Stay in Your Lane

From a little something I’m writing entitled, Meanderings of A Woman Out for a Walk.

I’ve been thinking about this phrase lately because I see the deep impact it has on people’s lives. Think about driving: who or what tells you what lane to stay in? Mostly, it’s discernment, a road sign, or an overzealous passenger. (I’ve been guilty of being that passenger.)

On a trail ride in Montana, my horse, Jigsaw, saw another horse step off the trail and decided to take me out of my lane. The guides firmly told me to turn her around and bring her back on the trail. Now, picture trying to turn a 950-pound former lead horse around when you haven’t ridden in twenty years! But I managed to listen, and we got back on the path. In my head, I kept saying, “Stay in your lane, Jigsaw. Stay in your lane!”

Some of us are constantly in the changing lane of life—that is our lane. We thrive there. Wherever we go, we seem to merge into various projects and intersect with new opportunities. Eventually, we can look back and realize that maybe this was our assignment: to bring connections across lanes. It’s not something that brings a lot of glory (or money), but it’s important nonetheless.

As a Christian, there’s a lot to be said about staying in your lane. It’s about finding your purpose, supporting others, creating unity to accomplish something bigger than you, and, most importantly, letting go of ego and being okay with your assignment. For those who are constantly changing lanes, not everyone will appreciate that you’re trying to unite and find ways to merge.

By the time you reach your mid-to-late 50s or 60s, you’ve learned a thing or two about lanes. If you’ve done anything successfully—raised productive children, kept a marriage together, built a business from scratch that lasted beyond that ominous five-year mark, failed at a business (and learned that even trying is a success), or retired from a solid career—you probably have a decent understanding of your lane.

Sadly, this is often when people start plucking you off the road. More on that later.

I firmly believe that staying in your lane is a leadership principle. But I’ve loved the off-road adventures of my life. It’s during those times—like when I had to turn that 950-pound animal around—that I’ve learned a few things:

• You’re probably going to step in a pile of doo-doo (or two).
• God’s still speaking.
• Follow the road signs (for me, that’s the Word).
• Don’t pick up hitchhikers. While there’s a lot to say about this, remember, they range from flies (in Jigsaw’s case) to people who want to ride along for the entire journey. Hitchhikers tend to have two things in common: when they get to your destination, all you’ll get is a wave goodbye, and they’re almost always famous, rich, or trying to save the world. The common thread? You’ll know more of their story than you ever asked for.

Life has a funny way of teaching you your lane. Probably the most important lesson is to keep learning and know that your value doesn’t diminish. We will all eventually have to decide when to get off the road, but talk to any active older person—they still have a lane. It may look more like a walking path than a five-lane highway, but it’s still important.

And finally, you’re going to run into a lot of people along the way who will try to tell you your lane. Give them grace, listen to them (at the level and time they take to speak into your life), use discernment (and manners), and bless them. But in the end, it’s your choice. Don’t be afraid of taking a wrong turn or stopping to help a weary traveler (or even a hitchhiker). God’s got you!

For those of us who drive in the passing lane a lot, remember: it’s always a good idea to move over when you’re being tailed by an 80,000-pound tractor-trailer or when you don’t understand the road signs. (Sometimes, it’s just not your business to be on that road.)

In the end, no one cares which lane you were in. Most of us just want to make a positive impact and clean up some litter along the way. People care about the legacy you leave. And the biggest way to make an impact on the road is through love. Look up and around—are you doing your best to do just that?

Safe travels!