Speaking (and hearing) truth to power

When I was studying for my A-levels, our head of sixth form (let’s call her Miss Brice), was awful. 35-ish years later, I can’t remember what she did that was so awful, I just remember that we all disliked and feared her. To paraphrase the great Maya Angelou, people will forget what you said and did, they will only remember how you made them feel. In hindsight, she was trying to do her best with a group of arrogant, know-it-all 17 year-olds.

I was the spokesperson for the Sixth Form Committee, which officially organised social events for the sixth form, and unofficially acted as a student union. As spokesperson, every time we had a grievance (and we had a LOT!) I would sweep self-righteously to her office, or I’d stand up in assembly, and demand action. Was I terrified? Of course! I was 17 and didn’t have a clue how to have these conversations. But I was driven by the desire to make things better, and yes - to have the admiration of my fellow students for having the guts to tell a powerful teacher exactly what we thought of her. In public.

Miss Brice could barely contain her schadenfreudic glee when I didn’t get the A-level grades I needed to take up my university place. And who could blame her? I’d been the spokesperson for every little grievance we sixth formers felt. I’d been self-righteous, scathing, and not stopped for a moment to think how hearing our unfiltered opinions of her might make her feel, or how it might influence her response to me.?

With the rise of Employee Resource Groups (ERGs), truth-to-power conversations that maintain mutual respect is a much-needed skill on both sides. ERGs exist to amplify the voice of under-represented employees and address the barriers to equity inside the company. ERG leaders are the spokespeople, and have the tricky balancing act of being truthful with someone who has power over their reputation and future employment. Senior sponsors may find themselves listening to what they consider well-worn issues or petty complaints in the big scheme of things and want to dilute or dismiss them.

It takes courage to both speak and hear truth to power. These conversations need to take place in a brave space created by both parties if they are to succeed. Here’s some ideas for how to do that:

Speaking truth to power

Make it your business to build a positive relationship with your senior sponsor. They’ve stepped up because they want to help. Demonstrate that you want them to succeed, and you understand the pressures of the business. The more trust you can build, the more likely you are to be able to address the sensitive topics that get glossed over in a casual conversation or public forum. You want your sponsor to be looking forward to your conversations, not inwardly sighing when they see it on the calendar.

• Make sure that you’re representing the views or suggestions of the collective ERG, not your personal pet peeves or projects.?
• Think about what you want from the conversation and be prepared to ask for it. “This issue really matters to the ERG members and they feel that the leadership team isn’t taking it seriously. Could you sponsor an education campaign and help us get some resources to create it?”
• Have a positive solution and alternative to offer, rather than asking the sponsor to come up with a suggestion.?
• Be aware that you have power and influence too. The way you represent the conversation to the ERG members impacts on the collective perspective of the leader and their efficacy as a sponsor.
• Summarise and tell the sponsor what you’ll be reporting back to the ERG.
• Tell them how the conversation has made you feel, whether positive or negative. If you feel heard and confident that the right thing will happen, say so. If you feel disappointed, say why.

Speaking truth to power can feel really intimidating, even when you know and trust the leader you’re talking to. Like most things, the more you do it the easier it gets.?

Hearing truth to power

Irrespective of what a delightful, funny, approachable person you are, if you’re a leader you have power. Even if you see yourself as one of the gang, even if you’ve worked hard to create the most psychologically safe space possible, that dynamic will be at play to some degree in every single conversation you have with your team or ERG leader. You have authority or influence over their pay, their career, their future employment. If someone raises an issue that makes you feel irritated or uncomfortable, you’re probably hearing truth to power.

• Recognise that it has probably taken a lot of courage for the person to bring this up with you, and they have spent time and effort in preparing for the conversation. Possibly they’ve consulted colleagues on how to raise it and what to say, very probably promising to tell them how the conversation goes.
• Really listen. Really, really listen. It’s easy to think ‘oh for goodness sake, this old chestnut?’ It matters enough to the person that they have raised it with you. If the person seems angry or frustrated, they may be at the end of their tether. You can help by taking action.
• Don’t feel you have to offer a solution immediately. It’s often more important for the person to feel heard.?
• If you promise action, do it wholeheartedly. “I guess I could talk to the leadership team about this” becomes “I’ll talk to the leadership team and get back to you” and don’t dilute or downplay it when you do talk to the leadership team. Go back to the person within a week. They may not have the courage to raise it with you again, and they will feel let down that you didn’t follow up with them. Your psychologically safe space just became a little less safe.
• If you know that the topic won’t be welcomed or considered, be truthful. “I’m very unlikely to get traction on this. What’s the ultimate outcome you’re looking for, and what might be an alternative way to get it?”

Unlike my inept approach to raising issues with Miss Brice, differences of perspective between employees and leaders needn’t be adversarial. A willingness on both sides to listen and respect each other’s point of view is a good starting point to build a brave space for exchange of views.