyond repair. My baby sister is one of the casualties of my so-called protection stunts. To this day she has not forgiven me and I do not blame her

The person I wanted to be was long gone as if she never existed. I forgot about the dreams I once had to be a doctor and writer. I wanted to own a small farm, grow vegetables, and raise livestock, and chickens to help feed my family and friends. However, between the chaos in my life and using books to escape, along with food, alcohol, and drugs to combat the turmoil I felt inside I lost myself. Sometimes I feel like I never really had myself to lose in the first place because my life was always about everyone else and their problems.

Recovery has changed that. I am learning to be there for others without losing sight of who I am or who I am becoming. I've realized that I don’t need to take it on as my problem if it something that is not happening to me. I can listen without offering unsolicited advice and, if asked, I can share my experience, strength, and hope, allowing others to make their own decisions.

The structure and principles of the 12 steps of recovery have been instrumental in helping me stay grounded. This blueprint for living encourages self-reflection, accountability, and a connection to a higher power—elements that keep me present and mindful.

Overcoming addiction was just the beginning. My journey within this framework has been a spiritual one. I am discovering a power greater than myself. Connecting with this power and deepening my relationship with myself has been the most rewarding aspect of my recovery.

Certain practices help me stay grounded and maintain the boundaries I set for myself. For example, taking a daily inventory (a reflection of my day) allows me to recognize where I’ve strayed and stayed on course, helping me learn and grow.

Though I once struggled to understand the connection between prayer and meditation, I now feel the profound impact of these practices. When I focus on the God who has been with me all my life, it is easier for me to remain grounded in the present moment. Staying centered on what I’m called to do allows me to let go of control and trust God to direct my life and those around me.

Living by the principles of this spiritual journey, I’ve learned that loving and serving others does not mean taking control of their lives. Matthew 20:28 teaches true love and service, giving without expecting anything in return. This shift has been a key element of change on my journey.

Learning that I can be there for others in their time of trials and tribulations without losing focus on my purpose of being there has been a process. I have embraced the power of listening with attention to their needs, and before I offer my experience, strength, and hope I talk to God. I ask Him to guide my thoughts, words, and any action He may want me to take.

Finding God’s will for me has been the most rewarding experience. This journey of recovery and spirituality has blessed me with knowing my purpose on earth. Being there for others is a great feeling. Being there without losing me in the process is an even greater accomplishment. It means that I can stay focused on my Higher Power and His plan for me.

It took me a while to realize that the purpose and plan are not the same but go together. The purpose is to love and serve but the plan is rolled out in many ways. This depends on who He wants me to show up for and how He wants me to help them. If I encounter someone who is in an addiction but seeking recovery God’s plan is for me to share my recovery. By sharing my story, the other person may find the hope they desire. If I meet someone looking for opportunities to create a healthy lifestyle, I am blessed to share what changed my overall wellness once I began my recovery journey.

The 3rd step—letting go of the need to control everything around me and trusting my Higher Power with complete control was far from easy for me. However, surrender became a very powerful tool for staying grounded amidst the chaos. It allowed me to release the need to be everywhere and everything to everyone at once.

There are times when a lot is happening around me and I become overwhelmed. I have learned to sit quietly, close my eyes, and turn to my Higher Power (God) for serenity. I recite the Serenity Prayer, and usually, I pray the full version. I ask Him for direction, wisdom, and strength to help me get back on track. This spiritual connection has provided the clarity and peace I need to stay in the now.

The 12-step program and my spiritual journey have been transformative, helping me stay grounded, focused, and aligned with my life's purpose. This program offers a path that anyone can follow, no matter their struggles. If you're seeking balance and trying not to lose yourself amidst life's chaos, this program might guide you toward peace and purpose, helping you stay present in the moment. Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions or simply need someone to listen. My contact information is provided below. Thank you for allowing me to share my story. I hope it inspires you to embark on your own journey of transformation.

[email protected] https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/susan-tyrrell-holisticrecovery/ https://www.instagram.com/purplelotus2016/?hl=en https://www.facebook.com/susan.sedgwicktyrrell

Wishing you a happy and serene day!

With Gratitude

Susan Tyrrell