Starting a kindness movement

You agreed with my last article: kindness at work does matter. But it was clear from the messages I received that while people want a kinder workplace, it’s not easy to change the environment in which we work.  

That got me thinking: is kindness one aspect of our work lives that we can take control of by starting with our own acts of kindness? Can we start a kindness movement?

Regardless of our corporate values, kindness can’t be mandated. One of the frequent misunderstandings that I have come across in my career is that change can somehow take place through carefully-crafted newsletters or well-rehearsed town halls. It’s a cliché but change can only take place when people walk the talk. Yes, it helps when that change is lived and breathed from the top-down, but, one of my favourite quotes, sometimes ascribed to the Dalai Lama sometimes as an African proverb, is, “if you think you are too small to make a difference, try sharing a room with a mosquito”.

 It’s not easy starting a movement and I’ve had a few failures from getting friends to join me in steps challenges (enthusiasm dwindled to nothing by the end of week 1) to starting an environmental club at school (no one showed up and then the headmistress shut it down). At one company I tried to start a women’s network, the response was summed up in a message from one of the invitees: “I hardly have time to wash my hair, and if I did have time, I wouldn’t want to spend a second longer than I need to in this place”. A movement can’t just start with emotion, people have to want to make a difference.

But I’ve also had some small successes. In a previous start-up company that I led, my management team wanted to spread some kindness. And so started the smallest and most simple of kindness movements. Without planning or fanfare, we set up a WhatsApp group and simply shared stories of how we had as individuals made a colleague’s day. From thanking people for a job well done, to asking after their children, to providing surprise lunchtime pizzas, to doubling an incentive on the spot. We were introducing small acts of kindness to the workplace and we loved it. 

In another company, we decided we needed to get to know each other better as a management team. So we started our weekly management meetings at the beginning of the week with personal or professional positives, an opportunity to share with each other something good in our lives. While warm-hearted, vulnerable humans shone through in those sessions, the tough conversations still took place and I found trust developed. By opening up as people, we were more prepared to open up about our professional challenges and seek support from each other.

What we started seeing were managers and team leaders further down the organisation replicating the actions of the management team. Without any mandate from above, they were mirroring the behaviours that they saw. They felt empowered to be kind. What started as something that could have quickly fizzled out, soon became part of the way we did things. It became our culture.

How about organising a session with your team to identify things that you can do to improve the working environment? Make some ground rules that these have to be things that you feel empowered to do and you don’t require management support for. 

Or how about challenging yourself and inviting the person you least like or has shown you the least kindness for a coffee? Maybe you’ll find out something that helps you understand why they behave as they do. Go on, I dare you. And I'd love to hear about it.

You don’t need to make a radical change in the organisation to make a difference. Maybe just maybe you’ll make someone’s day and find some kindred spirits at work. 

All views are my own.