Spiritual Care Provider and Poet

Reflective writing is an important part of my spiritual practice and my wellbeing as a healthcare professional. I’m grateful for recent collaborations with The Human Touch, a literary journal for the Anschutz Medical Campus at the University of Colorado, as well as Z Publishing House. This piece was originally published in a 2018 poetry anthology from Z Publishing. I hope it sheds light on the frequent role of accompaniment in a chaplain’s care for patients and families. The third section, in particular, emerged from a difficult case that highlighted the best of interdisciplinary teamwork.

A Study of Hands

I.

In my Baptist faith tradition

the call of a minister is confirmed by the

Laying on of Hands.

A patient takes my hands

in fear and prayer:

“Be my chaplain,”

the weight conveys.

II.

Sometimes words are not enough and

too much at the same time

and my role spills over into touch.

The wife of a patient makes it clear

that her greatest need

is to be in physical proximity

to other beating hearts,

as if collectively we could will

her husband’s to beat again.

When we hold hands that first morning

and bend our heads together,

I notice her shimmering gold manicure.

On the day she decides it is time

to release her hope for a mended heart,

I am still close enough to see

how far her nails have grown.

III.

The neurosurgeon waits for the priest.

They are bound together in their care

for a patient who will not survive the night.

One relieves intracranial pressure,

the other salves with oil.

Then both put a hand on the shoulder

of a disbelieving spouse.

Her hands, meanwhile, are occupied—

both clenching my hand and rubbing

the pendant of Mother Mary jammed between us.

The edge of the metal cuts, then throbs,

then sinks from my hand into my heart,

reminding me of the pain she will feel

long after the release of our grip.

Revelle, Rachel. “A Study of Hands.” America’s Emergin