The Spark: Social Approval 07/08/2023

From the conversation the other day:

"I wanted to put my paintings up for sale, but I got worried that no one would buy them...so I did not". The end.

The struggle between taking action and hesitating, wondering if what you're doing is good enough for others.

Self-sufficiency vs. social approval: picture it as a battle between doing things on your own and waiting for others to say you're doing well – this is where the secret to a good life lies.

Think about it: humans have always been social creatures. From way back, we needed groups of people around to survive and thrive.?

Despite technology's global influence that might reduce the necessity for direct human interaction, teamwork still underpins all technological advances. People deliver our food, control our transportation, build organizations, and more.?

One person cannot thrive without another.?

It's no wonder that, driven by the instinct of being a part of society, we often seek approval - within our families, schools, universities, workplaces, and more - at an instinctive level, we recognize our dependence on others.?

But here's the thing I've noticed: always wanting others to say you're doing okay can make you forget that you're just fine on your own. Let me give you some examples of what I mean:

• "I want to post this picture on Instagram, but what if no one likes it?"
• "I'd love to ask for a promotion, but what if my boss doesn't agree?"
• "These bright pink jeans are cool, but what if people think they're too much for me?"
• "I'm 40, but I can't smoke around my mom because she will shout at me."
• "I am a programmer, but I want to be an artist. Is that okay?"
• "I've got this cool business idea, but what if no one wants what I'm selling?”

(I'm not talking about anything illegal here, just to be clear.)

These are just a few common examples of seeking social approval. Now, let me illustrate what often follows:?

This cycle becomes endless until the next approval is sought.

In a world where everyone has an opinion and wants to tell you what to do, finding the right balance between wanting a thumbs up from others and believing in yourself is super important.

When it comes down to it, the most important thumbs up you can get is the one you give yourself.