Standing up for yourself

Many of us have trouble standing up for ourselves.

I remember an incident when I was 11 years old. Several girls on my school bus decided to pick on me and I couldn’t find the strength to stand up for myself. I just endured the abuse in humiliation until one day, tears were streaming down my face as I cried silently. Seeing this, one of the girls said, “Hey this is not good. Let’s leave her alone.” At that time, I didn’t see myself as likable or competent. How could I have found the strength to stand up for myself? I couldn’t say no to mistreatment from a group of girls I thought had all the qualities I wanted, except one - compassion. But when one girl felt my pain and spoke up on my behalf, I felt seen and validated.?

Shortly thereafter on that same bus, the driver who was always very rude to the students, stopped at a remote spot and ordered us out of the bus where we stood in the winter cold while he yelled that he was going to leave us there to freeze. At that moment I found my voice and pushed to the front of the group to use it. I felt fearless and full of righteous indignation. I said, “You are responsible to take us to school. We were quiet and not causing any problems and I know your name and who to report you to. Just because you’re having a bad day doesn’t make it right for you to treat us this way. You should be an example to us, you're an adult! ”?

The whole group cheered, he opened the bus door and silently took us to school. From that day forward, I was no longer bullied. I had found the courage to stand up for what was right, but it had been made possible by feeling that at least one person in that group cared about my wellbeing.?

The ability to use my voice and stand up for myself and others in that moment came from two sources: standing confidently in my own worth, and feeling the courage that comes from speaking up for justice.?

I just finished running a "5 Day Challenge to Stand up for Yourself". The process was to help people reflect on their own experiences prompted by a daily video and inner refection action item. The goal was to build inner muscles by seeing that you deserve to be respected, and remembering times when you found the courage to stand up for something because the stakes were bigger than your own fears.

Interestingly, during the challenge week, people in the chat group started to give examples of how they were starting to speaking up in their lives - even though that was not the specific goal. It goes to show how important it is for us to engage in targeted reflection to be able to move past obstacles, and how powerful it can be to say it or write down our thoughts.

The result of building inner strength is that the appropriate action has the space to emerge naturally.

To start the process of your own courage muscle building:

1. Find your self-validation by remembering people who have stood up for you in the past,
2. Rise to your own nobility by standing up for a person or cause that takes you beyond your own concerns to something greater.

Although the group challenge is over, if you would like to experience building your own inner courage muscles, the five challenge videos, tip sheets and inspirational quotes for "Stand up for Yourself" are available to you with a $27 VIP access should you so choose.

About the author

Marie Gervais helps people move from work trauma to career transformation. With a Doctorate in culture and learning in the workplace, Certification in Emotional Freedom Coaching, and as a Training and Development Professional, Dr. Gervais has helped hundreds of stuck career professionals and managers take charge of their lives and reach their goals.

If you want to gain new insights and release what is not serving you, and turn wishful thinking into a meaningful, well compensated career, book your career strategy call now!