Start from where you are!

It’s rather like “Let your conscience be your guide”, or “You can’t get away from yourself”. Actually, things are always between “Me and Me.” There is no running away from a problem or concern. Our minds hold on to thoughts until we resolve them. One may blame others or things for their discontent, but soon enough, when they leave a person or move out of state, they find nothing has really changed on the ‘inside’, no matter how one changes the outside scene.

It refers to a similar quote I heard that goes, “wherever you go, there you are.” in essence it means that you cannot run from yourself, you are always going to be where you are. So people that run from their problems, do not really accomplish anything, because if they had these problems in their old town, they will have the same problems in a new town. It is only when we make the effort to change ourselves, that we fix the problems we have no matter where we go.

“Wherever you go, there you are.” It’s very Zen-like, and in fact expresses an essential truth of Buddhism (and undoubtedly a universal truth). Turns out it’s also the title of a book, reprised below. What it means is that you take your problems, whatever they may be, with you. Though a change of environment may induce you to change, your fundamental nature won’t change unless you determine to change it. Unless you get at the root of the matter and make the necessary internal changes, you’ll find yourself repeating the same basic patterns of behavior in the new context, with the same results you’ve experienced in the past.

Yet another way of looking at the same phenomenon is the saying, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation In Everyday Life -by Jon Kabat-Zinn. The time-honored national bestseller, updated with a new afterword, celebrating 10 years of influencing the way we live. When Wherever You Go, There You Are was first published in 1994, no one could have predicted that the book would launch itself onto bestseller lists nationwide and sell over 750,000 copies to date. Ten years later, the book continues to change lives. In honor of the book's 10th anniversary, Hyperion is proud to be releasing the book with a new afterword by the author, and to share this wonderful book with an even larger audience.

It means that if you don’t like yourself, or you haven’t made peace with yourself for things you’ve done in the past, you will be dealing with that baggage forever. So many people say they hate the city they live in, that they can’t wait to move to (fill-in-the-gap), & then a few months later… It’s the same old story. They don’t like (fill-in-the-gap) any more. They want to go somewhere else. As we move from city to city, place to place, the one constant is us. Once the newness & excitement of moving has worn off, we often find that we are depressed again. We still dislike people. We still hate work. Our relationship still drains our energy & happiness. We still binge eat or drink too much or fritter our money away. If we don’t change anything about ourselves, we just take whatever is inside us wherever we go.

You might think life sucks, but shifting your physical location is not going to change who you are. It will change your life in trivial ways, but not you. You are a crucial part of the equation. You dictate how you feel & why. Wherever you go, there you are. Learn to love yourself & the place you are in. No city is perfect — they’re much like people in that way. People & cities have both brilliance & flaws. The trick is in accepting them for what they are, working around the challenges, finding out a way to use the flaws to your advantage & learning to generate your own happiness.

Happiness is an inside job, & one that only you alone can work on. There is nothing wrong with wanting to move to another place, that is part of progression & evolution & the thrill of starting fresh. But if you can learn to appreciate where you live now, & all the small, seemingly insignificant but wholly beautiful things which make up your life, your days will be filled with joy & beauty. In addiction, many many people have claimed or wished or declared that they were going to move to a place and start over as drug/alcohol/addiction free.

At the 12 steps meetings, we called this "the Geographical Cure". It doesn't work. It has never worked. No new location makes the person different. No new event makes the person suddenly change the core of who they are. At least not for long. Perhaps in milder terms, think of much you screwed up at your present job. You've been late, missed work for poor excuses, said the wrong thing to the boss and messed up that order you knew how to do.

So, you say, "not to worry, when I start the New Job at the New Company, this time I'm gonna be different. This time I won't be me, I'll be that 'tv image' of a great worker. Back to the personal. "This time I won't mess up my relationship, this time I'm gonna be a good partner. I've moved to a new city, a new job, a new gal and this time, I'll be a new me. As you can see from this and all the other answers - the common factor is You. You take You with you. No matter where I go there I am.

Why do people use truisms? Because it is human nature to overlook the obvious. The truism brings your mind back to simple facts that often become blurred as you add layers of thought about a particular situation. No matter how complicated the situation may be, a truism is still true. A good truism like this will have different meanings, depending on the situation that caused the truism to be invoked. For instance, “Wherever you go, there you are” could be the thought that brings people who are running away, to the idea that they are really running from themselves. Similar related truisms that come to mind are “Don’t burn your bridges behind you” and “The bigger they are, the harder they fall”.

A really good truism has different meanings to different people and situations, yet remain true. In hindsight, they become obvious (hindsight is 20/20). A really good truism is catchy and poetic. It pops in the mind when heard. Of the many I have heard, “Wherever you go, there you are” has those qualities. All of your heart means the opposite. Doing something “half hearted” doesn't mean you have half of a heart in your body. It is just a way to mean, you don't have that much energy for it, you are not that motivated for it, or interested, or inspired but still participating in whatever you are doing that makes you feel that way. And this may also involve doing something with far less enthusiasm. Cheers!