Startup Ordeals: How I Endured the Fall & Emerged Stronger. Part 3

Thanks for still being there following my story. This is the 3rd and final chapter, which, as anticipated in the title, does have a good ending! Let's retake it where we left off.

The first steps for rebuilding

I had hit rock bottom, but admitting I needed help and seeking support marked the start of my recovery, even though the path ahead wouldn't be easy.

My journey began with a visit to my family doctor. Sharing my story with her felt both strange and liberating. She asked me important questions and, in her efficient manner, laid out the steps I needed to take. It was clear that I displayed symptoms of deep depression, so she recommended seeing a psychiatrist for a thorough evaluation and diagnosis. However, she warned me that treating mental health issues takes time, so to prevent further decline, she suggested starting with medication to address my sleep deprivation, anxiety attacks, and lack of interest and motivation.

Normally, I'm hesitant to take any drugs, even for a headache. However, something told me that now wasn't the time to be rebellious, so I followed her advice and began the medication while also seeking a referral to a psychiatrist.

A couple of weeks later, I had my first psychiatry consultation, which I found intriguing. Though I was nervous, I believed this would help me. The doctor patiently listened to my story for nearly an hour, taking notes and occasionally pausing to seek clarification. Finally, it was his turn to speak.

Quietly, he asked, "What do you expect from me?" Being new to this experience, I had no idea how it was supposed to work. I assumed he, as the expert, would guide me on how to get better and return to being a normal person. So, naively, I replied, "I expect you to provide advice and tools to overcome this depression and get back to my normal self."

He looked at me seriously and his response wasn't what I anticipated. He explained that, unfortunately, the Austrian health system is flawed, and his only role was to prescribe medication. If I wanted someone to talk to or help me manage my situation, I'd need to seek another type of doctor, such as a psychologist or therapist, and pay for it myself.

I felt incredibly disappointed. I had entered that doctor's office with hope, but left empty-handed. Was it all a waste of time? Additionally, considering how much we pay for health insurance in Austria, I expected more than just a prescription for antidepressants and a pat on the back. However, I knew it wasn't the doctor's fault, and I lacked the energy to complain. So, I agreed to continue with the medication until I felt better, and scheduled a follow-up appointment a few weeks later.

Positive action doesn't always feel positive.

In the days that followed, I found myself trying to put my mind back together, but progress was slower than I had hoped. Although the antidepressants were starting to take effect, and I was getting a few more hours of sleep each night, I still experienced ups and downs.

On the good days, when I could think clearly without being overwhelmed by panic, I reminded myself that I had the strength to confront these challenges head-on. I recognized that I was in the midst of a process that required time and extensive effort on my part. I simply needed to persevere, taking deep breaths, practicing meditation, and directing my energy towards the positive aspects.

Unfortunately, there were still moments when I would fall apart, succumbing to fear and anger. Everything would turn bleak, and I would feel lost and hopeless once again.

This rollercoaster of emotions continued for months. I attempted to use the moments of clarity to reflect on what had happened and chart a new course for my life, but my thoughts would quickly become overwhelmed by the complexity and drama of my situation. Remember? My project had been pronounced dead several months back and although my team and I maintained some visible presence, we weren't actively working on it.

Despite my efforts, it seemed like I was going nowhere. That's when I made the decision to start openly talking about what I was going through. I was certain that I wasn't the first person to experience such hardships, so there had to be someone out there, besides my therapists, who could offer assistance.

Initially, it wasn't easy to open up to my team, friends, and family, given my mental state. However, when I did, I realized how much they cared and sympathised. I had numerous coffee chats, both in person and virtually, with friends, family, mentors and fellow entrepreneurs ( Alexis del Río , Joyce Power , Judit Lorincz , and Lea Krebs amongst others have been a constant shoulder to lean on). Some conversations were comforting and supportive, while others challenged me to my core. I needed both.

They encouraged me to persist, not to give up, and to remember my past accomplishments and the lessons I could learn from my mistakes. They reminded me to focus on the basics and take care of myself. They also suggested that I write down and share my experiences as a form of self-therapy and to help others, which is why you are reading this today.

It was a humbling experience that provided me with new perspectives and renewed energy to keep moving forward.

Rebuilding from the ground up.

I embraced the opportunity for a fresh start, armed with the valuable lessons I was learning.

Following the advice of one of my mentors, Yolanda Molares Montero , I took some time away from everything and everyone to reflect, just with my myself, my thoughts and a notepad.

After careful consideration, I made the significant decision not to give up on my entrepreneurial career, or at least not just yet.

I would start a new project, still under the Green Cloud Nine name and Spirit but with a new and more personal concept. This time, I wanted to approach things very differently, I wanted to take it slow, step by step, without external dependencies that could jeopardize my progress. I also wanted to have some fun along the way, recovering the lost joy and excitement of being a founder.

With each step forward, I realised how much I had grown in the past few years. Tasks that used to take me months to complete, I could now finish in just a few days. I became capable of managing things on my own, which previously required outsourcing and additional expenses. This progress greatly contributed to the gradual restoration of my self-esteem.

My network was also helping strongly with ideas, tips, moral support...I was happy to see that it was still there listening and responding. Actually, I want to share a curious anecdote to illustrate the power of support systems. Despite my absence from professional networks and social media for many months, I continued to receive numerous requests and invitations for collaborations, programs, and startup program opportunities. However, the highlight came one morning when I discovered a notification on LinkedIn nominating me as one of the Top Women in the Startup ecosystem in Austria . Can you believe it? I truly appreciated the recognition, but above all, I found irony in the situation.

Moving Forward with Renewed Determination and Valuable Lessons Learned

While the wounds may still be healing, I am proud to say that I stand tall today, determined to face new challenges and create a success story fueled by the valuable lessons I've learned and, of course my passion. I refuse to let this nightmare define me or diminish my entrepreneurial spirit.

The setback I experienced was devastating and tested my durability, mental strength, and belief in myself. However, I know now that it was not the end of my journey. I have emerged from it stronger, armed with newfound wisdom and an unwavering determination to succeed.

“Whenever life hammers you, bounce back wiht a smile” - Invajy

This experience taught me the significance of resilience, adaptability, and the importance of surrounding myself with the right people.

The obstacles I faced ultimately became catalysts for positive change and further fueled my determination to succeed on my own terms. If nothing else, I learned to carefully select partners who align with my values and share my commitment to excellence.

Today, I look back at those challenging times as transformative chapters in my life. While I can't claim that I am completely out of the woods emotionally or mentally, and I haven't achieved success with my project just yet, the difficulties have undoubtedly shaped me into a stronger, more resilient individual who is better equipped to confront future challenges.

I am grateful for the lessons I've learned and the people whose support has carried me through, reminding me that setbacks are not the end of the road but opportunities for growth and eventual triumph.

I am particularly thankful to my fiance Roland Laucher who has being enduring this ordeal with me day after day. I know it was not easy for you either, but you are still holding my hand and I am smiling again! ??