What A Day In Prison Taught Me About The Growth Mindset

Recently, I spent a day in a max security California state penitentiary with a group of 75 members of the tech community led by Mark Suster and Brad Feld. I was there with Defy Ventures to judge a business plan competition for EITs (“Entrepreneurs-In-Training” who happened to be incarcerated), at the end of which the grand prize reward was $500 to the EIT who placed first. But the true reward was pride and hope that could be paid forward into the EIT’s personal lives and the prison culture more broadly to create a multiplier effect.

While the prize that day was money (EIT’s can ultimately qualify for $20,000 of start-up capital when they are released from prison), the real prize was mine was being exposed to the boundless potential of men who were behind bars for years and possibly for life who through this program internalized forgiveness and synthesized hope into action. If men who were born into gangs and drugs can transform into legal business owners and pillars for their families, then the implications for broader society are tremendous.

Many of these men were lifers who had committed violent crimes. Many also had received three strikes at once when they were juveniles. I was a bit frightened walking into the prison and yet, as Mark Suster first explained, I hadn’t felt that human since my kids were born- vulnerable, proud, touched, connected.

To get a sense of the full experience, read Mark Suster’s post here or Kerri Shea Beers post here. Read these posts and you will get it it. Trust me, it is emotional. It is inspiring. Selfishly, it is also the cheapest therapy you can ever get.

Why Defy?

Defy Ventures is an entrepreneurship, employment, and character development training program for currently and formerly incarcerated men, women, and youth. The Defy program was started five years ago by Cat Hoke, a visionary leader who is inspiring inmates, volunteers and as importantly, wardens and guards, to bring Defy’s EIT program into their institutions. And it works. Big Time. For its 500 graduates, Defy has a recidivism rate (e.g., % who return to prison) of < 4% and for the typical prison population, it is closer to 80%. For the 1,200 inmates currently in training while in prison, it is much more than a training course, it is a prescription for hope and empowerment that can be woven into the difficult culture of prisons.

Growth Mindset on Steroids

In the VC community, we frequently talk these days about Carol Dweck’s Growth Mindset or Angela Duckworth’s Grit when discussing the traits we look for in entrepreneurs?—?namely approaching a goal not yet accomplished with a sense of “not yet,” effort trumping ability and the importance of stick-to-it-iveness (which can be learned). These are the buzzy words and books of the moment and something we look for not just in the people we fund but also the children we raise. Just call a little kid “pretty/handsome” or “smart” and yuppie parents will say no please tell her/him she/he worked hard!

But it was my day at Defy Ventures that exposed me to the ultimate growth mindset and grit. While Defy is about training natural born hustlers to translate those skills into a future, legal, cash flowing profession (goal is to build a business that generates cashflow within 3 months), it is just as much about bringing hope and a particular mindset into the prison population and training inmates to believe in themselves and to mentor others.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T (Give to Get)

For EIT’s to internalize that growth mindset, the program provides roles models and mentors that reinforce that hope and self-respect. Most of us take for granted having a parent or teacher or coach believe in us, respect us. And for it to really mean something, it must be mutual. Think about the coach you despised and treated you like a cog versus the one who took the time to understand you as a full human being.

How do we build respect for the other who looks and sounds and exists in a space we have never fathomed? How do we make our busy selves vulnerable and open up to someone we have just met? How do we create the same values regardless of where we sleep, the color of our skin or the way we worship (religious or just plain values)?

Defy does it by helping each attendee be very present by not just showing up at jail but by giving focused time to be in the moment entirely and shutting out the outside world. Attendees prepare for the day in advance by watching a video and planning an outfit to fit the mandated dress code (for me black pants, white shirt, no underwire bra). Most importantly, Defy prepares you to leave all your “board emergencies” or “last minute financing issues” or “my kid was up all night” topics at home, just for one day. Expectations are set firmly. Bring your A game and leave it all on the field.

Perhaps, most frightening (and liberating), was when we arrived at prison, we were stripped of our phones for the ten hours we were in jail. When was the last time you didn’t touch your phone for ten daylight hours?

Defy also makes the day fun?—?dancing, DJs, rap competitions. These activities serve the dual purpose of connecting to EITs and deepening relationships with friends and colleagues in ways that happen rarely in today’s time strapped, transactional tech world.

My deepest connection was with an EIT named Andre. I won’t share Andre’s crimes, in fact I have forgotten them as I am writing a few weeks later. They weren’t excusable, but they are not what I remember from our day together. I remember staring into his eyes across a line in an empathy exercise that was one of the seminal moments of the day (best described by Kerri Shea Beers) as we shared deeply personal parts of our lives. I remember crossing the line to hold his hand (a handshake is the most intimate form of interaction allowed) when we both started tearing up. I remember being so impressed that he had educated himself in prison to work as a law clerk, which he only disclosed after ten hours together. And I remember him telling me about his father who has cancer and his hope that he would be able to call him and tell him about this day and make his dad proud.

The respect was mutual. It was a respect that required hours of at times uncomfortable investment and a commitment to understanding our differences and similarities. It’s not something I could fake even if I tried. Our day in prison does this in a short time by giving us all space to strip down into our best, most vulnerable selves and to find common ground across so much built in distance.

When We Give, We Receive

Yes we give to the EITs. The EITs are transitioning their hustle and being shown a path not just to legal forms of money making, but a path to a life where they can value and respect themselves and their loved ones.

Defy collectively gives to society. Paying this backward, programs like Defy could transform the entire penal system and head off crime at its earliest stage with a massive multiplier effect on the mindset of our inner cities. The data proves this without a doubt.

And on the personal level, Defy gave me a chance to connect at a human level beyond the usual fancy charity boards, events and comfortable community service days. It shocked me into a mode where I wanted to improve at an exponential rate. And it did more than that, with the data coming out of this program, it convinced me that massive, near-term impact is possible through this progam. If EITs can reduce the recidivism rate down to a fraction of normal, then imagine what this program could do to our system of incarceration and education far beyond its current scope.

This is a year of reflection, pain and fear for many of us. It is a year when we realize our country is angry and is changing with many left behind or in the process of being left. It should be a year when we all find productive ways to be more human and remove our differences for good.

Join me next time at Defy Ventures.

Read all the posts in this series here