The Spiritual Response to Being Ghosted

We have all been there. You dedicate your time through research, re-writing resumes, laborious job applications, doing psychological and technical assessments, and a number of interviews some of which require you to hire a babysitter so you have the time available for an interview, to only be waiting for a response from a perspective employer saying yay or nay. Some thoughtful organizations will send a job offer or invitation to another round of interviews, and some will send an e-mail which goes along the lines of, "After careful consideration, we have decided to go in another direction......". Well at least you get closure of some sort. Next!

Unfortunately, there are too many organizations which instead of giving you a response about your job candidacy respond with silence. A week becomes two then three. Follow up e-mails get no response. The recruiter pulls a D.B. Cooper and the hiring manager has up and vanished like Keyser Soze. Then it dawns on you that yeah, you've been ghosted. 15, 20, 30 years of work experience and industry wide respect makes no difference, sorry kid you weren't important enough to at least warrant a "let's just be friends" response.

Across many faiths and belief systems, the concept of an internal battle between good and evil is very common. Think of the popular analogy of an angel whispering in one ear while a devil is whispering in the other. In Judaism, we call it the "Yetzer Ha Tov" - good inclination and the "Yetzer Ha Ra" - evil/bad inclination. In terms of what is considered evil/bad we often elude to emotions driven by ego, or feelings such as jealousy, anger, self doubt, greed, gluttony, revenge, etc. The kind of emotions that drag on your soul. In response to being ghosted, the more immediate thoughts, speech, and actions just might be driven by that evil inclination.

It is natural to feel some kind of knee jerk, bad intention toward someone or entity that you felt has wronged you, though it doesn't always make it right. Ego has a way of putting one in not the best frame of mind, especially when being ghosted by a large corporate entity that prides itself on being socially responsible.

I have been there, I won't lie. Got ghosted and my immediate emotions were like Denzel Washington's character Alonzo Harris from the movie Training Day but applied to my industry, "You're ghosting me? No you didn't, no you didn't. Ghosting me? You think that you can do this to me? Alright, alright, I am opening red team cases on your company and will expose your sleeping guards, inept agents, and poor management. With 30 years experience in global security, protection, and intelligence, King Kong got nothing on me".

Ego had gotten the better part of me in the past. That evil inclination got me triggered with a sense of entitlement. Ironically, as someone that once ran informants, I used to leverage my assets' egos to extract information or to undertake a task, and here I am putting myself in such a vulnerable and improper position on account of my own ego - where someone can exploit me. Not cool.

The better plan of action in the face of being ghosted would be to embrace those good inclinations that reside inside us. It is not always easy to walk in the light when the immediate gratification of evil inclinations is percolating beneath the surface of our being. In any case, we need to be vigilant of our thoughts speech, and actions and mindful of the impact that they can make. How do we access those positive vibes? We have have to ask ourselves some basic questions whenever we feel wronged:

1) What can I learn from this outcome?

2) How can I grow as a person from this outcome?

3) What are positive actions that I can take to ensure favorable future results?

A forward looking mentality will serve one better in the long run than stewing in anger and resentment over past results. Keeping your negative emotions in check while leveraging good and creative inclinations will definitely lead you down a brighter path both professionally and personally.