Spotting & Closing Unwanted Opened Doors 3 - Conditioned to Accept Scraps
Photo by Francesca Antichi

Spotting & Closing Unwanted Opened Doors 3 - Conditioned to Accept Scraps

When was the door of ‘accept scraps’ opened over your life??

In childhood, at the onset of a toxic relationship or the first time you got overlooked for that promotion you were up for and you said nothing?

I’ve observed over the years how some people use language and toxic behaviours to condition others to accept scraps? Have you noticed this too?

Could it be that you're being conditioned to accept scraps in relationships, friendships, work life and other types of interactions??

What impact would that have on your health and well being?

Gravity says if your foot slips your going down. The level of injury sustained is dependent on the degree or height from which you slipped. That’s a natural law at work in our matrix/reality/ earthly existence.?

If there are physical, spiritual or moral laws that govern everything around us, then...?

What are the implications for the degree to which someone is conditioned to accept scraps??

Would it affect their health and well being?

What are the likely effects or outcome of such conditioning?

If being conditioned to accept scraps in your family, on the job or within any other type of relationship is a door opened over your life, can it be slammed shut??

Believe it or not, only you hold the answer to that question inside yourself.

Awareness is the place from which the blueprint-response that is right for you is birthed.

To be given scraps is to be treated with disrespect whether overtly or covertly. This may play out in different ways but when you evaluate the language and behaviour you’ll see the root of persistent disrespect. You’ll probably also see that it is perpetrated against you but not others. It is often coupled with intermittent positive reinforcement to make you doubt if there is malicious disrespect at play.?

Recognising it could be different for everyone because, as with differences in pain thresholds, people have different levels of disrespect thresholds. Perpetrators may persist until you draw the line.

I’ve worked with women and children fleeing domestic abuse as well as others suffering due to emotional abuse, and neglect. The combinations and ways in which ‘conditioning for scraps’ may playout is endless; especially in covert abusive contexts. However something deep inside all these women and children knew something was off, even with? the intermittent positives being injected.?

I listened to a manager tell his team once, that he was awaiting result re a medical issue that had surfaced for him, and that they were not to take it personally if he had a go at them and or treated them unfairly. My first thought was, “Did he just prime his team to accept abuse?” You can imagine how the next few weeks played out for some!

Recently in my readings I came across an important finding which pointed out that, children exposed to trauma in the form of abuse, humiliation, emotional abandonment etc., may fail to protest if they are being mistreated as adults.? Some people will need advocates and others will need to be empowered to be self-advocates. It may start with closing that unwanted door of being conditioned to accept scraps.

Poor treatment or good treatment influence how people define themselves and takes us back to identity. Who am I in this regard? I am the man who… I am the woman who…(fill in the blank).

Check your identity script that is being played in the background of your mind. If it is in alignment with “accepting scraps”, let’s close that door and open a new door that will serve you better. Step into the new. The relief you seek is seeking you.

Wishing you an ‘evaluate and reinvent yourself’ day.?

I help individuals who are seeking increased emotional and spiritual wholeness design a blueprint to a fulfilling life through one to one and small group coaching.



Annecha J. S.

Personal / Professional Growth and Wellbeing Coach: I empower emerging women leaders and teams to accomplish their leadership & wellbeing goals with integrity.

3 年

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