Stand Up Against Workplace Bullying

He told her to get the air out of her head and learn how to transfer a call.

He told her she was so dumb she would only be able to work assembling parts for an auto manufacturer.

He told her she needed to be more aggressive, even though he illegally contacted her when she was on maternity leave and asked her to resolve a crisis.

These aren’t mere lines; they are actual comments from workplace bullies. These comments were uttered by people with power and privilege. Some were made as far back as 1982, and others are more recent.

Fast-forward 20 years, and the story line hasn’t changed much. Like many people, I have lived through horrible, bullying bosses, investors and coworkers. What I know to be true is that no matter how much we have accomplished, how many accolades we have earned, it is never easy to tolerate bullying. Moreover, this sort of behavior opens the door to other workplace violations.

While I’ve shared just a few examples, it is likely that as soon as you heard the phrase, “workplace bullies,” you thought of someone who has mistreated you or someone whom you know. Perhaps your mind went to ugly words and phrases that a quintessential bully spoke to you.

Maybe it wasn’t what the person said but how the bully said it. Did the individual raise her voice or humiliate you in front of others? Did he yell at you or demean you?

Many of us have had our fair share of workplace bullies, and the passage of time and policies haven’t eradicated them.

In an October 2018 article for the Balance Careers, writer Sally Kane noted that “An estimated 60.3 million Americans have experienced workplace bullying, according to a 2017 study by the Workplace Bullying Institute.”

If workplace bullying is so rampant, there should be a profile of who is most likely to become a workplace bully, right?

From research, we know that a workplace bully is most likely to be:

Someone who has privilege. There are many types of privilege—such as racial, sexual, positional, ability and more. Without intention, people with positional privilege can easily become workplace bullies because they have some level of power. With positional privilege, you are in control of some aspect of others’ lives. You can dump loads of work on colleagues without regard to whether they have the resources to complete the task. People with positional privilege may be in senior leadership, or they may have a long history with the company, meaning they have curried favor with the higher-ups. People with positional privilege are decision-makers; they can make things happen quickly, including hiring and firing. They use this privilege to get others to do what they’d like them to do.

Someone who is insecure. Workplace bullies are easily threatened. They believe the actions of others are always about themselves. If a colleague shines too brightly or is rewarded for hard work, the workplace bully can get jealous. This feeling can lead to bullying and harassment.

Someone who has not done internal work. Each of us have wounds and flaws that, left unchecked, can adversely impact others. The responsible thing to do when we know we are not showing up well or are adversely impacting others is to seek help through therapy, coaching or mindfulness training. To do so requires self-reflection. A workplace bully who wants to improve will take time to invest in personal growth, healing and development.

Someone who suffers from a sociopathic disorder or narcissism. There are some things that can be addressed through workplace coaching. There are other things that require mental supports. Narcissism and sociopathy are prime examples. People with these conditions believe everything is about them, and they have little regard for how their actions impact others. For those who are sociopaths, they may even thrive off bullying, harassing and intimidating others. In this kind of situation, managers should seek professional help or consider corrective action, up to and including termination.

Workplace bullying isn’t just painful to those individuals who are directly affected by it. A July 12, 2012 article in Time Magazine by Gary Belsky notes that “A new study by Canadian researchers, published in the most recent issue of the journal Human Relations, suggests that co-workers who witness bullying are also traumatized by the phenomenon—and are as likely as victims themselves to look for a new job.”

Workplace bullying erodes the workplace culture, which reflects the worst behavior that is tolerated and accepted in an office or workplace. Bullying decreases morale and productivity as well. It creates an environment of mistrust and anxiety. It also opens the doors to other forms of bad behavior. When colleagues are permitted to get away with mistreating others, everyone picks up on the lack of accountability, and bad behavior flourishes.

Regardless of whether or not you are the immediate target, no one benefits from a workplace culture where mistreatment is tolerated. Further, if a culture is negatively impacted by bullying and other forms of misbehavior, turnover increases. When turnover increases, morale dips. When morale dips, productivity also dips. It creates this vicious cycle that is very difficult to break.

Even though we learned in school that “sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you,” I hope that we have advanced in understanding to a common knowledge that words do in fact hurt. It behooves all of us to stand up against workplace bullying.

Clara Conti is a former chief executive officer, serial entrepreneur and corporate restructuring expert. Connect with her on LinkedIn and Twitter.