START WITH TRUST. END WITH TRUST.

One of the main themes that we work on in therapy with clients suffering from addictive behaviours is that of TRUST. In working with schema therapy this is understood as the schema of Mistrust and Abuse (Jeffrey Young – Schema Therapy). Erik Erikson, a Pulitzer Prize-winning developmental psychologist known for his theory of ‘psychosocial stages’, named the first stage of life as ‘trust vs. mistrust’, offering the virtue of ‘hope’. From birth to 18 months we develop trust for our main caregiver. The schema of Mistrust and Abuse falls within the first domain of Disconnection and Rejection. All the schemas within this domain are closely linked to insecure attachment and results in difficulties in bonding with others in their life. This schema results in individuals living their lives through a frame of mistrust in all relationships, even sometimes resulting in choosing partners who resemble their relationships in early childhood. Studies consistently show that if this trust for another does not evolve when we are infants, and we miss this development, we grow up with feelings of fear instead, and a sense the world is a dangerous place void of real hope.

The understanding of these schemas is that the client grew up in an environment that their childhood needs were not met by their primary care givers. And are associated with traumatic childhood experiences – and the typical experiences being that of unpredictable, cold, rejecting, isolated or abusive families.

The specific needs are theoretically understood as the following childhood needs being unmet:?

1.)? LOVE

2.)? SUPPORT

3.)? GUIDANCE

4.)? BELONGING

One of the most integral aspects of therapeutic change is being able to provide and establish a relationship based on trust, as it is often in the relationship with the client’s therapist that the healing begins. For many clients, the therapeutic relationship represents the first time to try trusting another person, creating a safe and supportive environment for the client to finally be yourself.

Trust has been understood as:

“Confidence that an individual will find what is desired from another, rather than what is feared”

“Trust is a human impulse for survival, as well as the driving force that keeps us moving forward in life”

“Trust involves believing and expecting others will do things for your wellbeing”

What it means to have trust in a therapeutic relationship:

1.)? Risk – handing over a desired outcome of change, with your therapist in a relationship of Co-operation and Compromise.

2.)?? Self-Confidence – building confidence within the client, working on underlying beliefs and past experiences that may have left the client feeling they do not deserve to have their needs met, or that people will never meet their needs.

3.)?? Interdependence – helping the client to embrace working together with the therapist in order to understand, process and heal the experiences.

In the frame of schema therapy, the relationship, the rapport, and the collaborative approach to understanding the origins of the insecure attachment, the experiences in early childhood that formed the frame of this belief and exploring the behaviors that have resulted as a form of protecting self from further harm. It is here that the work lies, it is here where the healing begins, and that TRUST is possible.

This creates CHANGE, significant change where our clients are able to change the trajectory of their lives, and have authentic, real connection with others.