And Speaking Of... Self-Regulation

This week's LinkedIn article was inspired by a conversation with a dear friend going through an extraordinarily difficult personal situation. She's been entangled in a battle with an irrational and alcoholic ex-husband who continues to violate custody arrangements, creating one of the most toxic family dynamics imaginable. My friend has been trapped in this cycle for so long, and I've witnessed her undertake one of the strongest personal development journeys of anyone I know. Her resilience allows her to remain focused - and frankly, sane - in the midst of complete chaos, heartbreak, and dysfunction.

During our recent conversation, we talked about how to practice radical acceptance. She shared invaluable guidance on accepting and letting go of past situations, especially those I've wished had turned out differently. I often replay frustrating scenarios in my head, harboring resentment, but she gently reminded me that holding onto these stories only hurts me.

It's like that famous quote: "Being angry and resentful toward someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."

As she shared her wisdom, she introduced the term "self-regulate." For her, navigating life's curveballs, particularly the unwanted ones, means having the situational awareness to avoid matching the negative energy around you. Instead, she practices taking a pause to self-regulate, ensuring that she doesn't react from a triggered place.

She also emphasized the importance of strong personal habits that prevent us from completely losing control in difficult moments or spiraling into self-pity or even depression. Simple practices like taking a walk, doing breathwork, exercising, and meditating are all examples of how we can self-regulate and set ourselves up for success.

While we can't stop negative or unwanted situations from occurring, we can control how we respond to them and how much space we allow them to occupy in our minds. There have been many instances in my professional life where I let myself get emotionally hijacked by situations I had no control over. This manifested physically, especially in my gut - an almost literal "gut punch." Recognizing this pattern helps me stop the fast-moving train of negative thoughts, slow down, and intentionally change course. Some situations are easier to navigate than others, but when I feel it in my stomach, I know it's time to do the work and get myself into a better headspace.

Building mental strength is essential for both personal and professional growth. The journey is ongoing, and no one is ever perfect. I encourage you to think about how you self-regulate and explore what that looks like for you. I hope you have people in your life who can offer incredible wisdom, as I do, and who feel brave enough to call you out when you're heading down a self-sabotaging path. I'm grateful to my friend, inspired by her mental resilience, and in awe of the beautiful light she continues to shine despite the darkness that has tried to consume her.

What comes up for you as you read my article this week? What does self-regulation mean for you? Share your thoughts with me in the comments below. I always appreciate the engagement for my articles.