Building the Buyer Relationship

In sales, competence is highly valued by prospective customers — but it is usually measured last. Love the customer’s problem first, not your solution.

Highly-skilled founders often make the fatal error of focusing initial discussions with sales prospects on product capabilities, the technology, or jumping directly into problem-solving mode. This is the founder's comfort zone. If you are successful at impressing someone with your knowledge, product capabilities, and problem-solving skills, they will want to buy from you, right? Not exactly. This is not how most humans are wired. The result is predictable — a highly-engaged initial meeting (or two) packed with facts, then crickets.

Why do so many prospects go from totally interested…to totally unresponsive? "Selling backwards" is perhaps one of the biggest reasons behind the all-too-familiar phenomenon in sales known as "ghosting." It's no mystery that top-of-the-funnel sales activity — taking the hand-off from the BDR, and determining fit and interest with a new prospect — is by far the most fragile and failure-ridden stage of the sales process.

Seasoned sales professionals eventually learn an important lesson: prospective customers are often reluctant to give you their attention, let alone work with you to solve their problem, until credibility and trust is established. Who are you? Why should I listen to you? Do you truly understand my need and pain? Do you have my best interests in mind? Are you here to help, or are you just trying to sell me something? All of these are basic concerns, and have nothing to do with competence or product capabilities.

Step 1 — Establish Credibility (the "Who")

People tend to pay close attention to others who have a genuine affinity with their problem or need. Professor Hugh Herr is Director of the Biomechatronics Group at the MIT Media Lab — that focuses on breakthrough advances in bionic limbs for greater mobility. Professor Herr is a double-amputee himself, and personally tests all the new devices. While it is certainly possible for someone with similar credentials and two legs to perform the same job, whose motivation and personal insights are you more likely to listen to?

What is your “I fully understand and empathize with your need” founder story that resonates with potential customers? Can you share common experiences? Have you solved similar needs for other customers who are just like them? Birds of a feather flock together. Help the prospect recognize “they are not alone,” and that you truly understand their special circumstances and needs.?

Step 2 — Build Trust

Building trust — the customer’s belief that you have their best interests in mind — can be more challenging to establish. They already know you are here to sell them something, so a natural skepticism over your intentions is expected, and the first concern that you need to overcome. In the movie The Hunt for Red October, Captain Ramius had the right idea: close the distance, before the torpedo can arm itself. "Combat tactics, Mr. Ryan."

When you engage someone for the first time, disarm their sales bias by acknowledging your intentions, and sharing your sales mindset: “My job is to find businesses that are a great fit with our solution. If it turns out you are not a good fit, I will be the first one to raise my hand and, if I can, point you in better direction.” Making a genuine statement of your intentions and values resonates with most people. You are claiming they can trust you, but in not so many words.

While expressing your intentions and values is helpful, trust is forged over time through small interactions and behaviors. Here are a few suggestions to help build trust with a prospective customer:

• Be candid. Do not tell people what they want to hear. It is perfectly OK to challenge someone's assumptions or beliefs, provided you do so with consideration. Tell prospective customers what you really think. Take a risk to earn trust.
• Be conservative with your assertions. You very likely do not have "the whole story." Hyperbole only creates skepticism, increases risk, and undermines trust. Genuine curiosity to learn more, and cautious optimism help build trust.
• No product is perfect. Have the confidence to share what your product cannot do for the customer. This will build trust and reinforce confidence in what your product can do well. "Your needs are X, Y, and Z — we do X really well."
• Be reliable, and never drop the ball. Always follow-up on things you say you are going to do, to help the customer move toward a decision. People with a low say-to-do ratio do poorly in sales.

You know that trust is forming with a prospective customer, when their demeanor goes from skeptical and challenging, to open and curious, and the general tone of your conversation shifts from “convince me” to “let’s solve this problem together.” Building credibility and trust form the foundation of a mutually-beneficial buyer-seller relationship. If you are successful, many prospective customers will be open (even eager) to learn about your product offering.

Step 3 — Establish Value (the "Why")

When the conversation shifts to your product, do not talk about features or capabilities. People do not buy AI; they buy what AI can do for them. Start by emphasizing the benefits that your product affords the buyer — the "Why" not the “How”. What are the returns that a customer can expect when doing business with you? How does your product improve their job function... and their business overall? Contrast "where they are now" with "where they want to be," and how your product helps them accomplish their goals and make them more successful. Paint a picture of why they should care. Sharing anecdotes of how other similar customers of yours have benefited, is much more convincing than assertions or facts.

Value is especially important to establish, prior to answering the question "What is this going to cost us?" People will not spend one dollar on something with no value attached, but they will invest $1M when they understand and believe in the commensurate value.

Step 4 — Fix the Problem (the "How")

Value is established when you hear something like, “That’s great… how do you do this?” The door is now open to convince the prospect that your product and team are capable and up to the task. We finally arrive at the founder comfort zone in the sales conversation: "competence." Now you can discuss all the cool and differentiated capabilities of your product, and how your team goes above and beyond to make sure that your customers are successful.

Attempting to build a relationship backwards, by jumping directly into product, technology, or problem-solving mode, can be viewed as dismissive of people’s situation and unique circumstances. Despite your best intentions, attempting to fix someone’s problems before establishing credibility and expressing your values can be perceived as insulting or aggressive.

In sales, your strengths to solve someone’s problem become an asset only after people are convinced that you truly understand their situation, and have their best interests in mind. Slow down. If there is a real need, the problem is not going away. Avoid selling backwards. Sell yourself and your intentions first, then your value — and finally, your awesome product and team capabilities. Building relationships with prospective customers is a lot like pulling out your handkerchief to wipe your nose and your glasses — sequence matters.

You will discover that by taking this approach, far fewer prospects will ghost you following your first conversation or two. You may not end up selling anything because it's not a good fit, but adding a new trusted connection to your network is always a positive outcome!