#Startsomethinggood - Part 2 | Sleeping rough to raise funds for Stepping Stone House

This isn’t camping.

On 30 October 2020 I slept in Mrs. Macquarie’s Chair parklands for the night to raise awareness and funds for Stepping Stone House as part of their #SleepUndertheStars initiative. 

What is the Stepping Stone House and the #SleepUndertheStars initiative? 

Stepping Stone House is a not-for-profit in Sydney started in 1989 that provides services to vulnerable teens aged 12-24. That includes housing, education, resources, and experiences to guide pathways out of homelessness individuals and into self-sufficient adults with brighter future pathways. 

Rather than many short term relief programs, Stepping Stone House prefers to provide longer-term services to the youths they support. That provides the group outcomes that have proven to be successful for over 450 individuals to date.

As part of their fundraising efforts, they run an event called ‘Sleep Under the Stars’. Usually, the event is more of a group activity that some Aussies may have seen in the media or on their social feed from time to time. Previously teams would bring their tents and create a bit of fundraising buzz under Sydney’ Harbour Bridge to support the annual event.

But, this is 2020. It went virtual.

This year, teams, families, and individuals were encouraged to find their own way to support and raise funds by sleeping in their backyards, on the couch, in homemade forts in their lounges, or however they wanted for the night.

Their target was $560K to permanently house 17 young teens for 1 year.

Why I got involved

I’ve committed to a 90 day professional and personal goal to end 2020 led by boss and friend, Taz Bareham. My personal goal is to commit 1% of my time to give back, particularly to displaced people. I recently wrote an article as part of that pledge that you can read here.

When I saw a Facebook ad about 2 weeks out from the #SleepUndertheStars event, it was a perfect fit for that personal goal. 

The reason I’m particularly concerned with the issue of displaced peoples is that I’ve been more mindful of the people that live on-and-off in Mrs. Macquarie’s Chair parklands. It’s where I regularly run and I’ve had opportunities to talk to some of these people from time to time. On reflection, I thought this was an opportunity to help a younger generation to avoid a similar circumstance as they get older.

So, I landed on doing the challenge in the park and started to fundraise. This was my experience. Below is a breakdown of my experience and the 5 key lessons that I learned.

The day itself. Before leaving the house

In the back of my mind, I wanted to still give back while I was in the park. On Tuesday I bumped into Raymond who is a man I’ve spoken to before who often sleeps rough in the park. I asked him if he knew of people that would value a few snacks and a quick chat to meet at the point at around 10pm the night of the event. He said yes in principle.

I created 20 little Halloween packs that had some treats and a small bag of popcorn which I took with me and intended to hand them out when I saw Raymond later. 

Then I packed these items along with a couple of sweaters, pants, a raincoat, and a yoga mat into two tote bags, which I took alongside a Camelbak and sleeping bag. I ate before I left and knew being near the point there are bathrooms if needed. The forecast was thunderstorms and severe rain. Something to look forward to.

5.30-6pm: Walking to Mrs. Macquaries Chair lookout 

I left home with my Camelbak, two tote bags, and the sleeping bag. I started to watch (well, listen as it were) to some of the live-streaming content hosted by and for the event. At this stage, I was in shorts with jeans to change into later. I went in concerned with the feeling of judgment by people I passed during the night. An idea of, ‘oh no, not me, I’m just doing this for charity’ sort of nonsense we tell ourselves when we’re uncomfortable.

I think starting off dressed in shorts and a t-shirt while walking into the park was a way to trick my mind that others thought I was just off to some sort of sunset picnic. The mind’s a funny beast.

Lesson one: A feeling of constant judgment was something that I was conscious of coming into the event. However, I was surprised that it remained a permanent fixture the whole night. 

Reflecting on that I considered how very draining on an individual that has no choice or sees no way out of their choice and experiences this day in and day out.

Others may experience this differently, but that was my experience.

6pm-sunset: At the lookout

Turns out, the lookout is an incredibly busy place come sunset over Sydney on a Friday. Like, really busy. And it’s an eclectic bunch of people from runners, couples, tourists, families, and youths doing well... what youths will do.

At this stage, the clouds continued to remain menacing and the weather’s outlook didn’t look likely to budge. 

Towards the end of this part of the evening, it cooled off. I wanted to change into my jeans and go to the bathroom before scoping out where I’d try and get some rest. That was the second learning experience of my evening.

Lesson two: The inconvenience of things. With two tote bags, a sleeping bag, and a Camelbak AND with no-one to look after your stuff when you need to go to the loo, moving is an ordeal. There’s no guarantee the park bench you were on will still be available when you return.

Add to that, I forgot my belt. While that might have been cool for a teenager at the turn of the century (guilty) it’s fairly inconvenient when you’re carrying your bed, food, and belongings while trying to hold up your pants..

I think it would be easy to think that a person in this situation may likely leave their items at the place they aimed to rest. However, if this is all that person has, I would understand the desire to protect those things.

8-11pm: Youths, party boats, and King David

The first place I set up shop was at a park bench at the point in the park. I wanted to aim around there to commit to my earlier promise to Raymond.

Of course, that’s when the revelry of youth comes down to the park. An experience I believe many of us would probably relate to as we look back at our teenage years. But, when you're trying to be mindful, or distract yourself from the situation the noise is a challenge.

Then there are the ongoing flotillas of party boats. Neon lit, pounding music, well-dressed people, living their best lives. The contrast to the people that sleep rough here in my mind was quite striking.

Around 10 I went to where I said I would be and Raymond didn’t show up. Upon reflection, I think I didn’t go about meeting up in the right way. Especially if I thought about how busy the park was likely to be on a Friday evening.

