Start with Dessert

Are you a dessert person?  I am. 

We save the ‘best for last’. We ‘treat’ ourselves with the satisfying pleasure of tantalizing sweets at the end of the meal---that finishing touch.

Wait! Don’t you write about biz, work and career, Laura? How does our propensity for dessert relate to what’s right for our lives or career?

Stick with me, here. Dessert just feels so good as a taste sensation. Career and life satisfaction feels good too and we expect it to be the reward of hard work or a good decision.  We experience it as a result. What if, instead, we interpret that sensation as a guide?  What feels good is a sign to keep going in that direction.*

In my recent work with a very unhappy career salesperson in their 40’s, he was sure he was ready for a change until he landed on what felt right as a future direction. He knew it was right, the exercises we did confirmed it, his financial situation presented no obstacles to the change BUT he went from feeling right to feeling terrified. What if he failed? What if he wanted to get his job back and couldn’t get it? What if, what if, what if? 

Did it feel good to analyze and project a future that wasn’t here yet (or even likely)? No!

So why panic?

When clients put their money where their mouth is, ready to finally end the nagging sense that there is something better for them, it’s not unusual for them to go right into their analytical thinking. How will they get their money’s worth? Can I possibly be smart enough to know what they are built to do with their lives? How do I know? Do I have a crystal ball?  What will I do with them that will make them know too?

It’s not about me. It’s about getting you (them) to FEEL again. No deep breathing exercises, no meditation assignments nor long journaling assignments. Nothing wrong with those, but I support my clients to feel their way out of the lack of clarity through a set of questions.  Then, I measure the level of BS in the answers based on how it feels to me and them. Sound crazy? Maybe, but it works.

You can start paying attention to how things feel for you right now.  Feels good? Proceed. Feels wrong? Nothing will change that and the longer you ignore it, the worse it will get.

Now, back to the murky territory:  Fear. Fear is not a desirable sensation.  Fear can be a reaction to something that feels good too!  For example, it feels good to be creative but fear kicks in right away that it’s not sustainable or people will not like what you create or you can’t make time for something not related to your current job. It felt good for my client to recognize his ideal work scenario but he let fear be his compass and stall his quest for satisfaction. Just like dessert is ruined by the fear of gaining weight!

Follow what feels right.  Yeah, even if it means having dessert first.

*DISCLAIMER: NO GLUTTONY