'Special' Medicine

I can recall that my earliest adventures with psychedelics were primarily about searching for a safe refuge that was new and fresh, challenging, and yet a realm that I could visit with my closest friends. Growing up in the Berkeley hills we had heard tales of psychedelia from our parents and their travels in the 60's counter culture. That counter culture is springing up again today, but as this generation approaches, new wonders and pitfalls are blossoming to meet the tide.

One adventure in particular is standing out to greet me. It was Saturday afternoon and my best friend Eric and I had bought a few tabs each from a venerable hippie at People's Park. I remember him blessing us with a crystal, that he kept in his mouth for just such an occasion, and instructing us to take the tabs immediately while his blessings were still active. Sensing that our impending trip was looming we headed for the #7 bus to Grizzly Peak.

With the bus on its way to our stop at the edge of Summit Reservoir, the Acid was beginning to manifest in subtle tracers and audio hallucinations triggered by the bus' powerful motor (a friend of ours called it the Muzak Dragon). Arriving at the summit, we got off the bus, made our way down the hill into Tilden Park on Canon Dr., and crossed the valley's floor and up into the hills. Somewhere above Lake Anza we were feeling the trip's peak approaching, so we lay down in the grass amongst the Pine and Eucalyptus trees.

I remember playing with dandelion flowers, amidst my foraging thoughts and beckoning feelings, until the sun began to set. Getting up, I was filled with a surprising vigor and started to walk towards the edge of the nearby riverbank. I didn't have any idea about how I was going to cross the water when I found myself embracing a slender tree growing in front of me. In no time at all, I had begun to walk up the tree, still lightly grasping hold, as it slowly bent over the river. Having crossed ten feet of the river like this, I jumped to the ground and was met with my friends eyes, bulging in merriment and surprise.

Telling this tale of my youthful journey brings a sense of refreshing lightness to my mind. The memory is light and active or Yang in nature, like the sun shining through the window. As its warmth begins to fade a cool breeze lingers and brings further scents, drawing me further in. Cool, dark and Yin in nature are these visions, yet piercing in their function and meaning. Yang within Yin.

That summer, spent tripping and exploring Tilden Park, marked the end of my relationship with the Christian god. I remember sitting on the grass, at the parks entrance, telling Eric that I couldn't hear God speaking to me. There was a different path leading me away. That year I began meditating and shortly after found my way to the Empty Gate Zen Center on Arch St. After many years of practice and suffering I've begun to realize that God and awareness (the foundation on Zen practice) are one.

This realization may be in part due to micro-dosing. Part of my Chinese medicine prescription is Spirit Pearls, which contain Yunshi as one of it's ingredients. Yunshi is a psychedelic herb found in China.

When I first started taking it I would double the dose, taking half in the afternoon to help with anxiety and half at night for insomnia. I remember sitting at the dining room table and beginning to feel the effects come on. A family member walked past me into the kitchen and her thoughts were spilling out as if she were speaking to me right in my face.

I believe that Yunshi's effect was so pronounced due to it being the first time that I had taken it. Many months later I experimented with tripling the dose one night and something similar happened. In the traditional literature, the Shennong Bencao, it explains that the flowers could enable one to see spirits, and when taken in excess, cause one to stagger madly. If taken over a prolonged period, they produce somatic levitation and effect communication with spirits.

Spirit in Chinese medicine refers to something light, fast, and active. Somatic levitation basically means feeling light in your body. Communication with Spirit means being at ease with your body, emotions, perceptions, thoughts, and consciousness. The five Spirits comprising the Shen!