Standing Strong: Strategies for Handling Bullies in Public Speaking

When you encounter an intimidating person or bully during a speaking engagement, how you respond can turn the tide. Here's a distilled guide to handling such confrontations with grace and impact.

Center Yourself:? Before engaging, take some time alone to recharge.? Breathe slowly and deeply, connect with something more powerful than yourself.? A breath pattern of 4 counts to inhale, 2 hold, 6 counts exhale, 2 hold helps you relax.? The longer exhale is something we naturally do when we relax.

Try it now for just one round, notice how calm it makes you feel.

Keep Your Cool: A calm presence amidst aggression draws a stark, favorable contrast for you. This poise speaks volumes.? A breath pattern of 4 counts to inhale, 2 hold, 4 counts exhale, 2 hold helps maintain calm while you focus on the issues at hand.

Speak Simply and Clearly: Clarity cuts through noise. Avoid the trap of verbal tug-of-war or dense language.

Stand Firm: Your stance, gaze, and gestures should broadcast confidence, not hostility. This silent language is potent.

Avoid Their Traps: Bullies thrive on eliciting knee-jerk reactions. Stick to the essence of the issue and sidestep personal digs.

Don't retaliate with blame; it leads nowhere and makes both look bad.

Avoid adopting the bully’s analogies. Employing their made-up terms lets them set the narrative, putting you at a disadvantage.

Question Wisely: Challenge baseless claims with calm inquiries for proof. This not only shifts the burden back but can also unveil the hollowness of their arguments.

Humor with Care: Timely humor can lighten the mood and draw your audience closer, but tread lightly around serious matters to avoid seeming flippant.

A powerful line that has been used over time is to say with a grin, as if to a child: "Aww, (Bob) there you go again."

A powerful line that has been used over time is to say with a grin, as if to a child: "Aww, (Bob) there you go again."

A sharp, timely line can make the room laugh and swing support your way. It quietly calls out the other's missteps without sinking to their level or sweating the small stuff. It's a clean way to highlight their actions, steering clear of the trivial, like past mistakes.

Assert Yourself: Reaffirm your core messages with conviction. This ensures your voice isn't drowned out by bluster.

If you respond too passively, you may appear weak next to a bully's loud behavior. Match their energy without the blaming. Speak with conviction and passion, but use reason.

Stand strong against bullies. Lean in, keep eye contact, and skip the smile when under attack. This shows you're unfazed. Question them calmly on key points to deflate their bluster.

Find Common Ground: Acknowledging any valid points they make can disarm hostility and demonstrate your openness to dialogue.

Know Your Exit: If dialogue turns futile or hostile, bow out gracefully. This shows your commitment to constructive engagement.

Revisit: Post-encounter, clarify any points that got twisted in the fray. This helps maintain your narrative and integrity.

In essence, facing a bully is not just about the confrontation—it's about communicating effectively and upholding your dignity for yourself, and in the eyes of your audience.

Would you like to learn more speaking tips? Join us Saturday, March 23rd for a free webinar - Mastering Confidence: Conquer Public Speaking Anxiety