It Starts With Us!

The late great Dr. Maya Angelou said, "Hate, it has caused many problems in the world, but has not solved one yet." Her quote sat with me most of 2020 and into 2021. And if we are going to "unify" inside the workplace and outside of the workplace, it will require lots of empathy, compassion, and communication. Without those tenents, we will be hard-pressed to find new solutions to decades worth of hate, discrimination, and isolation in this country.

We all have the capacity to "hear" people out and make a conscious decision to engage through an equitable lens. Many years ago, I was hopping into the backseat of an Uber, and I noticed my driver had on an “Italian t-shirt.” My mother coined this phrase because she hates the word “wife-beater.” (She’s so cute.) Somehow, I knew I would be annoyed with this gentleman before I even put my seatbelt on. I was right: he ended up circling the block twice before getting on the freeway. I took a deep breath and said, "Let's use my GPS."

Fast forward 35 minutes later, and we’d become fast friends. We spoke about everything at that time, and I learned more about this man in the “Italian tee shirt.” Who knew!

I was reminded that oftentimes, we judge a book by its cover and don't give people space to be themselves without judgment.

Early in my career, after receiving my first bonus check, I wanted to treat myself to a nice piece of jewelry. Up until that point, I’d still been buying all my jewelry at Claire’s. Not this time. This time, I decided that I would go to the best place in town. I had been in that store for 15-minutes, and no one offered to help me. It wasn’t until after I left that I realized why. When I walked in, my eyes settled on a beautiful diamond necklace. I signaled for help because I’d found “the one.” The saleswoman came over, and before I could get anything out of my mouth, she said, "Why don't I show you the jewelry in this [other] case? It might be more your speed." I walked over to the case. There were three things in the case, and everything was on sale. Ding, Ding, Ding! It hit me: this lady assumed I could only afford the pendants in the sale case. I stood in shock for about 10 seconds. I wanted to scream out, “I make more money than all of you combined!” (This was the much younger me.) This was one of those Dave Chapelle moments when keeping it real goes wrong.

I picked my mouth up off the floor and told her that I was taking my business to Zales due to the poor customer service. A hundred years later, I haven't forgotten how that day made me feel—two different situations with varied outcomes.

One of the biggest self-improvement points that I continue to iron out is not to harbor any prejudices and/or ignorant ideologies towards others. I have lived out of a suitcase traveling city to city for my previous job for most of my career. Some of my best relationships were formed on planes or eating dinner solo at the restaurant bar. I learn so much when I give others space to be themselves, and they give me space to do the same.

There is so much hate being poured out into the world that I want to let my light shine whenever possible. Let's put aside our preconceived notions about others because of who we think they are. Let’s see people for more than their gender, race, sexual orientation, or religious beliefs. Guess what...That is someone's son, daughter, brother, or sister. As you move into this new year, resolve to extend yourself to someone who looks different or thinks differently. Give someone space and grace to have a different point of view (respectfully of course--don't allow yourself to be harmed).

I am happy I gave my Uber driver space and grace. In turn, I got the opportunity to learn from a man in an “Italian t-shirt,” and he got to learn from a woman in a Memo t-shirt. And, last but not least, that jewelry store is out of business.

What's On My Bookshelf?

So many people ask me what I'm reading... And over the holidays, I picked up a lot of new books. Here are my next six months' worth of reads...

• The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie;
• Making Hispanics by G. Cristina Mora;
• Radical Candor by Kim Scott;
• The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett;
• The Making of a Manager by Julie Zhou;
• The Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison.

Articles I think everyone should be reading:

Before I GO...

And, if you know anything about me, I am a lover of grits and rap lyrics. And I can't end this month's newsletter without dropping a gem. The lyric I am vibing on this month is a song called Blessings by Lecrae. There's a line in the song, "If I ever took a loss, I learned a lesson, I won’t ever think I’m better than the next man..." I hope that you will keep an open mind and heart and remember to give people space and a little grace.

And don't forget you can catch me every Monday at Noon ET for my Linkedin Live show Secure The Seat. Check out a really great episode from January 11th.