Start Asking God for More: Four Reasons Why We Pray Less
Introduction
Prayer has long been a challenge for Christians. Even esteemed figures like John Stott admitted that prayer was one of the greatest struggles in their spiritual journey. This struggle is not unique; many believers find it difficult to maintain a consistent prayer life. In fact, it seems that today’s evangelical community prays less frequently than in previous generations. But why is this the case?
Reflecting on the past few decades, there’s been a noticeable shift in how evangelicals approach prayer. As someone who has been involved in Christian communities for over fifty years, I’ve observed significant changes in prayer practices, particularly within student groups and local churches. Where prayer was once central to Christian gatherings, it now seems to have been pushed to the margins.?
The Marginalization of?Prayer
Richard Lovelace, in his seminal work The Dynamics of Spiritual Life, highlighted a disturbing trend in the 20th-century church: the diminishing role of prayer. Lovelace observed that while evangelicals might agree that prayer is essential for revival, it has increasingly become a ritual obligation rather than a genuine expression of dependence on God. Meetings and discussions in the church are often dominated by human discourse, with prayer reduced to mere formalities.
Lovelace’s observations from 1979 seem even more relevant today. The importance of prayer has continued to decline in both corporate and individual settings. But understanding the reasons behind this trend is crucial if we want to rekindle our commitment to prayer.
The Factors Contributing to Our Declining Prayer?Life
There is no single reason why prayer has become less central in our lives, but several factors have contributed to this shift.
1. The Rise of Bible Study?Groups
One of the most significant changes in church life over the past few decades has been the proliferation of Bible study groups. These groups, while beneficial in many ways, have often replaced traditional prayer meetings. While the intention behind this shift was positive, the reality is that Bible study sessions frequently overrun, leaving little time for prayer. When prayer does happen, it’s often rushed and focused on immediate needs rather than deeper spiritual concerns.
2. The Increasing Ease of?Life
Another factor contributing to our declining prayer life is the relative ease with which many of us live today. Compared to previous generations, we are more prosperous, secure, and comfortable. While global issues like terrorism are concerning, they don’t have the same immediate impact on our daily lives as past threats like the Cold War did. As a result, there is less of a sense of urgency or desperation that drives us to our knees in prayer.
3. The Dominance of Pragmatism
Technological advancements and improved church strategies have also played a role in diminishing our reliance on prayer. With better preaching, music, and facilities, we might feel less need to seek God’s help. The mindset that “we can handle it ourselves” often overshadows the recognition of our dependence on God, leading to a decrease in both corporate and individual prayer.
4. The Availability of Good?Teaching
The abundance of excellent teaching available online has inadvertently weakened our sense of dependence on God. In the past, believers were more reliant on their local pastors for spiritual nourishment, which prompted them to pray fervently for their leaders. Today, however, we can access sermons and teachings from gifted speakers around the world with the click of a button. This detachment from our local spiritual leaders has lessened our sense of urgency to pray for them, further contributing to our declining prayer life.
Relearning How to?Pray
Understanding why we pray less is only the first step. The real challenge lies in rediscovering the importance of prayer and incorporating it into our daily lives. This requires us to step back from the cultural influences that have made prayer difficult and return to the biblical foundations of prayer.
Recognize Your Greatest?Needs
The Bible teaches that God’s ultimate goal for us is to transform us into the likeness of Jesus (Romans 8:29). Once we grasp this truth, the need for prayer becomes evident. While we may be capable of performing various tasks and activities, we cannot accomplish God’s work in our lives or the lives of others without His help. As Jesus reminds us in John 15:5, “apart from me you can do nothing.”
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Paul Miller, in A Praying Life, aptly describes prayer as “learned desperation.” This desperation arises when we recognize the vastness of God’s plans for us and our world, our inability to effect lasting change, and our need for God’s intervention. When we truly understand these things, prayer will become a natural and essential part of our lives.
Realize That Prayer Will Always Be Hard?Work
A common misconception is that if we are praying correctly, it should be easy and effortless. However, the Bible paints a different picture. Paul commends Epaphras, a model follower of Jesus, for “always struggling on your behalf in his prayers” (Colossians 4:12). Prayer is hard work because it is an integral part of God’s lifelong process of transforming us in a fallen world.
If you find prayer difficult, take heart?—?you’re not doing it wrong. Prayer is supposed to be challenging because it involves engaging with God in His work of sanctification. Embrace the struggle, knowing that it is part of God’s plan for your growth and transformation.
Pray Patiently and Look for Small?Answers
We may not always see immediate or dramatic answers to our prayers, but that doesn’t mean God isn’t at work. Often, God answers our prayers in small, incremental ways that we might overlook if we’re not paying attention. Recognizing these “small” answers can help us remain patient and persistent in prayer.
For example, when I pray for my children to grow in their love for Jesus, I might not see a sudden transformation. However, I can take note of small signs?—?like a thoughtful question, a moment of selflessness, or a renewed interest in Scripture?—?that indicate God is answering my prayers. By focusing on these small victories, we can stay motivated to continue praying, trusting that God is at work even when we don’t see the full picture.
Relearning What to?Pray
In addition to understanding how to pray, it’s important to know what to pray for. The Bible consistently encourages us to ask God for what we need, and it’s no coincidence that prayer is fundamentally about asking. The gospel teaches us that we have nothing to offer God; we are entirely dependent on His grace. In the same way, prayer is an expression of our dependence on God, as we ask Him to provide for our needs and accomplish His purposes.
Get On with?Asking
Jesus assures us that we are free to ask our Heavenly Father for anything, knowing that He will only give us what is good for us (Luke 11:9–13). We don’t need to worry about asking for the wrong things; God will not grant requests that are harmful to us or contrary to His will. So, we should not hesitate to ask boldly and confidently, trusting that God will answer according to His wisdom and love.
I’ve learned a lot about this from my youngest daughter, Rebekah. She has no qualms about asking for things?—?no matter how outlandish?—?and she is equally content to accept a “no” from her parents. Her childlike faith and trust in our judgment is a beautiful illustration of how we should approach God in prayer. Like children, we should be eager to ask and willing to trust that God knows what is best for us.
The Focus of Our?Prayers
While it’s important to ask God for what we need, the Bible also provides guidance on the focus of our prayers. Specifically, we should pray for God to fulfill His promises and accomplish His work through His word. These are the prayers that God has promised to answer, and they align with His will for our lives and the world.
Become an Expert?Ask-er
To become an advanced pray-er, you don’t need to learn new techniques or adopt a specific posture. Instead, you need to become an expert ask-er?—?someone who recognizes their own weakness and God’s strength, and who constantly asks God to do what He has already promised to do. This is the essence of gospel-driven prayer: acknowledging our dependence on God and asking Him to work in our lives and in the world according to His purposes.
By focusing on asking God to fulfill His promises, especially for the spread of the gospel, we can be confident that He will answer our prayers. And as we continue to pray, we can look forward to the day when we will no longer need to ask?—?because we will see our God and King face-to-face.
Conclusion
The decline in prayer among evangelicals is a concerning trend, but it’s not irreversible. By understanding the reasons why we pray less and relearning how and what to pray, we can rekindle our commitment to prayer. Prayer is not just a ritual or an obligation; it is a vital part of our relationship with God, a way to align our lives with His will, and a means of participating in His work in the world.
As we start asking God for more, we will rediscover the power and importance of prayer in our lives. And as we persist in prayer, we can trust that God will work in us and through us for His glory and our good.