Speaking confidently when put on the spot

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Have you ever been put on the spot to share your point of view and struggled to get your words out?

Yes, me too.

Well, the secret to confidently expressing yourself is simple. You just need a plan.

85% of us not only struggle to communicate clearly, but we also have genuine anxiety about it. The result is a feeling of being unable to make your point when called upon, plus:

• Feeling embarrassed and avoiding uncomfortable situations in the future.
• Others getting credit because they’re good at speaking out loud (not because they're great at their job).
• Lingering regret that you can’t speak up for yourself (a ‘boldness Regret’, which Dan Pink wrote about in his excellent book).

So, the only solution in this situation is to fix this once and for all. And one lesson I’ve learned since I began writing this newsletter and hosting my podcast is to be bold when seeking advice. If you have a burning question, go straight to the experts…

Matt Abrahams is a Lecturer at Stanford University Graduate School of Business . He’s also a podcast host and author of Think Faster, Talk Smarter, a book about improving spontaneous speaking skills. Having studied communication for a quarter of a century, Matt’s guidance is straightforward. If you struggle to articulate yourself under pressure, you need a strategy to improve. That means:

Repetition: Communication is a skill like any other. It takes practice.

Reflection: After speaking, consider what worked, what didn’t and what you can improve.

Feedback: Whether a manager, colleague or coach, you need specific ideas on where you’re succeeding and can improve.

Most people’s perceived inability to speak up comes from a place of fear. So, you also need an Anxiety Management Plan (AMP).

For Matt, this involves physical and mental hacks. He holds a cold bottle in his palm to reduce blushing and sweating. To eradicate imposter syndrome, he reminds himself that his audience has invited him to speak because they value his opinion.

I've also done my fair share of public speaking over the years and have created my own AMP. Whether speaking in a small meeting or to a room of hundreds, these principles free me from crushing nerves.

1. Prepare in-depth but reduce my final notes to just a handful of key points (releasing the pressure of too much information).
2. Repeat to myself, “I’m excited, I’m excited, I’m excited,” before speaking (reframing anxiety into positive anticipation).
3. Remind myself that I’m the only one who knows exactly what I intend to say (forgetting and adapting points only really matter to me).

Ok, so you’ve committed to treating this as a process of improvement.

You’ve come up with a few ways of reducing anxiety.

Now, how can you structure your communication to increase its impact?

Among the various frameworks Matt shares in his book, my go-to is What? So What? Now What?

Here’s how Matt expains it:

“I just love What–So What–Now What. It’s my favorite structure of all time on account of its simplicity and versatility. You start by discussing an idea, topic, product, service, or argument (What). Then you explain why it’s important, helpful, or useful—why it matters and is relevant (So What). You end with what your audience should do from here with this knowledge—how they might apply it, what actions they should take, and so on (Now What).”

You might worry that constantly falling back onto a defined structure will make you sound robotic. Risk making your words sound 'inauthentic'. But as Matt explained on this week’s podcast episode, the opposite is true:

“Structure actually helps your personality come out because it helps you feel comfortable knowing that what you're going to say will be received in a way that people can do something with it.”

So next time you’re preparing for a 1-2-1 conversation with your boss or are about to step into a meeting, consider:

• What point, specifically, do you want to make?
• Why does that matter, and what evidence can you give to bring it to life?
• What needs to happen next to build on your point and create a positive outcome?

Trust me, it works. Take another look at this newsletter’s structure for evidence.

Have a lovely weekend,

Ollie