Stand & Deliver: The Power of Presence

"And what does living come down to but bringing about those changes in ourselves which we have daringly attempted and which can free us to enjoy a richness and closeness with everyone?" Rainer Maria Rilke

Introduction

Can you remember back to when you were young and out at play? How you would pretend to be a super hero or one of your idols or role models, achieving great feats.

Alas, in the transition to adulthood, somehow we lose our way and often our self confidence. Our schooling, our upbringing, our environments all buffet us and too often in ways which misshape our sense of self.

As grown ups, achieving success and well-being often feels like a never-ending race. We juggle multiple tasks, battle distractions, and face constant demands on our time and energy.

In this whirlwind of modern life, it's easy to lose sight of the simple but important concept of "presence" and projecting a confident and true self.

It holds the key to feeling better, projecting better, becoming more effective in life, and getting things done.

The Science of Presence

The past 20 years has seen huge advances in the sciences of psychology and neuroscience.

Amy Cuddy, a renowned social psychologist, explored the transformative power of body language in her book "Presence." Her research illuminated how our physical posture can influence not only how others perceive us but also how we perceive ourselves.

The simple act of adopting expansive, open postures, or "power poses," can elevate our confidence by increasing testosterone levels (the confidence hormone) and reducing cortisol levels (the stress hormone). Other brain chemicals also kick in such as the feel good ones - dopamine and oxytocin.

This hormonal shift is more than just a physiological response; it's a gateway to greater self-assurance, reduced anxiety, and an enhanced sense of presence and feel good in our daily lives.

The power of presence, as Cuddy's work demonstrates, starts from within and radiates outward, shaping how we interact with the world.

Self-Efficacy: Believing in Your Abilities

Albert Bandura, a pioneering psychologist, introduced the concept of self-efficacy, emphasising the importance of believing in our abilities to accomplish tasks.

A strong sense of self-efficacy empowers us to take on challenges with determination and persist in the face of setbacks.

Our presence plays a pivotal role here, acting as the conduit through which we manifest this belief in ourselves.

As we walk tall with an upright and confident posture, we signal to the world, and more importantly, to ourselves, that we are capable and ready to tackle whatever comes our way.

The power of presence helps to fuel our self-efficacy and confidence, enabling us to achieve feats we once deemed insurmountable.

Intrinsic Motivation: The Drive Within

Dan Pink's book "Drive" unveils the significance of intrinsic motivation, where our actions are fueled by internal satisfaction rather than external rewards.

When our presence aligns with our core values and passions, we experience a deep sense of fulfillment that propels our productivity and creativity.

Intrinsic motivation becomes the driving force that propels us toward our goals, ensuring that our efforts are not merely driven by external factors but are rooted in genuine passion and commitment.

Our presence in these moments reflects our deep connection with the task at hand, leading to greater effectiveness and personal fulfillment.

The Alter Ego: Unleash Your Inner Superhero

Todd Herman's concept of the alter ego invites us to adopt different personas to overcome limitations and perform at our best. By embodying the qualities of role models or fictional characters, we tap into a wellspring of confidence and capability.

Being present in our "alter ego" moments allows us to shed self-doubt and embrace our hidden potential fully.

It's a powerful technique that reminds us that our presence is not fixed; it's a malleable force that we can shape and mold to suit our aspirations and goals.

Beware the Smartphone Slouch

In the digital age, our smartphones and tablets have become extensions of ourselves. Yet, the constant use of these devices often leads to a slouched posture, symbolising our retreat into a smaller self.

This posture not only affects our physical health but also our mental state, inducing feelings of fatigue and diminished confidence.

To counter the digital dilemma, it's imperative to be mindful of our device usage. Allocate dedicated times for checking emails and social media, all the while maintaining an upright and confident posture.

Put away those devices in meetings, family meals and social situations. Be present! Respect your companions.

By doing so, we remind ourselves that our presence extends beyond the virtual world, instilling a sense of control and empowerment.

Are You With Me? Practical Steps

With these insights in mind, let's explore practical steps to integrate the power of presence into our daily lives.

