Startup founders: integrate your work + personal life

The topic of work / life balance comes up often in startup circles. People often recommend ways to divide different aspects such as people, time and space. I recently shared a contrarian perspective and wanted to expand on it. As a repeat founder who has also worked in more traditional big tech jobs, I would encourage startup founders to integrate rather than divide their life.

The biggest fallacy in "work / life balance" is that it implies that your work is not part of your life. That may be true in some cases -- perhaps doing mundane, repetitive jobs in isolation from others. But I'd argue that it is definitely not the case for a majority of workers -- and even less so for startup founders.

For a majority of people, work is not just a significant part of the time we spend awake, but also a source of social interaction, camaraderie and in many cases friendship. While dating someone at work is complicated, many long-lasting couples have been formed between coworkers. Work can also be a source of pride and self-realization, and in some cases a big part of our identity; in some circles, the first question after meeting someone is "What do you do?"

For startup founders, their work and more generally the company they started are intertwined with the person. Founders will the company into existence, and must continue to do so for many years to come. Moreover, startup founders have a greater responsibility towards their teams, their customers, their investors and their own families.

Especially during an early stage, if the founders are not pushing the company forward every day, it will almost certainly die. The level of commitment required to keep it going is not something that can be turned on at 9:00 AM and off at 5:00 PM. On the flip side, the so-called hustle culture espoused by online personalities, is not something to be emulated. You know the spiel: wake up at 3:00 AM, run a a marathon, take an ice bath, meditate while balancing the whole boy on their pinky, close a $10M deal before 8:00 AM, go to meetings and events, then email the team at 11:30 PM before going to bed for a few hours. This doesn't work.

The best founders, and many of the best people that surround them, are able to do something special: for them, it's not "just work". Work is fulfilling, fascinating, challenging, engaging, frustrating, invigorating, scary and exhilarating all at once. It's not so much that they can't stop thinking about work: they just don't want to.

Rather than create arbitrary rules, like specific times of day when work is "alllowed" or even specific places, like a unique part of the house that is the only place where work is aloud, they adapt to the circumstances and integrate the various aspects of their life.

Out on a date or at the playground with a child? Focus on that. But if you get back and want to check your email before going to bed, that's OK, too. Need to take your mother to a medical appointment in the morning? Do it -- but maybe you shoot a short Slack message while you wait for the appointment to be over. Had a difficult conversation with a customer's procurement team and need to clear you head? Go for a run or (gasp!) catch half an episode of your favorite series on Netflix... then go back and push that contract across the finish line.

As an employer, extending to people the flexibility to take care of their work and non-work responsibilities just makes sense. Especially in remote work situations, but also if there's office-based work, people may need to look after a loved one, run an errand or just buy groceries to make a home-cooked meal, even if it's in the middle of their day. They can always continue their work when they have the time and can lend their attention to it.

We have all heard about the need for passion at work; it's what is expected of employees and founders alike. But what does it actually mean? While it may be hard to define, you can definitely tell when someone has it. It's like a torch burning inside them that illuminates the way -- for themselves and others around them. And it doesn't go off.

So here's one piece of advice for startup founders. Don't worry so much about work/life balance; instead, create a life that integrates all aspects of your life. Make space for what's important for you and your loved ones, whether it's taking your children to school, cooking for friends or playing a sport, and interleave it seamlessly with your work, your team, your customers. Ignite the flame inside you.

Then, feed the flame.