Start By Knowing Why!

In my article last week, I discussed how best to communicate when in the witness box, using the 6C's. But it's one thing to talk about doing so, it's another thing entirely, being able to do so.

Communicating, for example, in a composed, calm and controlled manner, is of course the best state to be in when you attempt to give evidence for a number of reasons, but achieving this state of mind when in the witness box, feeling anxious, stressed, and worried about the outcome, is far easier said than done.

Obviously, it is not simple to be or appear calm when in the witness box. But the key to learning to be so, is first to give yourself a reason to learn to be, and/or present in a composed manner.

You will know your reasons for why it's important to you, to learn to quieten your doubts and fears and display a level of composure when in the witness box.

What will appearing calm and being in control of your thoughts, emotions and behaviour mean for you personally?

You're not learning these skills just because you want to give good evidence and do what you consider is in the child's best interests, there are other reasons, which are personal and unique to you. Your task is to find out or identify what it, or they might be!

Maybe doing so means you feel better about yourself?

Maybe remaining in control of yourself is your way of showing your resistance to feeling bullied.

Maybe ensuring that you don't show a lack of composure, is your way of defying those who have made you feel nervous and anxious in the past.

Whatever the reason is, you have to find it, and understand why it is important to you.

Once you have found it, you've got a reason to work towards achieving it. It is then necessary to practise and prepare repeatedly on a daily basis until you feel a greater level of composure.

Being able to assume and remain in control of yourself assists you in so many areas, or aspects of your life.

Similarly, how do you go about displaying a greater level of confidence, if you feel you don't have any, or a sufficient amount when in the witness box.

Again it's important to be motivated, or to have a reason why it's vital for you to gain the confidence you need when in the witness box.

Often it's valuable to reflect on what you lost or failed to obtain in earlier situations, due to your lack of confidence, and then to consider what you will continue to lose or fail to achieve in the future due to your diffidence.

Perhaps you've been in an abusive relationship, where your confidence has been systematically eroded over the years, to the point at which your confidence can now be described to be 'rock bottom.'

No matter what level of confidence you believe you're currently at, it can be improved by working on yourself on a daily basis. One of the ways of gaining confidence is by doing what you fear over and over again.

So simulating being in the witness box explaining yourself and answering questions to the best of your ability, repeatedly will begin to positively impact your confidence level.

Consistency and constant repetition is key to your progress.

Even if you are talking about something that petrifies you, doing so over and over again (whilst watching yourself in the mirror, or in the presence of a supportive person) will eventually result in you gaining greater levels of confidence.

By continually repeating such exercises until you feel greater confidence, is an effective way of developing confidence where none appeared to exist before.

Many years ago following my first and horrendous court experience, it was absolute rage which propelled me to learn the skills I needed to prepare myself to give evidence at court. I swore to myself that no one - not the judge or any barrister cross-examining me, would ever make me feel as terrible as I felt that day, ever again.

It has been an oath I have been able to keep.

If you have to go to court to give evidence, just remind yourself repeatedly that you know why you're there, and whatever you may have had to endure. Whether you're incensed as I was, or distressed at the thought of what awaits you, channel those emotions, and make them work for you. Hone those skills repeatedly until you feel a much greater level of calm and confidence.

No witness deserves to feel as terrible as those cross-examining you and the judge at times can make you feel, so don't allow it!