1. Powerful Posture: Make it a habit to sit and stand with an open, confident posture. It not only influences how others perceive you but also boosts your self-esteem.
2. Visualise Success: Create mental images of success to reinforce your confidence and motivation. Visualising success makes your goals more tangible and attainable.
3. Mindful Breathing: Incorporate mindful breathing exercises into your routine to reduce stress, improve focus, and enhance your sense of presence.
4. Time Management: Prioritise tasks, set realistic deadlines, and avoid multitasking. Focusing on one task at a time improves effectiveness.
5. Gratitude Practice: Express gratitude regularly to cultivate a positive mindset and enhance overall well-being.
6. Self-Efficacy: Believe in your abilities and take on challenges with determination and resilience. Each small victory reinforces your self-efficacy.
7. Intrinsic Motivation: Align your actions with your passions and values to tap into the intrinsic motivation that drives you to succeed.
8. Mindful Device Usage: Limit smartphone and tablet usage, and maintain good posture during screen time to stay grounded and confident.
9. Set Clear Intentions: Define your goals and intentions before starting a task to stay focused and committed.
10. Embrace Your Alter Ego: When faced with challenges, embody the qualities of your alter ego to overcome self-doubt and unleash your potential. Act out the part - your confident voice projection and expanded physical presence.
11. Continuous Learning: Cultivate a growth mindset and engage in lifelong learning. Embrace challenges as opportunities for personal growth and development.
12. Reflect and Learn: After completing a task or project, take time to reflect on what went well and what could be improved. This practice enhances self-awareness and resilience.
13. Connect with Nature: Spend time in natural surroundings to recharge your mind and body, enhancing your presence and clarity.
14. Quality Sleep: Prioritize quality sleep by establishing a regular sleep routine. A well-rested mind and body are better equipped for energetic presence and effectiveness. Who likes a literal deadbeat?
15. Minimalism: Reduce clutter and distractions in your physical and digital environments to create a peaceful atmosphere that fosters focus and presence.
16. Gravitate Towards Positivity: Surround yourself with positive people and influences, uplifting books, inspirational quotes, and supportive relationships to amplify your sense of presence and motivation.
17. Yoga for Mind-Body Connection: Yoga emphasizes mindfulness, body awareness, suppleness, fitness and breath control. It enhances physical presence, reduces stress, and fosters mental clarity, making it an excellent complement to your journey towards a more powerful presence.
18. Tai Chi for Balance and Fluidity: Tai Chi's slow, flowing movements improve balance, stability, and mental focus. It encourages a calm mind and adaptability, promoting a harmonious presence that translates into your daily interactions.
19. Dance for Expression and Confidence: Dance is a form of self-expression that enhances body awareness, coordination, and flexibility. It allows you to express emotions physically, fosters social connections, and uplifts your spirits.
20. Nudge: Putting the above steps into regular habits in small steps will create new positive habits and create a better sense and practice of presence for you. Better self projection means better outcomes in everyday life.

Conclusion

In the grand tapestry of our lives, the power of presence stands as a vibrant and dynamic thread that weaves together physical projection, mindset, and emotional well-being.

It's an intricate dance where our confident posture fuels a positive mindset, which in turn nurtures emotional well-being, creating an unstoppable feedback loop.

Like the tides, presence may ebb and flow, requiring constant practice, learning, and adjustment.

Yet, the rewards it bestows are profound: the ability to get things done with grace, cultivate meaningful relationships, and experience a profound sense of personal fulfillment.

So, as we navigate the intricate web of life, let's remember that presence is not just about how we appear in the world but how energetically and authentically we show up, whether in the company of others or in the sacred solitude of self-discovery.

It's a journey worth embarking on, for in its embrace, we unlock the boundless potential within us.

To your success!

Frank Choy

21 January 2024

Recommended reading:

"Own The Room", Amy Jen Su & Muriel Maignan Wilkins, Harvard Business Review Press, 2013

"Presence", Amy Cuddy, Hachette, 2015

"The Alter Ego Effect", Todd Herman, Harper Collins, 2019

"Self Efficacy", Albert Bandura, Worth, 2023

"Drive", Daniel Pink, Canongate, 2010