Enjoy Yourself This Holiday

This holiday season is different. You might be returning home for the first time since the onset of the pandemic, or else time with family isn't anything new because of the onset of the pandemic. Maybe you've invited everyone to descend upon your home, or your going to someone else's place and worried about feeling out of your element. Whatever your plans, here are some tips to keep you grounded, sane and yes, even unruffled!

1.?Get corny, not cranky.?Pull out the board games. Set up a puzzle table. Spread out the magazines. Take a walk. Activities are the best way to get into family fun and away?from interpersonal stress. This might feel forced or out of character at first; It might cause some noise and you might be called out for being "corny", but just remember not everyone has to participate.

• Puzzles?equalize the generations and bystanders are welcome.?Just remember to give yourself 20 minutes to set the puzzle up. It's best to turn all the pieces over and get the sides in a pile that way when you call everyone to the table, there are some QUICK WINS!!!
• Magazines?are a good distraction.?When things get tense,??you can just?subtly "check-out" with an intellectual article in The New Yorker, or read a hilarious celebrity story out loud from People, or pull a kid over to do a brainteaser in a Highlight.
• ?Throw on your coat and take a walk.?Get a breath of fresh air. Walk off the dessert.

2.?Be AT your best (instead of on your best behavior):?At first blush, these two points might read the same. But with just a little examination, you can see the subtle differences.

Being at your best is a natural, internal state, it's not a performance. It's about meeting your own expectations, knowing your own limitations, drawing on your own energy. Listen to that internal voice that keeps you true to your own goals regardless of what's going on around you.

Whereas being ON your best behavior is short-lived and defined by others. It's a false state that is externally driven. When people are on their best behavior they are thinking about meeting external expectations. It often causes you to second guess yourself. You might tend to be worried you're going to slip up which would leave you open to criticism or judgment.

3.?Find your smile.?The holidays are extenuating circumstances, full of external pressures, idealistic expectations, hectic calendars, and forced interactions. These are the real culprits for why you're impatient and your nerves are shot. Don't let your family relationships take the heat for being the source of conflict rather recognize the huge impact of external pressures. Let this thinking help you keep your cool during the holidays, because without time to resolve conflict, we tend to?bring the conflict back to next year's celebration. Ugh! Find your smile for those you love.

Okay. There you have it...3 tips for surviving the holiday that work! They work because you are responsible for your own actions; you determine your effort, and you set your mindset. Get psyched for the holidays 'cause the capacity to improve your circumstances is in your hands.

Enjoy yourself this holiday season!!!

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Meet Dr. Stacy Feiner

Dr. Stacy Feiner is a nationally recognized innovative psychologist known for leveling-up the output of elite performers and the complex systems they lead. Using the lens of psychology, Dr. Feiner taps the invisible dynamics that make people tick and groups click. In your ear and at your side, Dr. Feiner coaches you to achieve the results you want in all areas of your life. www.stacyfeiner.com