Staying alone during lock downs can be lonely- Beat it !

A lock down has been placed all over India and many parts of the world. Thousands of people locked inside their homes, all alone. I thought that this would be a good time to share my love with those who are staying alone during this lock down, and to share my own experiences with living alone.

It was 2011, the night before Christmas. I had just moved in earlier that year to England. I had found a pleasant semi-detached house in Harrow, a two storied with a cute lawn, the perfect house which I always wanted to stay in, with floorboards that would squeak when you walked over them. Offices were closed, and all my colleagues had left for their vacations, or were with their families at home. I stepped out to local Tesco's. Very few people were out, but lots of discounts were available on wine, chocolate, and flowers. I grabbed as many of each as I could, as if I was going to throw a huge party.

All roads were empty, not even a bird or a squirrel was outside. I remembered what a contrast there was between here and India: at this time, crowded everywhere full of people going out to enjoy Christmas, while here it was almost like a curfew. It was so quiet, I could almost hear my own breathing.

I went home and opened the book my boss had given as my birthday present, "The Power of Now". I reminded myself that I needed to bring myself to my present moment and to present reality. The lawn was dark by 4pm. My husband and son had left in early December for India. My neighbours were always quiet, and I could never tell it they were home or not. Neither had I become very friendly with them yet, since I had been very busy all these months, settling at work, finding a good school for my son, and so many other things. I could not spend time to make friends with people around.

I had never experienced such a profound silence in my life before. Something in my throat suddenly appeared, a lump. I began to cry, as I decorated my living room with flowers and wine and chocolates. I felt so tired that I did not even feel like going to look out for bottle opener. I gulped down some chocolates and thought about how I would spend my winter like this. What should I do? Should I quit and go back to India? It would cost a lot of money. Where would I even go in London ? I pushed more bitter, dark chocolates into my mouth. I usually like dark chocolates, but today the chocolate somehow tasted unbearably bitter and unpleasant. I sat with tears pouring out from my eyes, wondering what I would do.

Suddenly there was some noise from my phone. It was my FaceTime ringing: my brother calling from Singapore. I picked up and heard a chorus of "Merry Christmas!" from him and his family.

"What? It’s not Christmas yet!" I said.

"So what ? It is midnight here. What are you doing? You look sad!"

"Do I? I'm reading a book, drinking wine, eating chocolate bought some flowers, and I'm spending time with myself. I'm enjoying myself."

"That's great! Where is your glass?'

"Let me get up and get it."

I poured a generous amount and wished my brother. My sister-in-law, their children, their friends, my parents, all of them spoke to me. I almost forgot that I was living alone and loved the attention I got from them each one taking turns to talk to me. I felt very loved.

While talking to them, I looked at myself and saw that my eyeliner was smudged. I went and put some fresh makeup, and felt much better.

I took the book again and I read:

"Those who have not found their true wealth, which is the radiant joy of Being and the deep, unshakeable peace that comes with it, are beggars even if they have great material wealth. They are looking outside for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security, or love, while they have a treasure within that only includes all those things but is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer."

It felt as if the author,Ekchart Tolle was talking directly to me.

Again, I heard another sound: Facetime again. My sister from Kuwait! She wished me too, and passed the phone around to all her friends and family at the party she was hosting. It almost felt like I was with them, connecting with each of them one at a time. I raised a toast to them with my wine. I truly felt as if I was enjoying a global party. Another two hours, and it would be Christmas in India too, but I remembered that my husband and son would be attending a party of their own, and that they would not be able to carry the laptop with them.

Regardless, I felt as if I had had my party, and was feeling warm and happy. I went back to read, and eventually, I fell asleep.

Suddenly, I heard a phone ringing, and woke up with a start. It was a Skype call from “Home”. How come there was anyone at home? I drowsily accepted the call, and my husband asked me why I wasn’t picking up: he’d been trying for so long! He had carried the laptop with him to the party, so that I could join them. I was now part of yet another party. I did not feel alone anymore at all.

Once my third party was over, I promised myself that I would live in the present, and that I’d always remember that I had friends and family with me, even if I was alone.

  In the age of the Internet, it’s possible to be connected even if you’re alone. If you will be alone for the next three weeks, remember the power of communication, even if it’s not face to face.

Since the breakdown, I remembered this day and I set up a birthday party using video call , hosted a family party connecting my mother with her siblings , you should see their happy faces .

I have also offered my coaching services to anyone using video from home, to cope up, also make the most of this time by being in the present moment.

Find yourself .This is the time .