However, King David did come at around that time. He's a self-described gypsy from England who had spent some time in Perth before coming to Sydney. Locals may be familiar with him in the area. He’s a nice bloke and was very grateful for the pack.

When I told him about the cause and what I was raising funds for, he said: “Teach the kids about how to avoid addiction, it’s the destroyer of everything.” A well put statement that came from experience. 

Lesson three: Be grateful for what you have. The contrast of the party boats and drinking youths against the sincere thanks for the small gesture was striking. And I started thinking about what that might feel like from King David’s perspective.

Seeing a constant stream of others in very different circumstances, with wealth, friends all having a good time I could see how that could play on the mind of someone sleeping rough. And I can see the impact that might have on mental health and start to perpetuate a cycle..

11-12:30am: Quiet time.

I have Jabra earplugs which I had with me to listen to music. Around 11 while moving to a different park bench, the charge in plugs died. My backups weren’t working either so, we were without entertainment which, I think, adds to the lesson I just described.

Around this time, the park was fairly quiet. There were a few fishermen with their young kids, a few groups of families and young couples out for date-night walks. But, within that silence, my mind started to become more aware of the background noise.

As I got into the sleeping bag and had my first attempt at sleep, a possum decided to end the peace. It lived in a burrow in the tree I was under. I didn’t know this, but when they get startled, they thump their legs when going up or down the tree trunk. The possums wanted some of the food from the packs and weren’t letting up.

The weather warnings were still in place and the sky was indicating that this was likely to occur. The wind was picking up, people were talking in the park and there were noises from the city like cars, music, sirens. Noises you might otherwise block out as background sound in normal circumstances.

Then of course there are the bats. They were keen on the tree I was under. They squealed and flapped incessantly. I knew that they have a tendency to spray and fly over low, so I decided to move to a bench that wasn’t under a tree. This is when I was visually reminded about the rats in the park and regretted not having been able to hand out the Halloween packs earlier so I wouldn’t have food on me.

Lesson four: It’s noisiest when it’s quietest. The period that I found to be the most peaceful in terms of humans in the park was replaced by the noises of nature. 

The experience of losing battery to my headphones and the backups not working was a forced reflection. It reminded me that firstly, I was fortunate enough to have these things. Secondly, if you don’t have anywhere to charge something like a phone, you just have a shiny box full of wires and dull, powerless lights with no way to access information or entertainment to distract you.

Like many of the lessons I learned across the night, I came back to how it must impact a person's mind in these situations. Without access to power and distractions that we tend to take for granted, one’s left with their mind and a sense of their circumstance. 

With mental health often a contributing factor, I’m reminded that a lack of distractions may contribute to a sense of dwelling on the past, dreading the future, and other emotions like this. Perpetuating the cycle for some.

12:30-4am: Boredom, discomfort, and sleeplessness

The last park bench I sat on, was the most uncomfortable part of the experience.

While my phone still had charge, my friends and family had now gone offline by and large (thanks by the way). The bats and weather continued, with light spitting some of the time and occasional bursts of wind.

I started getting attacked incessantly by any flying insect that could. It was also humid.

The people that were in the park had changed completely. Mostly individual men, park rangers, police, and fairly drunk young people at this point. 

The bench that I was on looked toward the city and had a nice view. Yet, there were noises coming from the tall grass in front of it that was unfamiliar and a little disturbing especially when you have a sleeping bag that makes your ability to move in a hurry limited.

I sat up and lay down constantly. Aside from noises and the people, I was concerned about whether or not the storm would arrive and when I’d need to make a call on moving.

My mind was thinking to itself constantly. Thinking about boredom, thinking about thinking about boredom, thinking about discomfort, thinking about not sleeping, thinking about not wanting to be out in the park anymore. 

It was a trying period, but perhaps the most important period of the night. As it came up 3sm, a group of young people came up to the lookout in a car and were drinking and the police in the park moved them on with their lights flashing. 

It was around then I decided I’d walk around the park and via the city to hand out the packs I’d made and start to head home. The police came through again with their speakers and spotlight on asking people to move on. I left the spot at about 3am.

I walked out through the domain and I dropped off a few to the group at the State Library and then went to Martin Place, but the people are relocated at the moment. I was given some concerned looks by a few of the officers at the precinct. 

I knew a halfway home that was on the way back to my house and dropped off the rest there while feeling very self-conscious as I walked through the city, passing cars and crossing lights. I got home around 4am and I was very grateful and relieved. 

Lesson five: Safety and concern. Going into this, my perception was that the safety concerns people might have around slept in a park would be from other people sleeping in the park. And I’m sure that’s sadly happened. But, looking back at it, I was most concerned about animals, insects, the weather, and random people that didn’t frequent the park.

Like the other lessons, the impacts of constantly fearing for your safety due to environmental pressures plus sleeplessness must put a heck of a strain on a person's mental health for those in this situation on a regular basis. 

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Final comments at resources

I would recommend the experience if the cause or issue is close to your heart. Perhaps not quite how I did it, but with a group or something that feels right to you. It’s for a great cause and it’s an excellent learning experience. 

A special thanks to all those that were messaging throughout the night and all the individuals that donated. It’s such a great cause. The fundraiser closes 30 November 2020 if you’d like to donate. Here’s the link.

If you’d like to learn more about Stepping Stone House or donate directly, you can visit their site here. 

If you’d like to learn more about #SleepUndertheStars and watch stories from former youths that Stepping Stone House has helped, visit their site here.  

Below are two infographics that you might enjoy that were created for the event with links to direct you to download these resources.

#startsomethinggood.

*Resources and information about Stepping Stone House and Sleep Under the Stars are sourced from https://steppingstonehouse.com.au/ and https://steppingstonehouse.com.au/ respectively