Star Wars and Emotional Intelligence

I am going to assume Star Wars as a franchise doesn't need any introduction. And as most of you will know, there is a mystical concept in Star Wars, called The Force. There are two opposite factions who are not just worshippers of this Force, but are capable of wielding the power that comes from tapping into this energy field that is created by life itself and that surrounds all things.

The two factions are opposite as they focus exclusively on one side of this energy:

• the Light Side, whose adapts are called the Jedi
• the Dark Side, whose adapts are called the Sith

The Jedi are portrayed as self-less, compassionate beings that are using the Force for good, for defence, for expanding their knowledge. They are also encouraged during their training to detach from any emotional connection and desire.

The Sith are seen as selfish, power hungry, who are extremely emotional, prone to anger and using hate to give themselves more power.

These are very interesting symbols to show what real emotional intelligence is about. Emotional intelligence has 4 elements:

1. Self-awareness: knowing your own emotions
2. Self-mastery: managing your own emotions
3. Empathy: awareness of emotions in others
4. Relationships: managing the emotions in others.

It is essential that we are aware of what emotions are and where better to start that with observing those emotions inside ourselves. How else are we ever to develop empathy for other people's emotions if we are not aware of our own?

However, we should be aware of all our emotions: both the 'good' and the 'bad' ones. And I do use quotes here as all emotions have a function. They are indicators of what is going on in our mind. If we are getting angry about something, or feel fear, there is a reason for that. And it is wise to be aware of that reason. Either to work on that and change our emotions in certain circumstances or to heed the warning they give us.

For example, feeling fear because there is a car coming right at us, is a very good protection mechanism. Same goes for anger, there are legitimate reasons in life to feel anger: it can propel us into taking action against a grave injustice.

Emotions are not good or bad in themselves. More important is our reaction to these emotions. As Stephen Covey put it in his first Habit of Highly Effective People, you can be :

• reactive
• pro-active

In order to be pro-active we need to be aware of our emotions and in which situations we feel certain emotions (e.g. each time you need to present to your boss you feel anxious). This allows you to pro-actively do something about the anxious feelings:

• Do you need to prepare better considering your boss is present?
• Can you do some power poses or some breathing exercises to lower your anxiety levels?
• …

The Jedi in my humble opinion go too far in suppressing 'bad' emotions. Remember Yoda's famous saying in Episode I: “Fear is a path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to Anger, Anger leads to Hate … Hate leads to Suffering.”

They have a point where they make sure they are not emotionally too attached or harbour too strong desires. But again, driving it too far will lead to a life without passion. Passion and resourceful desire can drive us towards accomplishing great things (works of art, a promotion, …). Those are not negative things in itself (if you are honest with yourself about why you are desiring those things.

Furthermore, the Jedi are obsessed with destroying the Dark Side (in itself a rather aggressive thing to do) and are without mercy for most of their brothers and sisters who went down the dark path even if it was only out of curiosity.

This, I believe, translates into the obsessive cult of positivism that we see in parts of our culture, where we should be happy all the time (and at all costs). This becomes problematic since most people consider happiness as a sense of excitement and not merely of contentment.

There are times when things are not going our way, when we do feel self-doubt, anger, jealousy, … and that is okay. Again, we need to be aware of those emotions, look for the source and work on being pro-active about them. And most importantly not let those emotions control our daily lives.

Light cannot exist without the Dark. We have both of them inside of ourselves. Spontaneously the symbol of Yin and Yang comes to mind : a balance between our light and dark is important to have wholeness.

Be open and honest towards yourself and about your own emotions, only then will you be able to have honest and trusting connections and relationships with others.

And especially in these interesting times we are living in, we need empathy, both for ourselves and others.

Take care and be kind to each other and yourselves.