The Space Between the Notes

'It is the space between the notes that makes the music.' - Wayne Dyer

I have always loved this quote... It is also the most challenging thing to open up in this high paced world where 'the nervous timetable of life' pushes so heavily on us all.

I am definitely no different... Husband, father, son, brother, friend, business owner and coach all of these roles come with responsibilities that are a privilege but also come with a weight.

I position myself and my brand as a 'High-Performance, Success and Leadership Coach' - The reality is in the middle of 2023 I was anything but that description. As my great mate and long time, Ross McAuley would say, 'My audio and video were out of alignment.'

My rituals were not regular and orderly and although the 'Instagram' version of life told a story of an international coach at the peak of his powers, the reality was very different.

One of my favourite lines is 'Nobody ever comes to us and says, I would like to be average. Can you help me with that?' But the inconvenient truth was that I was well below average. This was a 'text book' case of Cognitive Dissonance - the discomfort a person feels when their behaviour does not align with their values or beliefs. The most challenging part for me was not the excuses but how I bought into them time zones, long haul flights, buffets, BUSY.

The nature of my roles and where and how I perform them means I am always going to be 'extended' to be honest it is the magic in the nature of my strengths and I love it;

1. Includer - Push the circle wider
2. Maximizer - Working with the best
3. Belief - Commitment to my values and 'doing the right thing'
4. Positivity - Bring energy to everybody and everything
5. WOO - Build a high-performance community through 'deep care and deep challenge'

These strengths necessitate this extension... However, the massive 'blindspot and basement' of my configuration is 'OVEREXTENSION' - A lesson that my body first taught me last year (I can still see the look on Nick Hirst 's face as I hobbled into the room tp bennett ) and that I re-learnt in the middle of this year.

It was my 'KRYPTONITE' moment.

It was a lesson that I needed to learn... I needed to 'choose my hard' and reconnect with my rituals and goals (The very best version of me).

'You cannot talk yourself out of something, you have behaved yourself into...' Steve Covey

There is a beautiful and simple line from 'Playing to Win! How Strategy Really Works!' - A.G Lafley and Roger Martin... 'Winners Choose!'

The reality was that no matter how much I wanted to excuse myself, I had to make better choices and I needed to open up space and really be 'relentless' around my commitment to 'Great Weeks'.

'Choose Your Hard'

I have spent this week in Thailand to rejuvenate 'physically and mentally' it was an important decision (Choosing my hard) - 'I am looking to stop an old man from moving into my body' - I am deeply aware that exercise is the number one way I process and manage stress but I am also aware that 'a cluttered mind leads to a cluttered house'.

I am obviously focused on improved cardiovascular health, increased muscle strength, endurance, reducing body fat and enhancing my flexibility.

However, the release of endorphins these activities have driven have had a genuine impact on reducing my stress, boosting my mood and an increased understanding and connection with myself.

The experience of pushing my limits has always built my resilience, confidence, and discipline - This week has provided this for me. (It does not mean that as I sit here an hour out from Mike's 'Advanced Combat Strengths and Conditioning Class' that part of me is not saying... Stay by the pool. ??)

I am excited that I have broken my routine in a novel and challenging way providing a change that energises me and breaks me out of my comfort zones and provides a real injection of energy.

However, as much as I have enjoyed the physical challenge the place that I was most out of the comfort zone was on a silent retreat (I know a number of my friends were running a book on how long I would last but I made it ??).

Having the time without the distractions of conversations, electronic devices or even reading, a place where I could truly turn inwards and reflect deeply on what matters most to me a time to reflect and look forward. I believe the silence magnified my experience giving me a real sense of alignment. Deepening my mindfulness and the connection to what really matters to me.

The calm environment broke my usual stressors and opened up space. Space is such an important concept for me - It is a key indicator of where I am 'Present or Absent' in my life.

Opening Up Space – ‘Being Present’

1.??? Meditation – Opening up space in your mind.

2.??? Journaling – Opening up space for gratitude.

3.??? Exercise – Opening up space for confidence.

4.??? Community – Opening up space for connection.

5.??? Laughter – Opening up space for success.

Creating Voids – ‘Being Absent’

1.??? Procrastination – Avoiding decisions.

2.??? Judgement – Avoiding deeper reflection.

3.??? Fear – Avoiding courageous decisions.

4.??? Stagnation – Avoiding the challenge of positive change.

5.??? Regret – Avoiding the opportunity that it might not work.

These few days of silence (I managed 48 hours) promoted a real sense of well-being. It gave me time with my emotions giving me an opportunity to address and process my feelings - Time to reflect on my mission, my purpose, my guidelines, my values and my goals.

But most of all time to be grateful for all that I have and to get focused on the 'Husband, Father, Son, Brother, Mate, Business Partner, Business Leader, Coach and Person' that I want to continue to evolve into.

Without interruptions, it became easier to focus on a single task or thought, sharpening my concentration. It deepened my spiritual connection, the silence offered me a chance to connect more profoundly with my spiritual side at the heart of the person I want to continue to evolve into.

'No person steps into the same river twice because it is not the same river and you are not the same person.' - Chinese Proverb

I feel this time has boosted my creativity - I have taken the time since my silent retreat to;

• Reflect on 2023 (Our 2byb Preparation Document)
• Review and evaluate my 2023 (Accountability Document - Our 2b Limitless Strategy and Goal Setting Process)
• Set and Ask myself the 10 most powerful questions that matter to me at the moment.
• Set my 2024 goals
• Create my 2029 Strategy (The year I turn 60!)
• Focus on the evolution of my 2024 Model

The mind, when uncluttered by daily chatter and distractions, can produce fresh ideas and insights - Amazing things have evolved for me.

Facing my thoughts without distraction has led to personal discoveries, insights, and a better understanding of 'The Best Version of Me'.

For me this has been a transformative experience - I am back in Thailand in a little over two weeks to lead our annual 2b Limitless 2byb 'International High-Performance Leadership and Goal Setting Retreat' with Peter Charles Turner , David Labouchere and Andy Combe - On reflection the last two years I have just fallen over the line... This year I am 'coming in??'.

Reach out to Olivia Marshall at [email protected] if you would like to know more about 2byb or any of 2b Limitless programs.

2b Limitless – ‘Because… Your world needs you at your best!'

2b Limitless is a High Performance Coaching, Coach Certification and Training Business founded in Dubai by Mick Todd and led by Mick and Peter Charles Turner surrounded by a world-class support team and Executive Coaches in the Middle East, Australia, New Zealand, Europe, Asia and Africa whom are all 2b Limitless , Accredited Performance Coaches (2bAPC), 2b Limitless is dedicated to bringing the very best version of individuals, teams and organisations to life.

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