Splintered

These are their stories, written through their eyes...

I am a father to four children and my wife is European, but lives in the US. I am from Austria and have lived in Germany (I didn't like it there), South Africa, England, Canada and the US - legally and illegally. I've worked or studied in all of these countries. It was the most difficult to find a flat in London, so I decided to enroll in Uni.

I speak Austrian German, English, French, Italian, Swedish, some Romanian and my background is Swedish, Polish and Austrian. I dream in German.

After studying cinematography in California, I worked without papers without any problem in Los Angeles...I enjoyed this period a lot, but I never had a moment of rest because of all the activities to do there: ski, surf, party and all that - but I had to change where I was living. Even though I had everything I needed, I didn't like the warm weather, and there were no seasons, I became annoyed because there was never a down time or lazy time, so I had to leave.

I've traveled and lived in other North American places too -- Oregon, Utah, Colorado.

I've lived alone and I'm that type of person - contemplative, alone in several ways, literally, especially mentally. I love adventure, but with adventure, there are two sides of the coin:

1?? I have lost a lot of time with my kids during my time traveling abroad.

2?? It can be a great opportunity to grow with a longing to learn.

I lived out of a suitcase for five years, it was a great experience but my life was in ruins...I mean my connections, past friendships, they couldn't survive my life as a world traveler...when I wanted to come back home, I no longer had friends in my homeland.

I have no home.

I lost my home due to Covid, if you had asked me before Covid, I would've said that Austria was my home. I don't feel connected to this country....I don't belong...I have kids here and mountains...but I don't want to be part of that society...it's xenophobic... with the pandemic bringing out the worst, almost like a nazi state...I feel more connected to the US right now.... It has to do with the people's mindset, it's more like...'we have to live with it' although Austria has lockdowns too.

I'm less interested in traveling now, because I wouldn't have the same reaction as I did in the past.

I missed my kids the most when I was away, I missed a lot of years...maybe four? because I was traveling...it's a coin with two sides: on one side, it was very sad celebrating my birthday on a plane (the dirty side). The stewardess and passengers wished me happy birthday with a cake...

that affected me...

but then I spent the next birthday and New Years in the mountains.

After all the traveling, I became very introverted.....I was very extroverted before...maybe because Austria is so xenophobic... I grew up in an violent environment and my dad was violent, and I never felt it was a safe place.... I didn't have a home...

I don't know what home is....maybe I don't have a home...I think a Greek philosopher said, "All I know is that I do not know."

I recently lived in Thailand for several months and there I saw a Buddha statue. During the months I was there, I lived in a monastery for four weeks, the time there opened up my mind a lot.

As a cinematographer, I have created documentaries and years ago decided to film some of the people escaping from ungoverned lands our of Morocco to get to Italy. I was traumatized...it makes you think and see things in a completely different way and it changes you.

In Africa, it was a war between tribes, trafficking of people...we were with a film crew, and had to go through military training and carry weapons, but you're not safe! Even though you are told you're in a 'safe' environment. Is my life worth more than the other? I saw people so poor and and so wealthy, it makes you humble. We interviewed both sides in the conflict, the Moroccan government was contributing to the problem by supplying each side with arms.

If I were to travel again, I would go to the Hill Tribes in North Thailand - it's a group of tribes...to get there it's four or five hours of driving...there is nothing for hours...then all of sudden there is little village....a school with 400 kids!

I thought my kids being happy was a smile.. oh my child is safe and happy....then I saw these kids and I thought "this is a real smile".

I was with a camera crew and we were all very tall, like a basketball team and they were all touching us.....our faces and hair...