Staying Calm in Stressful Situations: 6 Proven Techniques

Ever feel like stress is life’s way of playing a never-ending prank on you?

One minute, you’re handling things like a pro. The next, you’re overwhelmed by an email subject line that starts with “Can you take a look at this?”

Stress doesn’t disappear—it just changes costumes.

• 7 years ago, I was stressed about figuring out how to get started in real estate investing.
• Three years ago, it was about scaling my business while juggling a mountain of responsibilities.
• Now? It’s about crafting the right words to connect with thousands of people, hoping it makes a difference in their lives.

The truth is, a stress-free life is a myth.

But here’s the good news: stress isn’t your enemy. It’s your training ground. Master it, and you can tackle anything.

Here are six techniques to help you turn stress into your secret weapon:

1. Slow Down (Seriously, You’re Not a Robot)

When you’re rushing, everything feels urgent—and that’s when mistakes happen.

Take it from Carl Lewis, the Olympic gold medalist who ran his fastest at 85% effort.

The counterintuitive trick? Slow down to speed up.

Here’s how:

• Break the cycle: When you feel rushed, pause for a deep breath or two.
• Set intentional paces: Start with small wins—focus on finishing one task at a time instead of multitasking yourself into oblivion.
• Anchor with focus phrases: Repeat mantras like “slow is smooth, smooth is fast” when you catch yourself panicking.

The world won’t end if you take a moment to regroup.

2. Breathe Like You Mean It

Stress hijacks your nervous system, but your breath can take back control.

Here are two techniques that neuroscientists swear by:

• Physiological Sigh: Two quick inhales through your nose, followed by one long exhale through your mouth. Do this three times to calm your nerves in under a minute.
• 4-7-8 Method: Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, exhale for 8 seconds. This technique can even improve sleep when done before bed.

These aren’t just “woo-woo” tactics. They work because they hack your parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for calming your body down.

Pro Tip: Pair this with an activity you already do daily—like brushing your teeth or sitting in traffic—so it becomes second nature.

3. Write It All Out (Don’t Let Your Brain Hoard Stress)

Your brain isn’t a storage unit for every worry, to-do list, or intrusive thought.

Get it out of your head and onto paper.

Try this:

• Morning Pages (by Julia Cameron): Spend 20 minutes every morning writing stream-of-consciousness. Don’t filter or organize—just let it out.
• The Stress Dump List: Before bed, write down everything weighing on your mind. Then, rank items by urgency. Often, you’ll find most aren’t as dire as they feel.

Why it works: Writing forces clarity. You can’t tackle a nebulous worry, but you can solve a concrete problem.

4. Fix Your Brain to Fix Your Stress

Let’s not sugarcoat it: your brain is the engine, and stress is the red warning light.

Here’s how to tune it up:

• Sleep: Prioritize 7-8 hours. Stress feels 10x worse when you’re sleep-deprived.
• Hydrate: Even mild dehydration can spike cortisol levels.
• Move: Exercise is a cheat code for reducing stress hormones. Even a 10-minute walk can work wonders.
• Nutrition: Cut back on sugar and processed junk. Add magnesium-rich foods like spinach, almonds, and dark chocolate.
• Screen Detox: Limit social media and doom-scrolling. Set app timers or switch to grayscale mode to curb overuse.

Pro Tip: Treat your brain like an expensive car. You wouldn’t put junk fuel in a Ferrari—so why do it to yourself?

5. Zoom Out (Perspective is Everything)

When you’re knee-deep in stress, every little problem feels like the end of the world.

But here’s a question that can save you hours of overthinking:

“Will this matter in 5 years?”

If the answer is no, don’t give it more than 5 minutes of your energy.

Here’s another:

• “What’s the worst-case scenario?” Imagine it in detail. Often, you’ll realize it’s not as catastrophic as your mind is making it seem.

Perspective isn’t just about reducing stress—it’s about reminding yourself what really matters.

6. Reframe Your Internal Dialogue

Your brain is always eavesdropping on what you say to yourself.

Change your language, and you change how you feel.

Try these reframes:

• Nervous → Excited: Your body’s stress response is nearly identical to excitement. Next time you’re “nervous,” tell yourself you’re “pumped.”
• Failure → Feedback: You didn’t fail; you learned. And learning is progress.
• Have to → Get to: Shift from obligation to opportunity. (“I get to write this email” hits differently than “I have to write this email.”)

Pro Tip: Keep a list of reframes on your phone. Use them when negative self-talk starts spiraling.

How to Make These Work Long-Term

Stress management isn’t just a “break glass in case of emergency” situation.

Here’s how to build a daily stress-defense routine:

1. Morning Reset: Start your day with 5 minutes of deep breathing or journaling.
2. Midday Check-In: Take a 10-minute break to stretch, walk, or just sit quietly.
3. Evening Wind-Down: Write out tomorrow’s to-do list and end the day with gratitude.

Think of it as preventative maintenance for your mental health.

Final Thought

Stress doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re trying.

But here’s the thing: you don’t have to go through it alone.

• Ask for help when you need it.
• Use these techniques to take the edge off.

And remember: Every challenge you face is sharpening you for the next one.

The waves won’t stop, but you can learn to surf like a pro.

Until next time,

Ben