Spotting the signs of financial abuse

When one person in a relationship deprives the other from accessing financial resources or deprives them of their ability to earn money, this is known as financial abuse.

It is a way for the dominant partner to control the other, ensuring they cannot leave the relationship.

Financial abuse is a genuine issue in the UK. Nearly two out of five adults have experienced it in their current or former relationships, according to a report by The Co-operative Bank and Refuge, the UK’s largest domestic abuse charity.

The signs of financial abuse

Financial abuse is commonly carried out by a partner, but this could also be a family member, friend or even a carer.

The following list gives some of the signs that you are suffering financial abuse:

Do you feel you are being restricted from going to work?

? Does your partner make you account for everything you spend your money on?

? Have credit cards and/or loans been taken out in your name without your permission?

? Are your household bills in your name only?

? Is money being spent without you being informed first?

? Have you been forced to hand over control of your accounts?

? Does your partner use your property or take money without your consent?

? Do you have to ask or even beg for money when you need it?

? Are you given a strict allowance and cannot access any more money?

? Does your partner threaten to end the relationship unless you buy them something?

? Have you been stopped from finishing your education?

? Has your partner made threats to evict you if you don’t comply with their wishes?

Money problems or financial abuse?

It is important to be clear whether you are facing money issues in your relationship or being subjected to financial abuse.

If your partner is genuinely concerned about spending and how much money you have as a couple, that requires open and constructive discussion. It does not necessarily mean that?they are trying to control you.

It may be beneficial to designate one of you to manage your finances if the other feels it would positively impact the situation. The key here is that both parties consent to whatever actions are agreed with regards to managing money?– even if that results in restricted spending.

However, if you cannot access your money because your partner is “being careful”, having had no discussion with you, that is financial abuse.

Significantly, uneven resources with one person assuming control of cash allocation is financial abuse. How to stop financial abuse

Once you recognise you are in a financially abusive relationship, you can do something about it. It may be challenging, but making a clear plan to escape the controls of your partner is essential.

Here are steps you should take to make that break:

? Tell someone. Getting emotional and practical support from a friend, family member, work colleague or someone you trust is vital in helping you achieve freedom.

? Gather all your key documents such as birth certificate, driving licence, passport, marriage certificate, ownership deeds, anything that is material to your identity and your financial situation. Keep them in a secure location away from your partner. Financial abusers are prone to confiscating these types of documents preventing you from getting access to money, property or independence.

? Find out every asset that is in your name including mortgage, tenancy agreements, loans, credit cards and any other joint assets you accumulated.

? Cancel joint bank accounts or credit cards. This may affect your credit score in the short term but will prevent any increase in debt you cannot otherwise control.

? Change online passwords so your partner can no longer access accounts.

? Open a bank account in your name.

? Check your credit report and look for any adverse history that you are not familiar with.

Financial abuse is a crime Nobody should have to face domestic abuse, whether it be physical, mental or financial. However, breaking free can seem nigh impossible and terribly daunting for the victim.

It’s crucial to remember abuse is a crime not to be taken lightly and is never your fault.

If you think you are a victim of financial abuse, use our list above to determine how many signs apply to your relationship.

Once you can recognise the problem, you will hopefully find the courage to act. If counselling is not going to resolve the problem, please take steps to get your independence back.

There are some excellent organisations in the UK providing invaluable support to millions of women to extract themselves from abusive relationships and get their lives back.

Contact them and get help to take control of your life.

? The Refuge National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247

? Women’s Aid Support: www.womensaid.org.uk

? RCJ Advice: www.rcjadvice.org.uk

You can read more about how to manage your money and build your financial future in my book 'She Can Prosper'