The Source of Your Fears and Anxieties

If you had to identify the one area in your life that was producing the greatest amount of stress, what would it be? I know: you probably have more than one simple answer. When you start to think about, the list could quickly grow and include a very wide collection of issues! So, let’s take a few examples. Do you worry about your work? Perhaps you have concerns about your health? Do you feel anxious about your finances? How about your family? Your relationships? Do you lie awake at night worrying about the state of the planet? The underlying question here is to asky ourself why you expend so much precious time and energy on worrying about things?

Courage is knowing what not to fear.

-?????? Plato

Most of the time, the stress reaction’s nothing more than a deeply-embedded habit. It’s a conditioned reflex that we learned from our parents and - for many - it becomes a signature of what we believe to be a normal representation of ‘adult’ behaviour. We associate stress, worry and anxiety with being grown up. So, we adopt the traits of worried, stressed people in order to appear to be fully functioning, independent, adult members of society. There are plenty of cases of young women having children in order to demonstrate their adult status. Unfortunately, physical maturity does not always equate to emotional maturity but it’s a widely-recognised phenomenon.

Fear is also a powerful mechanism that our egos constantly deploy in order to keep us off balance. One of the best definitions of the ego’s purpose is that it constantly prompts us to seek the answers to life’s great questions – whilst ensuring that we never discover the truth. This ancient definition reminds us that the ego often feels very vulnerable and that it will do anything in its power to maintain its fragile existence. Its favourite weapon is fear. It threatens us with wild imaginings and dredges up all of our old anxieties in order to keep us under control. It certainly knows where all our weak spots can be found – and it knows how to provoke our fears.

But we are so much more than the limitations of our egos and one of the ways to measure our progress is in terms of how successfully we can grow beyond its range and influence.

Your mission: Be so busy loving your life that you have no time for hate, regret or fear.

-?????? Karen Salmansohn

This brings us closer to the heart of the matter. Because the real source of our fear is not to be found in the world around us. Their roots can be found much closer to home.

In reality, our fears are a product of our minds.

We project whatever’s in our hearts onto the great screen of the world around us and the way we see things is a reflection of our thoughts and feelings. We create the reactions that shape our perception using the emotional materials that were laid down during our early childhood.

When we begin to recognise that most of our fears are the twin products of the ego and the conditioned reflexes of our formative years, we can take steps to free ourselves from this compulsive, limiting behaviour. The simple fact is that fear rarely serves our best interests. Its visceral, emotional drive deflects us away from the immensely useful reasoning power of our higher brain function. We freeze in the face of fear. Or we can overreact in our attempts to save ourselves from whatever threat we’re perceiving. Fear and logic represent diametrically opposed forces. When confronted by a challenge, the rational mind is far more capable of helping us to reason our way through the difficulties. Fear is a far less reliable resource.

Ultimately, we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom.

-?????? Marilyn Ferguson

?In the face of this instinctive and deeply-conditioned fear response, what can we do to disarm its pernicious influence?

The most practical step is to learn how to pause and consider the alternatives. This shift in attitude can be triggered with a simple question. You ask yourself ‘What if…’ and take a moment to think about the different options that are available to you.

This fundamental shift in your reactions stimulates your higher brain function and turns down the stress response. As you focus on the alternatives, your fear has to give way to the light of your rational mind. Fear and logic cannot share the same moment or the same space. By favouring logic and encouraging the reasoning faculties, your fears and anxieties lose their prominent role and recede into the background of your consciousness.

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.

-?????? Dorothy Thompson

If we can recognise that fear is mostly a habit and a distracting tactic of the ego, we can challenge its supremacy by inviting the rational mind to participate in every challenge we encounter. This shift in our behaviour can introduce healthier, more positive habits into our daily experience. Finally, fear can be tamed and our egos relegated to a more useful function. We step beyond the limitations imposed by our fears and perceive the world in far greater detail than ever before.

He who has overcome his fears will be truly free.

-?????? Aristotle

Are you ready right now for a completely fresh approach to life’s great adventure? Get in touch with us today for a free session to discover how the growing global movement for personal growth, success, change and empowerment can enhance your life!

Greg Parry designed and built the Cognitive Empowerment Programs specifically to help people master their stress, overcome their limitations and explore the power of their true potential.

If you enjoy these blogs, you can imagine how much fun it is to have Greg in the room as an inspirational and highly perceptive speaker. It’s a fabulous way to enhance your communication and boost productivity. It’s a fabulous way to put wellbeing front and centre in your organisation. Courses run from a half-day to a full week. If you’d like to invite Greg to talk to your company, organisation or event, feel free to get in touch.

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