Standing in the Crucible

As the total solar eclipse of August 21st nears, I am filled with an unusual tension between an inner knowing of divine centeredness and an anxiety best characterized as frenetic. This tug aptly demonstrates what seems apparent in our collective, that of an impending ‘something.’ And with the dilution of any semblance of truth, particularly in the political sphere, one is left hanging by a shoestring, wondering when the other shoe will drop. Digital virtual reality guides the collective thoughts, ensnaring our individual capacity to think, create and uniquely contribute to the world, distilling human behavior down to Pavlov’s dog salivating each time a buzz, tweet, chirp or ding emanates from our smart phones. So, how do I find respite and direction in the midst of this ever-emerging crucible?

If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen—would be one path to take. But, as I have learned over the years of successes and abysmal failures, standing in the heat, taking on the fear and choosing the road best lit, is always the best choice, even given the urgencies and uncertainties of our present and future outcomes.

To illustrate this crucible experience, I share with you my afternoon yesterday while walking on the golf course, a pastime that brings me into nature and generally provides a meditational balm. Several weeks earlier I made a golfing date with a colleague of mine to tee off at 11:57am for a day of bonding and enjoyment. 11:52am, standing adjacent to the tee box at the first hole, no colleague. A text message unanswered quickly led to calling my friend to check on his arrival. “Wow, Michael, I completely forgot. I’ve been so tied up with closing a real estate deal that it completely slipped my mind,” he stated apologetically. To which, I responded, “I understand. No problem. We’ll get together later in the month.” Hanging up, disappointed with tinges of anger, frustration and questioning my worth to this person, I started the round of golf. The first four holes were some of the worst golf I had played in many years. After dubbing an easy pitch shot into the water hazard to the left of the first green, venomous ire seemed to swirl up my chakras, inviting self-examination. Walking, golf bag strapped across my back, my mind started asking questions.

Why so stressed? What’s the root of my discontent? Is it astrological in nature? Perhaps the energy in between the partial lunar eclipse of August 7th and the upcoming total solar eclipse on August 21, is weighing mightily on my psyche. These and other internal inquiries touched my thinking, leading me to the realization of my own humanness, my own pain and loss, and the inner firestorms that, when fueled properly, ignite and blaze with furor. I was caught in a crucible experience, one requiring attention.

For those reading these words, you may be able to relate by your own experiences. When I become emblazoned by inner firestorms, as was the case as described above, here are 5 steps that I have found to be quite helpful in regaining a semblance of balance.

1.    DON’T REACT- The old notion of counting to 10, or at least 5, before acting or reacting is critically important. Tense, anxiety-provoked events and/or experiences rapid-fire our mental and physiological systems, initiating the fight/flight signals, curtailing rational thought process and best choice-making. Most of us live lives unconsciously motivated, meaning that we are not aware of the deep reservoir of indelible memories and associated emotions impacting our present reality. When something sharply impacts us, the electrical network of our psychic plane is activated, pulling up past memory, pain and emotional imprints. Unconsciously we act. Often times our reactions are mistimed, careless and even aggressive. Wait those few seconds before choosing your actions.

2.    REMEMBER TO BREATHE- One of the most effective methods to reduce the heat of an experience is to breathe deeply. When we become anxious and/or imbued with negative energy, we tend to reduce our breathing to quick shallow breaths, usually from the throat up, rather than fully from the stomach. Four or five intentions deep breaths can immediately slow your heartrate and dramatically reduce inner tension. Breathe into the crucible!

3.    EXPERIENCE THE EMOTIONS- Holding onto negative thoughts and/or emotions is like throwing gasoline on a fire. Working with clients as their life coach, I find that there is a common theme shared that experiencing negative emotions is somehow impugning their ability to thrive or be successful. On the contrary, holding on means energizing that which you want to expunge. Experience the emotions, acknowledge them and let them go. Remember to have compassion on yourself.

4.    EXERCISE CHOICE- For every event, interaction and/or circumstance of your life, you have the human ability to CHOOSE. The choices you make directly impact your reality. Where do these choices reside? Everything starts with your thoughts. I have often coached others to realize that if you want to find something wrong with someone or something, you can do so. However, the same holds true in reverse. Its your choice as to how you interpret yourself in any given situation. Yes, difficulties occur, but how you choose to deal with the challenges ultimately directs your state of being. And most important to remember, it’s not the good times that determine who you are as a human being, but rather those challenging moments that force you to dig deep, rise up and find solutions.

5.    TALK TO YOUR COACH- I subscribe to the belief that everyone on the planet would benefit from great therapy and/or coaching. As a certified life coach, I work with my clients to bring forward the very best in them. To do so is a great honor, in that they trust me, allowing for authentic connection and the ability to support them in realizing their full potential as human beings. Sharing your inner world with another, one who you can feel confident with, is essential to balance of health in body, mind and spirit. Reach out and connect with another!