Stage direction for leaders

"Don't just do something, stand there"

This line has been attributed to many. I read it most recently whilst enjoying the autobiography of Brian Cox (he of many roles, but now of the amazing, 'Succession')

It followed a book gifted to me by a former boss and friend which focused entirely on the gift of not interrupting others. (by Nancy Kline).

Those that know me would say that I am not excellent with silence, I enjoy conversation almost as a sport and, at my worst, fill it with triviality. However, as I have become more experienced, I have learned to value the gift of silence and allowing others to fill the gaps in conversation. I found that I learn more that way.

Some of my 'practices' are simple:

• Let the person/s speaking simply continue, don't fill the first pause in conversation.
• If there is a natural pause, encourage the other party to continue either with a, "Please, keep going" or, "I am interested in hearing more" or simply good eye contact/encouraging body language.
• Try going in to a conversation with no agenda of your own, simply to hear what's been said. This can be hard. In some roles I am often 'expected' to contribute and when that contribution constitutes only 'listening' there can be all kinds of anxiety going through my head over what I am 'expected' to say or do. Practice, swallowing this at times (it's often only you thinking it anyway!)
• Become great at asking good questions. Questions to understand, not to demonstrate knowledge.

So, this week, try it. Don't just do or say something, stand there.

Thanks for reading.