The space between.

Listening: Dave Matthews Band

Thinking: “The space between where you smile and hide...”

A couple of weeks ago, a project I’ve been working on over the past few years was picked up for development.

Which means that my time with what I’ve created is nearing an end, and soon, I’ll hand it over to other people to shape it further, to breathe life into it and make what was once just thoughts and turmoil and a mishmash of emotions I was working through into something others can think about and wrestle with.

I wrote this project during a particularly challenging time in my life when I was just getting my arms around my fourth decade and what it means to want more at this age — to even ask for more, to somehow even know how to do this without apology.

This project, it was the space between where I was smiling and hiding, pressing mute on things just below the surface.

Pressing on.

Now, as I sit to make some final edits before I have to let it go, I find myself a little stuck.?

I’m never at a loss for words. Never.

But I’m a little daunted by writing the next right thing. The final thing for this project.

Maybe because I know that this is all I’ll have with this creative effort in its rawest, most real form. That this is the true part of me, my voice. And that once it’s finally captured on the page in a way that everyone’s happy with…?

It’s like singing in the wind: The words are there, the notes are sung… And then, it’s gone.

It’s what I want. Of course it is.?

And yet.?