"Stay at Home" orders create a hairy problem that is a blast from the past

By Brian Donlon

Get ready for that ‘70s show.

No, not the hilarious sitcom that aired on Fox from 1998 to 2006 and gave the world Ashton Kutcher, Mila Kunis and Topher Grace. This ‘70s show is a reality show – our reality.

One of the many businesses closed during the coronavirus shut down are barbershops, hair salons or whatever you call where you go to get your top trimmed.

Long hair is coming back! But by default, not by design

So get ready for shags, hair over the ears and ponytails down to the waist. Throw on a pair of bell-bottoms and some polyester and you’ll be all set for a sensational 70s redux in the 21st century.

Some long haired-types from Pace University - The College of White Plains back when "Jaws" was at the movies, the Bee Gees ruled the dance floor and haircuts were an afterthought

The “hair” problem has created a cottage industry on YouTube where tutorials on how to cut your own hair are rampant.

On Amazon, the best-selling Wahl Color Pro Cordless Rechargeable Hair Clipper & Trimmer is “Currently unavailable” and they don’t know when the do-it-yourself device will be back in stock. Even the non-best selling hair trimmers are on backorder

In the state of Washington, Gov. Jay Inslee’s daily coronavirus briefings had the former presidential candidate appearing nicely coifed. It created quite a stir.

Was this abuse of power? Was he violating his own stay at home order? Was he sneaking out to a salon? Was he smuggling a stylist into the governor’s mansion?

No, it was none of the above. It was his wife.

Hair establishments have been deemed non-essential. Tell that to all the women who have lost their highlights or the men who can’t use their “product” anymore for that special look.

So it’s time to crank up some Barry White or America or the Bee Gees. The 70s are back.

It's easy to join the craze.

Looking for something to stream? It’s as good a time as any to check out “Hair” released in 1979 and starring Treat Williams, John Savage and a pre-National Lampoon’s “Vacation” Beverly D'Angelo.

Hey, let the sunshine in, baby. 

If you go to the gas station, it is like the 70s. Make the cost of living differentials and the price at the pump today has not been this cheap since the Ford Pinto and AMC Gremlin were on the roads. Of course, there is nowhere really to go except the supermarket

There are some parts of the ‘70s, you really don’t want to re-visit. Back on Jan 1, 1975 the unemployment rate was 8.1%. Most economists think given the financial impact of the pandemic we would be lucky to get to that number by New Year’s Day 2021.

And could you imagine “staying in place” with only six television channels to watch. Or would you like the “Princess Phone” to replace your smartphone?

The classic "Princess" phone -- always prettier in pink

It has been a difficult two months watching the numbers rise of people contracting the disease and worse, people dying from it. The country has suffered. Yet, if American history demonstrates one undeniable fact. We are resilient.

We’ll be back. Just look at all the comebacks from the 70s: “Charlie’s Angels” a small screen experiment in sexy but silly TV, returned as a blockbuster movie franchise. “Westworld” a pretty low-tech sci-fi affair on the big screen in 1973 has returned as an eye-popping, mind-blowing sophisticated HBO series.

Even tie-dye has mounted a resurgence. Says me? No. Says style deity Harper’s Bazaar. 

And if you don’t believe some highfalutin fashionista glossy gazette, then look no further than that bastion of main street America: Starbucks. The swirled shirt became a frenzied frappe last summer.

Need more proof?

The soft-rock of the ‘70s is back and bigger than ever now under the nom-de-plume, “Yacht Rock.” It has its own channels on Sirius XM and Spotify. Plus, an outfit called the Yacht Rock Revue has been so popular on tour with covers from those days gone by, they were asked to record a new album of original material.

The ‘70s are back – at least for a little while.

And we’ll be back too -- with even more staying power.

Now go get a haircut!