Status Update

There are moments in our lives that are pivotal turning points—when we are faced with one outcome or choice that could completely alter the course of our lives. A domino effect. These moments seem like they will define us, like their result will either be triumph or complete defeat. I've faced many in my life, but one in particular showed me a new perspective.

My dad graduated from The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill in 1982. I grew up hearing stories about him sleeping outside for Duke tickets, passing Michael Jordan in his dorm hallways and traveling to New Orleans, watching the infamous last-minute steal that turned their team into champions in 1982.

When I was 10, my family attended a UNC basketball game. Sitting in the Dean Dome, I made up my mind that day that I wanted to go to school there.

After letting my parents in on this epiphany, my dad replied, “You’re going to have to work hard, but you can do anything you set your mind to.”

I can do anything I set my mind to. That has been something that’s propelled me throughout every season of life—a belief in the process of hard work. Trusting that if you truly give your all to something, you can accomplish it. And, if you don’t, it’s for a reason. Sometimes that reason may not make sense in the moment—but it will. It always, somehow, does.

So, throughout my time at New Bern High School , I worked hard. I joined clubs, I became the President of two. I founded a literary magazine, I made the Principal's list. I took hard classes and stayed after school for help. I swam on the swim team for all four years. I strived to reach that goal, just to press one button and see confetti pop up on a screen.

One day, I'd tell myself, It'll all be worth it.

Despite all of the time and mental energy I’d put into reaching that goal, I was still a bit shocked when I actually accomplished it.?

This was one of those domino effect moments. 8 years of hard work came down to one “status update'' that I simply had to click.?

I’ve been thinking about moments like those for a while. Oftentimes we let our fate build into a tower of fear, harping on the what ifs and the millions of possible results. But what about clicking it? We always, eventually, have to click it.

Some people put it off. I bet there’s a handful of people who would’ve let that status update sit there for a day or two. Sometimes we allow the fear of reality to paralyze us—I’ve done it a few times.

Some people don’t even think, they just click. They want to get it over with, fly past it, deal with the outcome, and start planning accordingly. Call it confidence, gumption, indifference—whatever it is, I think we all need a little bit of it.

And then there’s what I did. I remember sitting there in my living room, home alone on a normal, rainy, cold, Wednesday afternoon in January, seeing that status update staring back at me like it was acutely aware of its power. My heart was pounding; I was fighting every urge to allow it to paralyze me, or to rush through the moment. I wanted to do the moment right, but I didn’t exactly know how.?

It felt right to take a deep breath, so I did. Then I whispered a reminder:

No matter what happens, I’m going to be okay.?

Every ounce of anxiety in me at that moment needed to believe that. I needed to be reminded that actually, one click, one status update, had no power over me.?

So, I clicked it.?

And the world kept spinning.

On the other side of that click was my dream, and I've watched four years at UNC turn to three and now two. I can’t imagine what my life would look like if I hadn’t been met with confetti that day, but somehow, I’m confident it would’ve been just as good, and I would’ve felt just as much peace as I do now.?

What if, for once, it wasn't about the moment after we click—but the moment before?

Each "status update" we face feels like it holds the weight of the world—but really, it's just a moment. We can let it break us, cripple us, or we can choose to believe that our path will?straighten itself—even if we off-road a bit. There’s an interesting juxtaposition between knowing the weight of the choices and verdicts we will face throughout our lives, yet still not letting that reality paralyze us.

So whatever it may be, don’t be afraid to face it—but always pause before you do. Put the moment into perspective, strip it of its power, and then,

click.

I promise, the world won't stop spinning.