Starting School - Parenting School-Age Children (5-8 Years): Navigating the Transition with Patience and Understanding
Darleen Barton Dr
Principal & Founder Dr (hc) @ DIPAC Est 2009 Private Practice | Counselling Therapist | Accredited Mediator| Conflict Resolution |Life Business Executive Coaching People Development
Parenting School-Age Children (5-8 Years): Navigating the Transition with Patience and Understanding
By Darleen Barton, Practitioner hc, Family Therapist and Couples Counsellor
The transition from preschool to school can be both exciting and challenging for children and parents. As children begin school, they enter a new world of rules, routines, and responsibilities. For parents, this period can feel overwhelming as they guide their child through this adjustment while managing their own emotions. Here is what you can expect from children in this age group and how to manage their behaviour and your own during this critical stage of development.
Child Behaviour in the School Years: What to Expect School-age children are developing independence but still rely heavily on their caregivers for emotional support. At this age, they learn crucial social skills such as sharing, making friends, and understanding emotions. This stage can present emotional challenges for both children and parents. Parents must remember the "Three Ts"—Time, Tenderness, and Tears. These years can be filled with moments of frustration, so patience, understanding, and empathy are essential.
Children may experience various anxieties, such as worries about schoolwork, making friends, or even irrational fears. These fears are real to them, and as a parent, it is important to provide reassurance without belittling their concerns. This is not the time for harsh discipline but rather for offering love, understanding, and a listening ear. Consistent emotional support will help build their confidence and give them the tools to face their fears.
Starting School: A Big Change The first days of school are significant in a child's life, filled with excitement and nerves. Parents should convey positivity and enthusiasm about school to help alleviate their child's anxiety. However, it is important to acknowledge that after a full day of school, children may come home feeling tired or irritable. Give them time to relax before engaging in other activities.
Sometimes, children may not be ready to talk about their day immediately. Be patient and give them space to open up when they are ready. Keeping open communication with their teacher can help address any concerns promptly.
Encouraging Positive Behaviour in School-Age Children Setting a positive example and using praise to reinforce good behaviour is one of the most effective ways to guide your child’s development. Here are some strategies to encourage positive behaviour:
Establish Family Rules: Set clear, positive rules at home such as “We take turns” and “We say please and thank you.” Consistent practice at home will help your child develop better behaviour both at school and in social situations.
Create Consistent Routines: Children thrive in an environment with predictable routines. Having a set routine for mornings, school preparations, and mealtimes creates a sense of security. Avoid rushing your child, especially during busy school mornings. Home should be a sanctuary where they feel calm and supported. Rushing dinner and bedtime can also cause stress, leading to restless sleep or anxiety about going to bed.
Tip: A short gentle family walk after dinner can help with family bonding and calming all family members after a busy day.
Give Clear, Positive Instructions: Instead of saying “Hurry up!” offer clear, step-by-step instructions like “Please put your lunchbox in your backpack” to help your child understand expectations.
Gentle Reminders: If your child is distracted or losing focus, offer gentle reminders. For example, “We will be leaving in ten minutes—finish your game and then we will go.” Check in with the child to ensure they heard you by asking, “Okay?”
Positive reinforcement and praising good behaviour, along with problem-solving together when disagreements arise, can significantly shape behaviour.
Common Behaviour Concerns and How to Handle Them
Anxiety: Worries about schoolwork or social situations are common. Acknowledge their feelings and help them face their fears by providing encouragement and role-playing different scenarios.
Bullying: If your child is being bullied, address the issue quickly. Communicate with their teacher and involve the school in finding a resolution. At home, create an environment where your child feels loved and supported.
Cheating: Some children may resort to cheating, especially if they struggle with competition or fear failure. Encourage fairness, honesty, and the importance of doing their best, regardless of the outcome.
Fighting: It is normal for children to experience conflicts, but it is important to teach them how to resolve disagreements peacefully. Encourage your child to express their feelings calmly and help them work through conflicts in a constructive way.
Adult Poor Behaviours- If you yell, smack, or use bad language at home, your child may imitate these behaviours at school, which could lead to difficulties for your child with teachers and peers.
Friendships: Encouraging your child to socialise and make new friends is an important part of their growth. Consider arranging playdates or enrolling them in extracurricular activities where they can meet children with similar interests.
Habits: Some habits, like nail-biting, may develop during stressful situations. While most habits fade as children grow, discuss them calmly with your child if they become an issue.
Lying: At this age, children may start telling small lies. This is part of their cognitive development, and it is an opportunity to teach them the value of honesty and the consequences of dishonesty.
Swearing: If your child uses bad language, talk to them about why certain words can hurt others. Consistency in setting boundaries will help teach them which behaviours are acceptable.
Managing School Mornings Mornings can often feel rushed, especially when children do not fully understand the concept of time. A consistent routine can set the stage for a positive school day and reduce morning stress.
Managing Your Own Feelings: Being Organised helps- Parenting a school-age child is an emotional journey, and it is normal to feel stressed or frustrated at times. Taking care of your own mental and physical health is crucial in being the best support for your child. Make sure to:
If you feel overwhelmed, reach out for support from a trusted friend, partner, or counsellor. You are not expected to have all the answers, and there are plenty of resources available to guide you.
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The Importance of Positive Discipline It is important to remember that corporal punishment, such as hitting, can have lasting emotional and physical consequences. Focus instead on positive reinforcement, communication, and setting consistent boundaries.
If you model positive behaviour, your child is more likely to mirror that in their own actions. Conversely, if negative behaviours, such as yelling or hitting, are modelled at home, your child may repeat those actions in school or with peers. Detrimental effects on smacking children revealed in new report | Today Show Australia
Conclusion School-age children need both guidance and emotional support as they navigate new routines, friendships, and social challenges. By setting clear rules, encouraging positive behaviour, and addressing common issues with patience, you can help your child thrive both in school and in life. And remember, it is okay to seek help when things get parenting and is a learning process, and you do not have to do it alone.
Resources for Support:
Happy parenting, take your time—you are learning too! ??
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Darleen Barton | Amazon NO 1 Best Selling Author 2010
Practitioner Dr (hc)
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