Staying in the Center

Almost 26 years ago to the day I had a life changing experience. I was 17 years old, handcuffed, sitting in the back of a police car, sobbing, scared. I had been arrested for flight from a police officer on an ATV. Truly one of the dumbest decisions of my entire life, but one that has taught me more lessons as I have reflected back on it over time. I was a great kid, good grades, never had got in trouble with the law, Eagle Scout. When I woke up that morning, had someone said, "Shane, today you are going to get arrested for felony flight from a police officer", I would have laughed. Not in a million years, so how did I get there?

Fast forward about 9 years, I was a young submarine officer assigned to my first boat, the USS Virginia, a fast attack submarine out of Groton, CT. I was the last of the initial complement of officers assigned to the ship to bring it out off the shipyard from new construction and into the fleet. It was the first of it's class. When the ship finally left the yard, myself and the other junior officers were anxiously engaged in finishing our qualification to earn our "Submarine Dolphins", the warfare insignia worn by Submariners. A part of that qualification was to be qualified as a Surfaced Officer of the Deck, basically the guy (or gal now) that directs the steering and propulsion of the ship into and out of port on surface transits prior to submerging.

It was finally my turn to perform an "Under Instruction" watch as Surface Officer of the Deck on the way out of Groton, CT. I made my way up to the top of the sail. On the way there, another junior officer in qualifications was coming down, he had just finished his under instruction watch for bringing the ship back into port for a personnel transfer. I asked if he had any tips, he said, "Don't be a parrot of the Navigator, be your own man, have fun." Seemed simple, use my head, don't just do everything the Navigator was saying blindly, and don't hit anything. As I took my place in the bridge the ship was being turned around by tugs to start heading south out of the harbor. Finally, we were underway and I was "driving". A few minutes into the transit the Navigator called up on the radio, "the ship is 5 yards right of track and slowly opening, recommend coming left to 179 to regain track (center of channel)." I acknowledged his statement and we continued on our previous course. A couple minutes later he calls again, "Ship is 10 yards right of track, slowly opening, recommend coming left to 177 to regain track." Again, I acknowledged, remembering the wise advice of my peer, "don't be a parrot." We continue course, I had tons of good water on my right, no extremis. A minute or so passes and the Captain, who is up in the bridge for all transits into and out of ports, says, "Mr. Allen, are you going to listen to the navigator?" I explain my justification of why I hadn't, pointing to the "good" water on my right and my intentions to maintain course. The skipper "gently" told me to get back in the center of the channel and come to the left. I complied and parroted every recommendation from the Navigator after. When the watch was done, I went below and reported to the Captain to give him the status of the ship. When I was done, he coached me again, "Always stay in the center of the channel."

Fast forward now another 6 years. I am now that Navigator. I am working with a very experienced Officer of the Deck and close friend, and a trusted Captain. We are transiting through the Straits of Malacca on the way to Singapore, one of the busiest shipping lanes in all the world. Due to piracy concerns, we have a Singaporean frigate providing escort services about 1000 yards off the front of the ship. We are centered in the channel, there is no ego between the Skipper, the Officer of the Deck, and myself, we worked together to stay there, always. As the transit continues one my navigation team members reports that the frigate is slowing and we are closing range. I make a report to the Officer of the Deck and recommend contacting them on our bridge to bridge radio. I hear the communication go out, but no response from the frigate. I try as well from my radio below, no response. My team reports the ship is now 600 yards away, stopped, and turning. The Officer of the Deck has slowed to "All Stop", allowing the ship to coast. I recommend we apply reverse propulsion, they agree. "All Back Emergency" is ordered, the ship is violently shaking as water cavitates around the propulsor and the ship slows. The ship loses nearly all steering capability as reverse propulsion is used, as the rudder has little effect to steer. On the north side of the channel, several large commercial and fishing vessels are anchored and we are getting closer as the ship drifts towards them while slowing. With almost 10,000 tons, it doesn't stop on a dime, and you are at the mercy of mother nature. When all was said done, we came to stop about 50 yards from these anchored vessels and about the same from the frigate who had drifted sideways in the channel (to this day we don't know what happened on that frigate). Had we allowed ourselves to stray from the center of channel, 50 yards, we would have an entirely different outcome. These channels are huge too, 50 yards would still give you plenty of safe water, and many of ships have fallen into that peril.

Back to the 17 year old me. How am I sitting in the back of this police car? It all started with my personal vehicle being down with a bad clutch. Then both parents at work. Its 4pm outside, it's hot, I'm not riding my bike to my friends house. The ATV in the garage seems like a good alternative. I can just ride along the canal bank for most of the trip and get to my friends house. So i hop on the ATV, no helmet, shorts, flip-flops, and head through my neighborhood to the canal access rode. When I reach the dirt access road there are several large utility vehicles parked on the road doing work and blocking my path. Plus, it's illegal to drive on the access road, and these are the guys that will turn me in. I rationalize that making a turn onto the main road would be ok and I could bypass this portion of the canal and get on at a later point. After about a half mile on the main road and just about to where the canal intersects for my turn off, I make eye contact with a police officer in his cruiser travelling the opposite direction. It startles me and I forget my turn and continue straight, nowhere to go but the main road now. Too my surprise I look back over my shoulder and he hasn't turned around. I speed up and turn into a neighborhood to get my nerves back and turn around back to the canal. As I turn in, over my shoulder I can see the lights of the police car. My 17 year old mind clearly thinks, "He probably already thinks you are trying to run, might as well try." For some reason, that seemed logical. The run commenced and lasted a few miles, involved several traffic violations along the way, endangered myself, the officer, and innocent drivers. Finally the adrenaline wore off, "What are you doing idiot?" was clearly now in my head. I stopped. Several officers assisted me to the ground and I found myself at the mercy of the court system (which fortunately was merciful, though not forgiving).

It all started with very small course deviations from the center. Small decisions that didn't seem to be very consequential, but over time and compounded with each other, led to a life experience that has impacted me for years. We never wake up and say, "Todays the day, I'm gonna go do illegal activity X, or morally comprising Y, or ethically deviant Z." We allow ourselves to make small deviations from the plan, justify we are still in safe water, and when the unforeseen hits, we don't have the margin we thought we had. We have collided, run aground . . . or been arrested.

The lesson for me applies to so many aspects of my life, professionally and personal. Which standard or expectation at work am I going to allow to slip? What behavior or work ethic am I willing to accept from my team? What non-consequential event am I willing to hide from my organization (none by the way :)) to save face? Everyday we are faced with these issues, and rarely do we perform perfectly, its our nature. One day though, the compounding of these decisions, coupled with an external event that we hadn't planned for, will test whether we have stayed in the center of the channel with small course corrections over time or allowed ourselves to deviate into "safe" water. When the dust clears, where will we be? In a police car, collision with a ship, or still in the channel?

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