STAY AWAY FROM THE BOTTOM BY LOOKING UP!

Studies in UK alone shows that 1 out of 4 person suffer from mental illness or depression. It’s 2019 and yet our society is not open to talks about mental health, depression and is unaware or is knowingly ignoring its adverse effect on an individual. Your family member, your close friend or a colleague sitting right next to you might be just hanging in there, struggling and being consumed in depression but the fear of ’what other people will think’ keeps them away from opening up and you might never know. But who cares? People really care about Deepika Padukone when she shares her story of depression and for some good, they don’t shame her calling weak but can you imagine yourself being up there?

Hats-off to Deepika for having the courage to open up in the pubic and taking the initiative in starting a foundation to create an awareness on mental health-‘The Live Love Laugh Foundation'.

Depression is not being sad for two hours because you got scolded for something or you are having the ‘mood swings’ for the week (PMS is also considered under depression but it’s different). It's beyond that. Its being on the brink of tears just because something dropped from your hand and you fall on the floor to cry for it..! It's feeling comfort in not taking a shower for weeks because you are least motivated and have no energy in you since it has been days, you had some food.

This is real and this is what depression is. Only people who have gone through this will know how miserable they are during this phase. It is being one extreme to the other. Either you are at the peak of happiness trying hard to forget how miserable things are or so down and low that you doubt if the world will have colour again.

Our society depicts men as heroes,as a symbol of strength and ‘real men don’t cry.’ But emotions doesn’t care for your gender. It doesn’t care if you are boy/girl, man/woman. You are human and you are capable of getting hurt. Your gender does not define how you act and fit into the society. You can have parents who love you unconditionally and might have friends who stay through thick and thin but bad things can happen to plant a seed for you to carry for life.

Anger, pain,sorrow and sadness are part of life-accept and face the demons. Instead of living in the shadow of these demons, step in-front of it and accept it as a part of you or it will eat you from inside out.

Depression is not easy nor is there a quick fix. Its serious and ugly. It affects not just you but so many people around you without you even knowing and it doesn’t just disappear.

Some days are too good, infact great and you feel like the demons have finally vanished and you feel better but the something very small happens, even a look from someone or a ‘memory’ turn you into a mess.

For so long you hide your pain, your confusions, your depression and you become good at pretending to be ‘okay’ with everything life throws at you. But in the inside, you know you need help and asking for it just makes you feel like a burden. Your friends and family encourage you to talk to them but how can you do that when it's 3 am in the morning? All you can think is, they would be better off without you and you would rather break your own heart than keep hurting them. You have these suicidal thoughts popping up. You struggle with the thoughts of killing yourself and you sought any sort of comfort just short of suicide. You don't want to end your life but pain. You start finding comfort in darkness and get lost in the solitude you have been battling inside.

As Radhika Apte’s in her Netflix series says, “You don’t hurt the people you love, intentionally you don't. But you always hurt people you love. You can’t hurt people you don’t love.”

“Cheer up”, becomes the worst two words anyone says to you. Those two words trigger horrible thoughts and you beat yourself for not hiding how you feel, from everyone around you. Although you want everyone to know how you feel, you don't dare to tell them and eventually you isolate yourself in your room because no contact means nothing can go wrong, right?

Everyone will tell you that things will get better and you imagine or dream of when it will be...! Anything that is said to you, you manage to turn it into a bad thing. You want to be free of meds, doctors, counsellors, hospitals and negative thoughts. You feel as if you have lost yourself and will never be the same again. You have no motivation to do anything because you can't see a future of yourselves.

Scariest thing about the whole recovery process is that the only person who can help you is you.

Your worst enemy is literally you..!!

Stop pretending that you are ‘fine’. Admit it that you are hurt. Figure out and feel the emptiness. It’s okay to be weak, grieve and to cry. Stop pretending. And after that, Move on..!!

Leave the pain for the tears you have shed and savored. Let the memories remain but not the pain, pretension and heart aches. With time you will be healed. If you haven’t been through these things, you will never know that the most important thing in life is, to be happy.

If I was to give an advice to people who are struggling, it will be, to not suffer in silence.There are people around you who have been through whatever you are experiencing. Open up-you never know from where does help come from.

And also, take a break from social media where people ‘pretend to be happy’ and you end up in constant comparison.

Sometimes, a little push is needed to get the ball rolling and more importantly never let your depressed mind convince you, you can't date..!!

If you are going through a horribly bad day, just watch this Ad from Coca-cola

“Bade Bade shehron mein aisi choti choti baatein hoti rehti hain”