Start Moving on, stop missing someone

The easiest way is to accept the situation for what it is and be able to let go. Stop thinking of ‘what if's and ‘if only’s. Tell yourself that although things are not what you wished for, you will and you have to accept it. Forget the hopes and dreams. You cannot turn back the time. It’s easier said than done so below are some tips I would share to cope with no contact period, but keep in mind that if you keep denying the obvious and choose to ignore the painful truth, nothing will work.

First and foremost, hide those trigger points such as the person’s contact, email, photos, gifts, and block the social media accounts. Get rid of things that remind you of the person’s existence and all the memories you have shared together. Remove completely, unfollow or block if you must. Distract yourself into something else like a hobby. Give yourself love and space. Don’t give in to the feeling of longing. It will feel uncomfortable for a while, until you find something new to fill that gap.

Drown yourself in work and exercise. Binge watch movies and shows. Read Quora. Spend time with friend. Seek validation from a trusted pal if you need to. Glow up. There are so many other things to do in life than just hovering over someone and pondering if you should reach out. Start to write diary. Be a keyboard warrior. Write out reasons why you shouldn’t contact that person again. A long essay, a full story. Read and reread it. If you can’t do it on your own, copy articles and fragments of pages that you relate to. The words will get etched in your mind. You may get emotional, but just cry it out.

Write down what you want to tell that person but don’t send it out. After doing so a few times, you might feel like you have communicated your thoughts and thus curbs your need for actual response. Always set a target date to achieve normalcy. Having no contact with the person should feel normal in the future. You shouldn’t be itching to reach out either. Make yourself think through and set a possible date to achieve the desired normalcy. You will feel obliged to accept the current situation and push through.

I know this is not easy, after all there is no stipulated time for someone to move on. But hey, having a goal is better than none right? With all that being said, I did not do 100% of whatever because I’m one who treasures all connections I have in life, but I do all of the others I mentioned. Those pangs to make contact will come back and forth; this is inevitable for someone who truly loved and is used to having communication. Currently my urge comes once every 2 to 3 weeks, which is already good improvement from a daily itch. It works magic at times like this.

It takes time to heal. Don’t expect yourself to change overnight. Take care and focus on acceptance. I’m doing that too but stay strong! Oh, a lot of things come to mind at this point. When I come home late after a long day at work, I miss my mom not opening the door for me. I live with a roommate. When I see those college kids hanging out in restaurants with their gang, I miss my old set of dudes and bros. I eat alone these days. When I'm eating alone and cough a little, I miss my dad patting on my back to make me feel better.

When I'm busy at office writing and signing useless documents, I miss those times when I hated exams. When I get to listen to bashes from those brainless, so called business giving clients, I miss my college professors who used to throw us out of the class. When I'm stuck in traffic and cursing everything in the world, I miss the life I had in my little village in the western ghats. When I go for a walk in the park and see those little kids engrossed in their smartphones, I miss those old days of slides and swings. I'm still a kid inside.

When I go to a supermarket to buy groceries, I miss the times when I begged mom to buy me a lollipop. When I can't decide what to wear to work at times, I miss the times when uniform was everything. When I'm waiting for my turn to use the machine at the gym, I miss the times when all we waited for, was a post traumatic period. When I get my salary credited every month, I miss those times when grandma gave me 50 Rs every time I visited her. When I see a guy trying to flirt with someone over WhatsApp and smileys, I miss the times when we used to do it over letters and secret smiles.

When I wake up in the middle of the night because my roommate snores the sleep out of me , I miss my old bed and peace. When I sit in the corner of my room thinking about the future, I miss the times when I had no idea about my future. When I see a couple walking hand in hand, okay, I don't have any stories left for this category. It sucks. Long story short, I miss being a child. I miss not wearing a mask. I miss being myself and hence moving on with life. Thank you dear world. Cheers!